How I (initially) choose an Escort?

What makes a client select an escort?

Thoughts on selecting an escort. How do I choose? How do you choose?

Well I have no idea how you make this very difficult choice. So this article will have to be about how I select an escort for a booking request. Hopefully that gets a few people talking, in social media or via comments, about your thoughts on this complicated decision. Originally, I called this article: Virtual, Physical and Cerebral … but that wasn’t a great title, so I have renamed this piece the obvious — How to choose an Escort?

There is a big difference between making a first-time booking and making a repeat booking, so I am going to try and cover a little of each. In the case of an initial booking, a client normally hasn’t met the escort, for this article I am going to call that a ‘virtual’ selection, since these days it is most likely the result of an entirely online discovery.


Virtual to Physical – meeting for the first time.

For most clients, I guess the process starts with some sort of ‘imagined scenario’ of what a first booking with a particular escort would be like. Since everyone’s ‘tastes’ are different, and people’s desires and imagination are so varied, clients are likely to differ significantly in their approach and the online method that works for them. So the process I am describing is one that seems to work for me, it is not a suggestion, and I am interested in what works for you.

It is probably a general truth that photos play the largest part in the initial ‘virtual’ selection. Sexual arousal for most men is very visual and it is not surprising that Escorts go to great lengths getting regular photo shoots and spending long periods of time deciding how to present themselves physically and what photos to show. At this point however, every potential client’s difference in what ‘works for them’ comes into play. I don’t have a particular preference for hair colour for example, although looking back I am about half blond and half brunette for bookings with a small number of redheads.

I am also not concerned about full-face or hidden-face. Although full-face makes it easier to make a selection, I fully respect escorts wanting to maintain as much privacy as possible. In this early selection stage, even with full-face, the prospective client still has to ‘imagine’ the booking and the escort. As a side note, it is rare to be disappointed on meeting an escort with a ‘hidden face’ profile, it is usually about privacy and not hiding features.

Making an initial selection.

It is an uncomfortable truth that at the beginning of a search, prospective clients are really browsing a ‘catalogue of escorts’. Whether the ‘punter’ (a name I dislike, but suits the ‘searching and gambling’ nature of this process) is utilizing the services of websites like Scarlet Blue (SB), Available Angels (AA), Punter Planet (PP), Private Girls (PG) or any of the other aggregating websites (some now defunct as a result of the unfortunate Sesta-Fosta consequences), or just making their own searches, it all starts with finding escorts that ‘appeal’ to the client. This is primarily a ‘how does the escort look’ decision.

My personal preference in Australia is Scarlet Blue, but I have reviewed and selected escort profiles from other sites as well. There are of course escorts with their own websites and active on social media, and there are approaches that don’t require the use of aggregator (industry) websites. I have seen escort’s personal websites, however I have normally discovered escorts from the industry websites named above, or from the social media posts of these same websites, when they progressively promote their advertising escorts. Or in my case from direct discovery on Twitter.

I realise there is a lot to say on this topic, so I will probably go into more detail on specific selection thinking in a future article. It is important to say that during this initial profile review, I am not interested in an escort’s rates (price) or their services. My first question is a simple one, do I find the escort physically attractive? Then, do I like what they say and how they describe themselves, including any insights that I can see from the escort’s social media and other clues, reviews (with lots of caution), personal preferences and the general style of their self-representation online.

In most cases I generally filter out escorts who say nothing about themselves and those who are too aggressive online. I look for communicative escorts who seem authentic and are not bitter or angry. I know this is still only an ‘impression’, but some escorts spend almost all of their online energy complaining about how awful clients are, and in some cases fighting with other sex-workers – well you get the point, I don’t book them.

Progressing to a booking request.

I expect that similar to me, most prospective clients look at many more profiles of Escorts than they actually make booking requests with. So once I have ‘selected an Escort’, what moves me to request a booking? In my case I am seeing less new escorts these days, because I want to re-book others I have seen before. Every so often however the adrenaline and the newness of a ‘first-time booking’ is attractive and I go down this road of discovery again. It is mostly about practicalities by this stage. Will the escort be in the same place (city) as me? What services do they provide and can I afford their rate? Have I already thought about booking them in the past, or heard another escort recommend them? These are all significant factors that come together as part of a complicated personal set of considerations.

