Client-Escort Karma

The impact of trading emotion for money – risks of burn out!

Trading Intimacy for Money has some Balancing Problems!

Money buys food, food lets you expend energy, energy lets you earn money, money buys you more food! That is the modern-day ‘hunter-gatherer’ cycle. In a similar way, escorts give clients intimacy, sex and companionship – an emotional ‘deduction’ – and in return receive a monetary payment. What happens when the ’emotional deductions’ add up? You can’t go without food forever, and you can’t go without emotional sustenance forever either!

This is going to be a very special and unusual article for me (Percie Blakeney), as the idea, and the co-authorship, go to a currently working escort that wishes to remain anonymous. This is a client and an escorts opinion – it is a co-written piece – and the entire credit for the idea goes to the escort, who like many escorts, suffers from an emotional deficit after giving so much emotional support to her clients!

MorningMessage

The ‘Swiss-Cheese’ or ‘Cookie-Cutter’ Effect.

My co-writer first noticed a particular ’emotional deficit’ effect after 6-months of escorting. Later, after discussions with other escorts, she found that the problem was common place. The offering of ‘companionship’ and authentic emotional support to clients, without a similar ’emotional credit’ coming back the other way, was leading to emotional problems and a sense of being ‘burned out’ by the constant giving. This giving may result in a financial return (earning a living), but you can only give so much of yourself without finding avenues for replacement, rejuvenation, refreshment and personal recharging. We all need emotional sustenance!

An Escort’s Example (from My Co-Author).

I came to escorting quite late in life and with great determination to make it work for financial reasons. I also gained a regular clientele very quickly including some very emotionally challenging clients. It has been said to me, that the experiences I have had, could send even a more experienced lady around the twist. However they have also allowed me great financial freedom so I am not complaining but simply noticing a particular personal effect.

I am by nature a very empathetic person, to a degree that is sometimes to my detriment. When confronted by a person hurt or in need, my natural instinct is to give of myself in both a practical and emotional sense. In my real life, this has left me hurt and in some very poor personal situations, it has impacted my life path significantly. Despite this, I still believe firmly in empathy and love as the two most powerful forces in the world. For the long term good of humanity, these are the two forces with the power to take us to better times.

As I began to escort I was struck by how many stressed and tightly wound up men walked through my door. I noticed how they walked in stressed and tense and I could actually make them relax and ease their state of mind quite deliberately with a calm manner, a cool drink, calming music, lighting and ears, above all ears. You may facetiously say it was boobs and bum that helped, but no I believe that it is the listening and nurturing, the caring and giving, that gives the most relief and calming influence to these men.

The intimacy created by the exchange of conversation leads to a far greater physical intimacy. In the beginning I noticed so many of these men were talking about deeper feelings for me and I wasn’t sure what was happening. I was overwhelmed. Several situations got out of hand emotionally and caused distress. I would feel and still do feel these waves of connection and empathy as I soothed and satisfied my visitors and I realised in time that each of them was taking a cookie cutter and making vacuous holes in my soul. My ‘soul’ was having pieces slowly taken from it, in the analogy of a ‘cookie cutter’ or ‘Swiss cheese’.

The ‘Out-Of-Balance’ Transaction!

I was giving to these clients, but only in rare cases was any care taken in return for my emotional needs. This is understandable as I was being paid for a service. But the thing was that I was giving emotionally in a very real sense, I had little or nothing in the way of barriers or emotional protection around me. I didn’t know how to have barriers. Every man was taking ‘cookie cutter size shapes’ out of me until I was more empty than full, just like a sheet of cookie dough once the biscuits are stamped out.

This left me, and has left other escorts I have spoken to, feeling hollow and needing replenishing. This awful feeling of neediness, which is perhaps one of the most dangerous places for an escort mentally, builds and builds over time. We look around for the emotional replenishment that we seek, tenderness, a kiss on the forehead, slow tender and giving sex, and sometimes it places us in the line of sight of manipulative clients who can take even more emotionally from our deplenished reserves.

Clients who play on this emotional neediness can be very dangerous. I believe this is where sadly some ‘at risk’ escorts lose the battle with their mental health. It takes great strength to reflect on this effect, and to see clearly what is happening to yourself emotionally. To take stock and learn, to be a giving empathetic companion, who is able to open the gates of intimacy and then close them again, and find ways to recharge and rebuild the spirit and keep operating within a healthy mental state.

