Ending longstanding escort-client connections.
One day, the escort or client will retire from their participation in the industry, however most connections won’t last until anywhere near that natural end.
Sometimes the ending of a regular and repeat connection is easy, sometimes it has a great deal of pain attached. The sad truth is that they all end.
A run of endings.
For a long time I didn’t experience or appreciate that the connections I was making would end. Of course I had the once only bookings I spoke about in my article Single Booking Sadness, but here I’m talking about escorts I had seen at least half-a-dozen times and felt a strong connection with. In the early days, they just seemed like they would roll on, continuing to deepen and grow. Wow, how naive was I?
Then it happened, my first ‘escort breakup’, then another, then another and you guessed it, then another. So why does this happen, what does it mean and what should be done about it?
The common denominator!
I am the common factor in my relatioships, just as you are in yours. Four types of factors or things happened to me that caused these enjoyable regular or repeat experiences to come to an end.
The logic of availability.
Firstly the rules of the universe intervened – the rules of time and maths. Early on, these relatioships were new and the number of bookings we had shared together was small. As I moved through my second year as a client, I had more ‘regulars’ than was realistically manageable, and the length of these relationships had hit a point where any issues we may have with ongoing compatibility became revealed, exposed and ultimately actioned.
I couldn’t keep seeing all of the same regular escorts, and in some cases our relationships had gone as far as they ever would, and were in fact now decaying. The first of these to end hurt more as a result of shock and learning than deeper emotional hurt and I guess now, I understand that if a client or escort is around for the long-haul, then this clearing and changing is a natural part of this weird but wonderful world.
If the first reason for ending was more about my decisions on who to keep seeing, then this second group of endings is more about the Escort making the choice on who to continue receiving bookings from.
There are many ways that this can happen, and the ones that I have experienced felt to me, the client, as things like, being non-responsive, money-grabbing opportunism, coldness and other forms of shifting to exceptionally hard business shown over the softer companionship that was often a part of the earlier bookings with the same escort.
It really doesn’t matter what the example or the reason, one way or another the escort either decided to limit availability, close contact, be much harsher, or favour short-term financial outcomes over continuing a longer relationship. The effect is the same, the escort decided that I wasn’t for them as part of their regular client cohort. As we all know, it doesn’t matter who pulls the trigger on a ‘separation’, it can hurt almost as much either way.
On top of these client led selections and escort triggered exits, I had my own additional cocktail of triggers that caused an end in proceedings. For a few months at least, I wasn’t my relatively happy-go-lucky self. Let’s just say I had family, work and other ‘real-life’ drama that put me in a low place – a more needy, sad, insecure and unhappy place. In a weakened emotional position, we take actions that are not always ideal.
This is the category of client instability and unsuitability, it captures a lot of territory. For me, I am not talking about anything financial, violent, unclean or otherwise unsavoury, I was just overly stressed and needy. As a result, I was looking for support in my life and this included testing my escort relationships for support – asking for more emotional connection than I deserved from these financial transactions.
To my eternal good fortune, a few escorts were kind enough and close enough to offer me this ‘beyond the work’ support. Thank you so much! The rest, as you would expect, didn’t, it was a ‘step too far’ in the Girlfriend experience. Cutting a client loose can be done with good grace, it can be done with venom, and it can even be done with shame and embarrassment.
Those that cut me down hard and with venom, I will gladly not see again, there are some nasty escorts around. Those that effectively said, sorry, but no, I will happily see again and appreciate their professionalism and boundaries. Those that helped me, I owe so much, and without changing any professional boundaries of the business, I also count as friends. When you get into long-standing regular escort-client relationships, the decisions become unique, individual and highly personal.
There are also unusual, needy and other personal escort actions that can cause break-ups. This, like my story above, is too broad and personal a range of things to be listed. Suffice to say that I have experienced some behaviours that I don’t understand and the results need to be considered as the personal and private reasons of the escort. They may be rational or they may not, but when either party, client or escort says that it is over – then it’s over.
There are other reasons too, but escort or client, if you are here for a while, breakups are part of the territory. Some hurt, some don’t, some are necessary some are not. The connections that survive this strange and wonderful world are rare, very rare, and nothing less than minor miracles.
I would love your thoughts and thanks for reading my work.
Xx SP 1 April 2017 (article updated 19 May 2017 and again 23 May 2018).