There is lots that I could say on services and rates – topics for another time. For me it is simply this, do the services indicate I can book a date that will match my preferences.

As a longer, dinner-date kind-of-guy, I am looking for indications that this is also an enjoyed booking format for the escort. I am not bothered by covered or uncovered, but I am likely to avoid escorts that are more focused on short-bookings, primarily PSE or other combinations that suggest a dinner-date GFE is likely to be less comfortable for them (and therefore for me as well).

I don’t care if the escort does porn or not, just whether when in their ‘escort mode’ they have a service offering that suits my preferences. Then I make a rate decision, this clearly (and sometimes sadly) knocks out a number of choices, as we all have our own comfort range for anything that we buy, just as every escort has their own pricing decision as a result of a large number of personal and market factors.

When rate ‘mismatch’ is the filter.

I know some prospective clients may look for ‘promotions’, or try to negotiate a ‘special rate’, or in severe cases, criticize the escort publicly or privately for her ‘supposedly high rate’ (in their opinion). None of these are appropriate client options in my personal view. I don’t take promotional rates any more. The problem is that if I really like the escort (and why would I be meeting an escort that I did not hope to like), then I am going to have a rate problem in the future.

I also hate negotiating rates, it actually makes me feel sleazy (OK, you can say sleazier if you want to be mean) and I think that it creates an instant reduction in the satisfaction of both the escort and therefore ultimately the client too. I have negotiated ‘unusual date formats’ in the past, but even in these special circumstances, I am now avoiding the negotiation of rates for any type of booking. So that means a rate either works or it doesn’t. It also means I am extremely unlikely to tell an escort that ‘the rate doesn’t work’ for me. I just move on to a different decision.

I guess it is something that every escort (like every business) would love to know – how many bookings and from what type of customer would they get as a result of different rate choices? A crystal ball would be wonderful! I am very happy for escorts who are more successful than I can afford, but for my bookings, that means I have to move on to another escort that I wish to meet who is within my affordability (probably better described as ‘comfort’) range.

A thought for escorts considering their rates, if you are starting out or not getting the volume that you want, maybe you made a poor rate choice. Clients like me are unlikely to tell you and you either get the volume that suits the rate or the clients who love to negotiate a deal. Of course if you are getting too many booking enquiries, then you know what to do. If that prices me out of being able to book you, then I will still be the first to congratulate you on your business success. I am in the same position in my career – some customers can’t afford me and some competitors charge more than me. That’s life and business.

So if everything matches, then when an opportunity presents itself, I will enquire for a booking – that process is also too big a topic to cover here, again a topic for another day. Another worthwhile note here, if I intend to book an escort in the future, then I don’t feel guilty engaging with them in social media. If that escort rejects me in social media (for example as a time waster), then I will move on to someone who has treated me more kindly prior to our first meeting.

Physical to Cerebral – meeting for the second time (and beyond).

All of the above relates to first bookings only. Once you have seen someone, the dynamic changes to something completely different. New photos, new bio, reviews by other clients and for the most part public social media are no longer part of the booking process, it is primarily about how our past bookings went, and how the communication between bookings supports re-booking and ultimately regular booking.

I know some escorts have calendars made up almost entirely of re-bookings and as a result can ease back on their public marketing and advertising. I know others who, for whatever reason, have largely new clients. Some of this will be about choice, part of it may be that some escorts are better at winning new clients and some are better at holding on to the ones they have. I know which group of escorts I prefer to see, but any combination is a legitimate business model and will appeal to certain clients. If an Escort’s business model and desired client base are a perfect match – then that is a wonderful thing. Another day I will explore what makes me re-book and why I see certain escorts as regulars, again those dynamics work for me but may not work for others. To be honest, as some of my articles show, it doesn’t always work for me – we are all learning and we are all changing.