Ways of Operating.

Many surf on the top of these waves successfully with a more emotionally superficial connection to clients. Those of us who dive beneath the waves into murky waters of genuinely loving connections, we can quickly gain very devoted clients and grow our business, but we also run the risk of this emotional cookie cutter syndrome. If we (escorts) allow ourselves to be become emotionally drained, then we can become so empty, that the hollowness makes us look for emotional solutions where they do not lie.

Client and Industry Responsibilities.

When you next see an escort, remember that if she is a certain type of private escort whose is deeply conversing and connecting, she is opening her soul on a certain level to you. Remember that she is vulnerable, not physically or because she is weak but because she is giving and loving. The emotional things that the client needs, endorsement, companionship, care, listening, connection, she is giving those of herself and may need some element of them in return. No one can give away their emotional reserves in this way forever without reciprocation and recharging.

Remember that as you enjoy from her the things that you need, sexual release, a shoulder to cry on, listening ears to hear your troubles, and arms to absorb your tension, remember to give back a little. Remember this is not simply a financial transaction, on a certain level it is an emotional exchange between two human beings, and to be the best it can be, it must be a two way exchange.

This article is one escorts story and one clients retelling and endorsement of what happens in the more emotional connections that occur in this industry, within this secret world. The opinion is that of a successful escort and it resonated deeply for me, so I felt it was something that might be meaningful for other clients and escorts as well. As you can imagine this was a difficult and emotional piece to write, so please respect my guest co-author’s anonymity in relation to this article and the opinions expressed here.

As always, thanks so much for your readership. Comments, feedback and sharing are greatly appreciated.

Xx SP 26 June 2017 (with humble thanks to my co-author).

Friends and Lovers

The complexity of friendship in a client-escort relationship.

What makes up a ‘Girlfriend Experience’ (GFE) booking?

This is not really an article for clients new to seeing escorts. Consider this more of a conceptual client-escort article on dynamics that happen over time. Everyone’s experiences are different, so maybe the concepts here might create some controversy or disagreement. The premise is pretty simple, ‘Girlfriend Experience’ (GFE) bookings contain two key components – sex and friendship that are extremely different dynamics.

Most escort’s detail their sexual offering in ‘services’ and this is usually a key booking discussion point. In this particular post, I am focusing on the far more problematic and complex area of companionship – or let’s be more honest, the part of the purchase that is about friendship – real or pretend.

Cocktails

Classes of client-escort friendship.

Why do I take escorts on dinner dates? Probably because I am interested in the connection and ‘friendship’ as much, OK even more than the sex. So in a ‘Girlfriend Experience’ (GFE) proposition, hardcore sex is traded for contact, companionship, conversation and some element of pretend, or real, friendship. If clients and escorts get into emotionally compromised and hurtful territory, it is far more likely to be connected to the friendship elements than the sex.

Most clients understand that escorts are having sex with many other clients. Most escorts understand that a certain group of their clients are seeing many escorts. Few in my experience have trouble with this scenario. When you swap the words and say some escorts are making friends with many clients, and some clients are making friends with many escorts – then this scenario is one that a fair number of escorts and clients are not as prepared to deal with emotionally. The sex is for sale, but human connection and friendship is not. Although there are many levels with this, it is the minefield of the ‘Girlfriend Experience’ within the sex work industry, and one that I have already discussed in a number of blog posts on this website.

Five types of ‘client-escort’ friendships.

So with this article, more than all the others before it, I want to start a discussion. I am even hoping to see some controversy and disagreement. Again, from my own limited experience, I am going to put the ‘connection’ part of escort companionship, the GFE relationship, into five categories. I believe that you can class both escorts and clients in these groups, although the percentages and behaviours vary depending on whether you are provider or purchaser. Here they are …

Ghosts – this group disappear between bookings. There is no ‘companionship’ offered outside of the booking environment. This may be a great thing, it may be an awful thing, it depends on which group you are in, and whether you need ‘connection’, companionship and friendship outside of the booking itself. Many mainly PSE providers and very successful and super-busy escorts fall into this category. Many occasional and silent (invisible) clients are also in this category – this can be a low maintenance and highly valuable group if both of you – client and escort – are ghosts. I actually aspire to be a ghost, unfortunately for me at the moment, I’m in the class of needy clients that desire a message of reinforcement and friendship between bookings.

