What Went Wrong?

Escort bookings have plenty of chances to go wrong!

Escort bookings make speed-dating look simple!

The first five minutes of a first escort booking are intense by any standard. Even if there has been plenty of preliminaries – screening, communication and deposits, it is still two people meeting each other for the first time – meeting to have sex.

There is so much that can go wrong. Even if the first booking is a huge success, every subsequent encounter is still intense, and the chance of something negative happening is greater than in most other human interactions. Often one of the people is left wondering – what the hell happened, what went wrong?

The pathway to rapid intimacy – stage one.

In those first five minutes you could fill an entire novel. The client is appraising his booking for the first time in real life, and if they are a decent client, they are trying to complete all the preliminaries and make the Escort feel at ease.

I assume at the same moment, the Escort is assessing safety, payment, venue (if an outcall), as well as the same human appraisal summations as the client – all in rapid time. Adrenaline and heart rates are high, time slows, nerves show through and not everything is taken in and absorbed – at least by me. Yet despite this, I think I know how it is going to go – good or bad – within the first 30-seconds. Humans are amazing at this early assessment stuff really.

I try and handle the payment immediately, with a hotel room tour, drink offer and light chat, all within the first minute. Then I try and give the Escort some space for her booking process, counting the money, texting security and whatever else she needs in her own process of getting organised. Then I (we) try to slow the pace down to get relaxed. It is amazing when this feels in-sync and the early chat is light, funny and pleasant. That is always a good sign.

First bookings with a chatty and open client.

I am a largely open book, within reason. I try and share personal material and insights into ‘who I am’ as part of a rapid journey to personal intimacy. This has risks, and if it is not reciprocated (at least in part) when I encounter an Escort who is very closed, or ‘mechanical’, then I know we are probably not going to meet again. Even if the sex is good, as I have explained in other blog articles, I’m here for physical and mental intimacy.

For a client and escort who are both talkative, and sharing, even at a relatively safe and superficial level, the pathway to intimacy is faster than in any other meeting of two human beings (this is only my opinion of course). That is part of the appeal, part of the addiction, part of what makes this a different experience to the rest of the slower, darker, more boring regular world. It also brings a supercharged environment for things to go wrong.

The pathway to rapid intimacy – stage two.

Both the client and escort build a connection. A lot of this is based on personal experience, short-cuts and assumptions. In showing each other our ‘good-sides’ and then both building an intimate portrait of each other, neither party has really learned those long, hard, lessons of what the ‘red-flags’ are, the danger areas, the no-go zones, or where those ‘crazy’ little parts we all hide inside are lurking.

There is a minefield lurking between the unicorns and rainbows we show each other – ready to be triggered at any time. When the client’s bomb goes off, or the escort’s bomb goes off, the other one is probably going to say to themselves – what the fcuk just happened!

What traps are being set for destruction?

Is the connection too intimate or not intimate enough? Did something get said that triggered an old wound? Is the level of ‘neediness’ building a feeling of care or pity? Is the conversation connecting, repelling or too invasive? Is the physical side clumsy or cute, rough or effeminate? Are the areas being focused on erogenous or irritating? Are the aromas a turn-off or turn-on? There are just so many approaches, things, beliefs and behaviours that can build a connection or destroy it. In this fast race to intimacy, the number of traps left hidden, ready to destroy any building interpersonal connection are huge.

When a deal-breaker happens?

Whether it is one critical ‘deal-breaker’, or the build up of lots of small negatives, when either the Escort or the client decides ‘the bomb has gone off’, they are unlikely to tell the other person due to the ‘transactional’ and ‘momentary’ nature of client-escort connections. They are just going to decide that this booking is the last booking (unless it is a ‘red card’ walk-out-on-the-booking offence).

In many of these cases, the other person, client or escort, is unlikely to know any of the detail of what happened. Why, when a connection was being made (in their view) did the other person pull the pin? This is unfortunately very likely to happen in client-escort connections, because in the rapid race to intimacy, the speed of advancement skips a lot of these discussions and discoveries.

Once again, I don’t have any answers, I just want to get people thinking. If anything, my only suggestion is to be aware that this is a common thing, and also maybe consider sharing any feedback with someone you are feeling close to, or think may be feeling close to you. Rejection is hard, but unclear rejection can be worse.

Since the first version of this article, I have seen polls showing that honest criticism between clients and escorts is rare. This isn’t surprising, no one wants to hear that their ‘best representation’ in a booking has shortcomings. Often the client or escort just moves on, or more accurately away.

If your connection is something that you want to maintain, deciding if issues are worth exposing and attempting to resolve, is a hard decision. I have tried now, mentioning some issues that have arisen, on a couple of occasions. I feel bad mentioning anything, I am not sure I am entitled to do so, and I am fearful of the risks. The result is often complex, feeling like a step forward and backward at the same time. The reality of two people resolving an issue seems to diminish the fantasy of perfect escort-client relations. I still can’t say what the better approach is – honesty or fantasy?

Thank you for your readership. Your comments and feedback is greatly appreciated as is any promotion of my articles.

Xx SP 10 April 2017 (article updated 21 May 2017).

 

3 thoughts on “What Went Wrong?”

  1. I really appreciated this piece! As a new escort, I really like being able to see from the clients side what makes a client tick. How can I make the booking better etc etc. I’ll definitely be more mindful of these things now 🙂

    Like

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