Eventually the marketing (virtual online aspect) gives way to an ongoing escort-client relationship that is the same as any ongoing connection between two people (or a business and its customers) – it depends on both parties getting what they need from the relationship and that is the interesting part, what a client needs varies enormously and so does what an escort needs (after the obvious need to earn a living).

I believe pure physical appeal starts to give way very quickly to other things. In my case, that is a complex list but comes down to ‘how well we click’. How much do I strongly desire to see someone again, that I have enjoyed their company and want to have more moments with, someone that I am starting to think of as more of an ‘occasional friend and desired lover’, than an Escort on some industry list.

How do you make this difficult and complicated choice?

Thank you for your readership. Your thoughts, comments and article sharing are all greatly appreciated.

Xx SP 20 March 2017 (article updated 11 May 2017 and again on 18 May 2018).

My Threesome Curse

Why are my threesome bookings linked with disasters?

Seven Stories of Woe!

I have a curse when it comes to doubles bookings (threesomes). Sure, I may be reading too much into these experiences, I often do, but you be the judge. Read about my seven doubles experiences, not all that bad to be honest, but at the end you decide – should I risk another doubles booking?

The numbers speak for themselves, seven attempts, fourteen wonderful escorts, and from the ashes nine that I have never seen again and maybe only five that I am still seeing. That is not good results in anyone’s books – and the common point of failure is me. I am cursed when it comes to doubles bookings – see for yourself.


Doubles encounter one.

I had been seeing escorts for several months by this stage, and I had mentioned to a few escorts that eventually I would like to try a doubles booking. Two escorts plus me, lesbian or straight, it didn’t really matter. My first experience was largely unplanned.

I had a dinner booking with an escort that I like and completely trust, and we had already seen each other on many occasions. Not long before the booking, she contacted me to tell me that an overseas escort that she admired (and had been in long-term contact with), was going to be in the country and would I consider changing the booking to my first double. With a lot of nerves and messages exchanged, I excitedly agreed that after dinner, we would be joined by this ‘mystery guest’.

In many ways it was a great evening, lots of conversation and a great feeling of fun. The sexual intimacy was a little strange. For one thing, at around that time last year, and as a result of stress and other issues, I was not always a great performer. OK, I’ll spit it out, I didn’t always achieve an orgasm. My companion knew this, and was probably a little nervous on my behalf, and protective of me. I also felt that she was also a little in awe of our international guest. Our guest picking up on these clues, was also a little reluctant to ‘step in’, and I felt that she was holding back.

In the end, the guest took charge and it was a very erotic experience. We never spoke about the elements of awkwardness and restraint, and we probably should have, but both of us had other things and issues going on in our lives, and we never really mentioned that booking again.

After a few more bookings, we had some other communication drama over some other issues, and we haven’t seen each other since. Her last message to me stated clearly that she would not take any future bookings from me. The double wasn’t the end of our long connection, but it did mark the start of a slide in the quality of our connection and probably didn’t help. I don’t blame the double for not seeing either of these two lovely escorts anymore, but then I didn’t know that I was cursed yet. For the record, I miss my companion from these experiences, she is a wonderful person and a wonderful escort and our ‘international guest’ was also a very lovely companion.

Doubles encounter two.

This story has an element of déjà vu already. Once again a long-standing regular, who knew of my desire to experience a doubles-booking, and knew a lot of other things about me as well. We had shared many experiences, much of the story of our lives and our hopes and dreams. I never disrespected our business arrangement, but felt that we were also friends and I trusted her to navigate me through any experiences.

Another ‘late notice’ experience, I had a big function on, and due to the nature of it, knew that I would be pretty drunk that evening. So although we were in the same city, we had said that we wouldn’t ‘catch-up’ that day. In post-event contact later that evening, we convinced each other to change plans and meet. We ended up together and in the process invited another escort into a booking for a double. This experience had lots of twists and turns that simply can’t be told. My alcohol fueled state meant that I was useless physically, but despite that, it was a weird, surreal and in most ways an enjoyable evening. After a long session, my regular was asleep, and I was finally able to ‘get hard’ and have sex with the companion that had joined us. I don’t think that went down too well with my regular companion.