Scalpers – this group want to ‘add another scalp’ to their list. You may think that this is only a certain class of clients who want to see lots of escorts only once. You would be wrong. There are also escorts who want to ‘list’ certain ‘punters’. They want to showcase dates, gifts and in some cases, the lonesome friendship cries of some of the most needy clients to their peers as some sort of competition or proof of their escorting skill. It is very disappointing that this thinking exists in the minds of both clients and escorts and it is very hurtful to others not of the same mind or ‘industry as a game’ thinking.

Actors – an obvious skill for escorts and a questionable one for clients, is the idea of ‘acting’ as a companion and friend for the commercial outcome of the escort-client transaction. This is where the model normally starts for an escort – make a client feel good, not only sexually but in terms of attention, conversation, companionship, listening and other aspects of friendship. This is an understandable, and when it is well handled even a highly agreeable part of the service. It is strange however if a client feels they need to ‘act the friend’ either for game-playing, negotiating or some other strange motivation. I have no issue with escort ‘actors’, if I fall for the act, then well played to you my escort companion – especially if the overall experience is amazing. It is going to hurt in some circumstances (maybe later as a repeat client), but that is the risk of buying a Girlfriend experience – if I wanted a ‘real girlfriend’, then this isn’t the place to start and it is entirely a ‘buyer beware’ scenario.

Friends – if an escort and client have developed a relationship over time (repeat and regular bookings in particular), then some form of friendship is possible. Every long-standing escort probably has some co-working escort friends and possibly some client friends as well. Every long-standing client may also have some escort and even other journeying client friends as part of the experience. The cynic would say that this is almost impossible to know, until the ‘business part’ of the relationship has been retired. I have ‘placed’ some of my escort relationships in this ‘holy grail’ category to find that they were actually consummate ‘Actors’, and unfortunately in some cases even ‘Stalkers’. The ones that remain, I truly honestly hope that they remain friends – not best friends, just friends, after our booking days are over – I guess I am going to find out eventually, and I guess the number is going to be small, and maybe even zero. Sadly some escorts I viewed as friends have disappeared already.

Stalkers – last of all is when it gets out-of-hand. The connection, desired connection or some other element, takes it from healthy to unhealthy. A mismatched relationship where one person becomes obsessed with the other and acts upon this obsession. There are so many emotions, feelings and experiences in the mix here, and lets face it, many of us are needy, it happens that someone goes too far and moves into an obsessive mode (I am lumping all obsessive behaviours here together as stalkers). Escorts experience this far more than clients, but it happens in reverse too. It isn’t a pleasant place to be, knowing that someone is obsessed with you and not knowing what that means or how far they will go. It actually happens far more than people admit, escorts and clients have both told me very concerning recounts of experiences in this class of dangerous and needy obsession. Some are very scary indeed!

So what does it all mean?

Well once again I am big on setting the scene and unfortunately short on solutions. I really don’t have the answers. Stalkers are scary as hell. Friends are desired, but often an illusion and even more so in this ‘purchased intimacy’ environment, where acting ‘connected and friendly’ should really be added to most escort’s service list. If you are a ghost or are happy with an ‘acted experience’ then you, my wonderful amazing friend, are on a glorious ride. If you, like me, hope to find a few friends along the journey, then get ready for disappointment. For me, disappointment is fast becoming a friend all on its own, but I will find you – my friend – and we will beat the odds. In the mean time, I am happy with the escort that can act up a storm, but I wish I could better avoid the scalpers and the stalkers.

Thoughts, opinions and experiences please. This time, with this level of controversy, there must be some of you who want to debunk my romanticism or shoot down my unproven logic from some more experienced perspective or point of psychological science. I hope at least this made you think.

Xx SP 28 March 2017 (article updated 16 May 2017).

Post-Booking Melancholy

Coming down from the high of seeing an escort.

Seeing an escort was wonderful – so why am I so sad?

What goes up, must come down. A useless saying, but in a sense it can be the simple truth of the emotional roller-coaster that we all ride.

