Why did he only book me once?
I wonder if some escorts I have only booked once, may have been left questioning, what went wrong? Where did he go? So this blog article is about what happened to make our booking an orphan.
I hope that escorts don’t think back to ‘single-bookings’ with any melancholy, confusion or sadness. I sure do! I actually feel reminiscent and sad about these ‘lonely moments’ fairly regularly. The longer that I have been a client, the more I think about missed pathways and why no one discusses: Why did it only happen once?
The ‘one-night-stand’ of the escort-client world.
In my mind, these single-bookings are sad little orphans. Moments that happened once and never led to a sequel. They are rarely spoken about, and in my opinion are more common within the companion (escorting) segment of the sex industry. Why? In my view it is because escorting is about far more than sex, it is also about connection and companionship. After sharing a short intense period of intimacy, it would be reasonable to wonder: Why was there no follow-up booking?
As you may know from this blog, most of my escort bookings are longer ones, primarily dinners. Sometimes I book an escort for a short ‘first meeting’, although on many occasions it is straight to dinner. That means that although it is ‘paid’ and a business exchange, it is also a dinner date. The ‘paid part’ means that it is the client (for these stories me) who didn’t ask for a second date, and it would be reasonable for the escort to have wondered why, especially when everything went so well.
Of course no one asks and no one tells – it can be a lonely and painful industry for both worker and client. So this is my chance, in a very general way, to explain why we ‘dated once’ and never saw each other again.
So what are the reasons?
I found this article fairly hard to write and more emotional than I expected, as some of these meetings are still very strong memories. I won’t talk numbers or specifics, but some detail may be required. Firstly, I can say with hand-on-heart, that I have not had any terrible escort bookings, so it is never from regret over the first booking. Although the strength of connection and enjoyment of each individual experience may vary significantly, I have never been in the position of wishing that I had never booked a particular escort. Every experience was welcomed and positive!
In a way that is one of the reasons this is awkward and difficult, no escort should think that they didn’t create a quality booking – at least none that I have met so far. So the reasons are less logical, more personal, more experiential and in many cases as accidental as deliberate. So what happens to make a booking the beginning and the end?
Ships passing in the night!
One set of reasons for a single date are geographic, and other logistical barriers that reduce the frequency of opportunity to see a particular escort. Seeing an escort while on tour or when the client is traveling can make it harder for subsequent bookings as the opportunities have to re-align. Almost half of the escorts I have only seen on only one occasion were because they were on tour or I was in an uncommon location. I would see many, at least half of these ‘time and place’ opportunistic bookings again, if the chance presented itself again.
The sad thing is that I don’t really keep in contact with most of this group of escorts, as not knowing when I might see these wonderful women again makes me reluctant to use up their time in social media, emails or texts. So in the end, the half that I would see again, didn’t get any more feedback on our evening together than the half that I don’t plan on seeing again. One person in particular, in a city I rarely get to visit, is oblivious to how much I liked her, the the amazing quality of our evening together, and how much I would like to see her again if the stars were to align. It would be nice to be able let these escorts know how well the booking went, but without the evidence of a follow-up booking such messages seem hollow and unbelievable.
How important is post-booking contact?
So just as an escort may think ‘where did that client go’, after feeling that a booking went well, clients (or at least I) often end up with the same post-booking doubts and questions. What I’ve noticed in putting this article together is that I have a number of ‘once-only’ bookings that I felt were magnificent. I thought we had a great time, the connection was strong and we both said things that felt like we would see each other again.
When I compare some people I’m still seeing with the ones that I haven’t re-booked since, one of the big differences is ‘post-booking contact’. I always send something (text or private message) that is meaningful and true as a thank-you for the booking. The escorts that later returned a communication, saying something meaningful and positive, for example re-enforcing how the booking experience felt, are confirming and endorsing the connection.
Rightly or wrongly, a positive post-booking response from an escort, sends a subtle signal that a re-booking request would be welcomed. No response, or a very ‘luke-warm’ one, sends a different signal – the signal that a request for a re-booking may not be as welcomed. It should be no surprise to anyone that escorts I never heard from again, especially after a follow-up message of my own went cold, have not heard back from me.
It is a subtle emotional thing, but really believing that the ‘moment’ together was good often takes a message of reinforcement in the ‘cold, hard light of day’. Of course this is subject to discretion and privacy, the care of not breaking confidences, and largely I am talking about responding to a client’s ‘post-booking’ message or once it is know that corresponding is safe and welcome.
Whether there is any actual difference, or whether this is just good marketing, at the end of the day doesn’t matter. Being contacted made me feel good, being ignored made me feel bad. The being ignored removed, or placed significant doubt, on the feelings of ‘how special the booking was’ and discouraged me from making a re-booking request. There are a few still memorable instances, where one kind word after the booking would have made me arrange a second booking, but they are now on my list of ‘one-time’ connections.
Failure to connect.
Sometimes we just fail to click. It could be the circumstances, a bad day or it is just not meant to be. We are not meant to get along with everyone. As I mentioned, I don’t have any disasters, but there are some meetings that didn’t go so well and once was enough. If an escort felt this way too, it would be more than fair for her to ‘signal’ that she didn’t want to see me again, by ignoring any communication and not reinforcing anything positive from the date. This is some of the subtle signalling that escorts and clients use with each other, it would be sad of course if better connections evaporated due to some missed chance to communicate.
A long-time between drinks.
The final group in my experience (so far), are the escorts that I would like to see again, but haven’t as yet. In my case, that list is not large but it does exist. There are some escorts I have seen and I have every intention of seeing again, but some time has passed since our first meeting. The reasons are varied, just like any plan that is taking a while to make happen. This is a difficult scenario too, as it is hard to keep ‘lines of communications’ open with somebody that you aren’t ready to re-book just yet. It is easy to look like a ‘time waster’, even if you have seen someone before, if there is a long-time between drinks, literally!
Constant dialogue seems awfully like time-wasting and is difficult for both parties. No communication is also terrible for the obvious reasons. So the longer this gap goes on, the harder it is, in some respects, to go back for the sequel. How do you explain that you want to re-book, but it may be many months before that chance comes. In some ways, you just have to treat this like the other ‘one-time’ bookings that never moved on – until it is time to make that second booking. This has its own issues as both of you know it will also be likely that a third and subsequent booking are also going to have long time gaps in between them.
How do we fix these dilemmas?
I doubt that there is a solution and in addition to the scenarios above, are other types of clients including those who only want to see any escort they meet once. My suggestions are that escorts who had a good time with a client – let them know, make them feel good, and maybe they will be more likely to re-book. For clients, give the escort positive feedback even if it sounds hollow or has significant time gaps. For all of us, realise that just because it only happened once, doesn’t mean that it wasn’t great. I have some very fond memories of some of my ‘escort one-night stands’.
Thank you for your readership. I hope you remember some of your single bookings fondly. Your sharing, comments here and on Twitter and any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Xx SP 21 March 2017 (article updated 13 May 2017).