In the days that followed we exchanged messages. Some issues from that night, as well as some that had perhaps been lurking beneath the surface, from the lengthy history we had together, played out. Apparently I had asked the companion that had joined us for her details – I don’t remember that, but I do believe that in my state, that was likely. I also felt hurt by what was said, and in the end, we stopped communicating and haven’t seen each other since that night. This really was a disaster. I miss her and how we were together, and I think I lost the start of a friendship in the process. Client-escort relations and friendships under these sort of circumstances are fragile things. She is probably glad to have seen the back of me!

Doubles encounter three.

This time I felt I had learned a lesson (or two). My double number three was different in many ways. This time it was with two escorts that I had only seen once before, each of them separately. So we had ‘good connections’, but no long-standing ‘regular-client’ relationship on the line this time. It was also planned, as one escort was finishing a tour of the selected city and the other escort was commencing theirs. Finally, it was also a pair of escorts that had doubled many times and in fact are quite renown for their doubles.

I may be using a bit of artistic license to call this a ‘tale of woe’ or ‘disaster’, as it was actually a wonderful booking. I can however claim that it was cursed – well sort of. One escort met me earlier, for us to have day-spa massages at the hotel. Once we had finished and were getting ready for dinner, she realized part of her outfit was back at her hotel. The doubles partner had to turn around, mid-travel, and go and pick it up (in extremely heavy traffic). To my benefit, I got to spend an unexpected extra hour talking to my first companion, in only her very sexy lingerie, while we waited for the rest of her outfit to arrive.

This was a ‘double dinner-date’, and after our hour-delay ‘fashion incident’, we had a great dinner and then retired to the hotel room. It was a wonderful evening, and not cursed beyond the fashion and traffic gods, other than one point, that is a comment on double bookings in general. As a ‘talkative client’, the sexual aspect of doubles is highly appealing, while at the same time the one-on-one intimacy is reduced – it is a weird effect for someone who is there for more than just the sex.

I had a great time, although I doubt that my ‘best contribution’ did anything more than get this amazing pair of women into ‘first gear’, if you can understand my meaning. They were very kind and attentive, but this was hardly the reenactment of a three-way porn scene, and that is all down to me – they are proven performers, I was the weakest link. That isn’t to say I wanted anything more, I was very happy with the sexual aspects of the evening – I’m just saying that it was all probably pretty ‘vanilla’ for my experienced guests.

I was left thinking that two separate dinner dates with these wonderful women, would perhaps have been a better outcome and fit, with the type of client that I am. My last meeting with one of these amazing escorts was that night, and I have seen the other escort on one occasion since. That is mostly a function of geography (I hope) and I believe that I am still a welcome client of both of these amazing escorts – but that wouldn’t support my story of woe. So let’s just say for now, the pathways with each escort are separate, and I am still to see one of my amazing companions from that night again, yet!

Doubles encounter four.

My journey returns to an adored regular. Another extended double, this time a lunch-date and then an afternoon together. We had been floating the idea of a double around for a while, it was to be with the preferred doubles partner of my long-standing companion. I arranged a ‘coffee-date’ for an initial meeting, and that went amazingly well, we got along famously as I knew we would. How could we not, given the shared connection, and how well I’m sure this escort ‘chooses’ all of her contacts and friends.

The lunch-date came, and lunch was magnificent. It was natural, fun, great food, company and ambiance – just an absolutely perfect start. We retired to the room and everything felt great, my escort companions started to undress – this was going to be the perfect day!

Just as I put my phone down and switched it to silent, starting to get undressed myself, a call came in. In the next half-an-hour, a complete melt-down at work occurred, this external disaster included the loss of my biggest ever work contract. I returned to my companions, with half-an-hour of the booking lost, and I struggled as valiantly as I could to maintain a mood of celebration and keep the terrible ‘work news’ out of my mind. My partners for the day did a great job, and it was still a wonderful booking, it just had the edge taken away from it by external events. So the curse is about more than the booking, in this case, it felt like the universe was conspiring against me as well – of course I’m joking, but the timing could not have been worse.

There is a real potential ‘curse’ element to doubles bookings however, one that is worth considering, if as nothing more than a tale of caution. Some of my Twitter contacts, knowing that I was about to write this article, suggested that I include, “what happens if you like the third-person more than your original escort companion?” Well that would be a problem, but it is not one that I can talk too from personal experience – that dynamic hasn’t happened to me yet.

What I can say however, is that I really, really, really like the companion who joined us that day – she is smart, beautiful, fun and lovely in every way. I would love to see her again, separately and in doubles, however so far, other than the coffee date, that is the only time that I have seen her. The partner that joined us for the day is one of the escorts that I think about when I’m in the mood I describe in ‘Single Booking Sadness’. There is a trap, curse, or consequence of a doubles booking that opens up this conundrum of ‘when is the right time’ to see someone introduced to you as part of a doubles booking. I still see my regular companion as often as I can, I would like to re-live this double experience again without the world outside collapsing, but I would also like to see the companion that joined us – unfortunately, you can’t have it all. This is another different curse, the curse of the spoilt client!

Doubles encounter five.

This encounter is still pretty fresh and painful. My fifth double was at the suggestion of another regular, who had previously recommended the other escort to me as a ‘stand-alone’ companion, when I was visiting another distant city. I had seen both escorts on a number of occasions, and I was very close to both of them, perhaps ‘too close’ in many ways.

We ended up in the same city for the first time, and my original companion made the doubles suggestion. This was to be a lesbian-double and they had long history and experience together. It was also going to be a chance for them to ‘teach me’ some new skills in the bedroom – something I was looking forward too. I don’t think of myself as a good lover, but part of my journey is trying to learn more and become a better sexual companion.

The plan was to see one of these wonderful women for a dinner booking one night, and then the other companion for an overnight the following evening. During the overnight on the second evening, after dinner, the companion from the first evening was to join us for a couple of hours in a lesbian double. I know complicated, still with me?

It was great, but even at the time something didn’t feel quite right. I still don’t know exactly what happened, but after the double, for the rest of the overnight, my companion was distant and we had no further sexual connection. We had a long history, a lot of past bookings and a very open dialogue. Since that evening, our conversation quickly moved to a ‘separation’ as client and escort and an ending of communication. Although there are real reasons and no doubt she is as upset with me as I am with her, I don’t think either of us understands exactly what happened, and why the wedge grew so quickly. As a result, I have not seen either companion since, although I hope that in the other case, it is purely a result of geography. In fact since the first publishing of this article, we have made arrangements to catch up again soon.

I have very strong feelings for my companions in this instance. I hope that in the case of the ‘ended’ connection, that her journey from here is wonderful. I hope that being on that journey without any connection to me is what she wants and what is best for her. I don’t feel that it is best for me, and I am still hurting about the conclusion of our long journey together. However if you care for someone, you want the best for them, even if you are not part of their story anymore. I don’t blame any aspect of the double for this, but it was a catalyst and it was also coincidentally the last time that we met. So I believe as I have stated already, that when it comes to doubles, I may very well be cursed by coincidence if not by the bookings themselves!

Doubles encounter six.

Since I wrote the first version of this article, I have two more threesome booking stories to tell. This story, ‘double encounter six’ is a very, very big (and involved) story and I will no doubt be mentioning aspects of it in articles for a long time to come. In fact I already have a name for a future story about the booking itself – ‘Once In a Blue Moon’ – but you will have to wait for that article, I am not emotionally prepared or able to write about it in detail just yet.

I can’t even bring myself to write much about this at all right now. The simplest description is that it was my last booking with my longest standing regular. It was our twenty-first booking together. I love this person, you will know this if you have read ‘Loving an Escort’ and the stories, themes and feelings from our almost 100-hours spent together are spread everywhere throughout my blog articles. I know that I shouldn’t be in love with her, but I am, and these are some of the hardest paragraphs I have written yet since I started this blog. My longest standing escort connection has come to a close and this doubles booking, our twenty-first booking is also very likely to be our last booking together.

We didn’t end our journey because of the booking, nothing bad happened in the booking at all. My lovely companion had already told me that she was retiring. So unless my adored companion returns at some point in the future, this was coincidentally our last meeting. I am so very happy for her, I hope that the future is everything that she wants it to be, she deserves every great and wonderful thing!But I am heart-broken. The double wasn’t cursed, but it feels right now as though I am doubly cursed! It was a great, emotionally charged, long and wonderful double-booking, that also happened to mark the end of such a wonderful and treasured relationship. It is so hard not to feel, that in some way, this isn’t still a curse of sorts. I cannot begin to describe how much I am going to miss this amazing person.

Doubles encounter seven.

Changing the mood I hope, my final doubles encounter (for now) was wonderful. Another escort that I adore and I am seeing as frequently as I can, invited me to participate in a booking with one of her doubles partners. I think, it may have been in part, for her to prove to me that doubles are amazing bookings. Of course you can see that already, I am not cursed, all of these seven bookings have been amazing. I am just a spoilt, emotional and over-thinking person. It was just that they connect to strange events, coincidences and unfortunately, a little bit too often, the end of the line on escort connections – especially with some adored regulars. These bookings are connected to both joy and sadness, rather than any ‘curse’ – but of course I needed a title for the article, and I have had more ‘shit-go-down’ (it would seem), when it is connected to double’s bookings than with any other form of booking.

Back to this booking. Simply put it was great fun. I was surprisingly nervous, not sure why, but I eventually relaxed into a couple of hours of fun, some great sex, and time spent with two lovely, beautiful and engaging escorts. Since it was relatively recent, I can also say that I haven’t seen either of these escorts since. That suits the ‘numbers’ that I used at the start of this article for emphasis, but I hope that it both cases, there is a road ahead – I certainly enjoy the company of both of these wonderful women.

So what about the future? Doubles encounter number eight!

If you are wondering, yes, these stories are all completely true – from my perspective at least. Obviously details are left out, as this is meant as a journey and thought starter, not a ‘tell-all’ revelation – as that is something that I would never do. Please be kind to me and the honesty I have shown, I know I am flawed, and I know that I am the one common connection – so without doubt, this is all my doing, where there are negatives in these stories, they are all entirely my fault.

There are fourteen wonderful escorts in these stories, and they really are all wonderful. Please don’t infer anything about them – they are all professional, all lovely, and any client would be privileged to meet any single one of them. I am so glad that I got to meet them, and despite anything you may read into this article, I would not give one of those bookings back – I am so humbled and privileged to have met them. That they allowed me to be a client when they did was a gift. Those that still see me as a client – well that is a gift beyond words.

As for the future, I am still just a little ‘gun shy’. I have had a booking with a wonderful escort who is a doubles-partner with another regular of mine, I like them both enormously and of course I adore the regular in question. So far, I have been reluctant to put that ‘preparation’ into an actual doubles booking. Why? I am so concerned now that it could end another pathway with a regular who is extremely important too me – that I don’t know if I can take that risk. I am angry at myself for being ‘risk averse’, as that is not normally me, and I know if I stop taking risks, that may have its own negative consequence.

I guess that makes this a great place to stop this article. Do you think I’m cursed? Do you think I’m an asshole? Do you think I should book this double and stop acting like a coward? Most of all, what do you think about doubles, and what stories would you like to add or tell? We all know that I am not cursed – I am a very, very lucky client.

Right now however, I am struggling with the end of my longest and deepest escort connection. I wish her all the best and thank the other people who continue to support me, see me and care for me.

Thank you for your readership. Please respect my anonymous companions for this (at times) very difficult and emotional story to write. Please also comment, share and discuss if you feel inclined. Thanks also to Carla, Amber, Marco and Debauched for their comments on the initial version of this article.

Xx SP 5 May 2017 (article updated 4 June 2017).