I have chosen the word ‘melancholy’ to describe the mood that can follow an escort booking. Meaning a period of reflective sadness with no obvious cause, it is a feeling that I experience all too often. It is also one that both clients and escorts speak about, as we move between the awesome highs, and low lows of this amazing escort-client world. The phenomenon of ‘post-booking melancholy’.

CloudsRollIn

When the clouds roll in.

My bookings with escorts are one of the great joys in my life. Making a booking, the sense of anticipation in the lead-up to the meeting, that moment of meeting someone for the first-time are all adrenaline raising experiences. Other strong emotions appear when we reconnect with an adored regular, and of course the bookings themselves are all experiences that those of us who know them, feel sorry for the rest of the world that doesn’t. A client-escort booking is an amazing high, that builds, has a crescendo, and then a relatively hard landing as the real-world comes flooding back in to our ‘muggle’ lives.

Why do the French call an orgasm – ‘Le Petite Mort’?

The ‘Little Death’ can refer to the spiritual release that comes with orgasm and a feeling of melancholy or transcendence somewhat likened to death, or the death of a little part of us inside and the expenditure of life force. The whole ebb and flow of an escort booking can be considered in a similar way, with the peak at the booking and a ‘little death’ afterwards. As mentioned in previous articles, a post-booking contact of reinforcement can be similar to a hug or kiss or sign of affection after orgasm – one way of reducing the ‘little death’, but with or without that, a little part of you dies and the clouds roll in after the sun is gone.

Why purchases make us feel ecstatic and depressed simultaneously?

The wonderful Wikipedia will tell you that ‘Buyer’s Remorse’ or ‘post-purchase depression’ after major purchases comes “from a fear of making the wrong choice, guilt over extravagance, or a suspicion of having been overly influenced by the seller”. I guess these can certainly apply to the escort-client transaction, however in the case of this unique purchase, I would restate these three factors in the following ways …

The ‘gap’ until the next ‘high’.

The wrong choice is not a factor in melancholy for me. The whole ‘choice’ element has a different flavour, when the booking goes well, it is about ‘how long until I can meet this escort again’ and relive this wonderful experience. Since the reality is, like the day after Christmas, the moment straight after the booking is also the longest distance from the next booking – the next high. One way to reduce this cause of sadness is to ‘lock-in’ the next booking, as then the length of time is set and you have something to ‘look forward to’, and the escort also knows that you appreciated the last booking.

Spending money and financial constraints.

The guilt over extravagance is also not a factor as such. I am always conscious that I am a very fortunate person (although from humble beginnings) and being able to do what I do, being able to afford independent escorts on a relatively frequent basis already makes me both fortunate and extravagant. This guilt isn’t ‘post-booking’ it is ongoing and material for a future article, but for me it is not a part of the post-booking ‘down’ mood. I would imagine, that if I was not able to afford to see a wonderful escort for an extended period of time, or the booking resulted in some financial hardship, then this may well be a factor contributing to melancholy. Maybe in a way I feel guilty that this isn’t a regret factor for me.

The pain of choice and the rejection of alternate pathways.

Finally a ‘suspicion of being over influenced by the seller’ is an intriguing factor that I want to cover around both ‘seller influence’ and ‘suspicion’. Firstly ‘seller influence’ as it would translate to the choice on ‘who to book’. The choice is mine and if I allow that to be influenced, then the fault is mine if I am unhappy or fooled by the influence. So I understand this could be a factor, but for me it is about something else, it is about loyalty, opportunity, rejection and self-doubt.

After a great booking, I wonder about when I will see that wonderful escort next, however I also wonder about how long it will be until I see some other escorts that I feel strong connections with as well. This whole complicated ‘when and who’ conundrum is fraught with angst and emotion. Every choice made seems to close the door on all of the other scenarios and I feel some subtle distress, I guess we can call it melancholy, at this pain of ‘selection’.

Put another way, there are a few escorts I would see as much as I could and some others I really want to see again at some stage. Every booking is a choice that includes one of those pathways being fulfilled and all of the others being rejected. I know ‘rejected’ is a harsh word, but it explains the weird guilt and deprivation that I feel. Guilt in choosing one escort over another and deprivation in not being able to fulfill all of my selfish personal desires. The moment after the enjoyment of one booking is when both the guilt and deprivation are at their strongest. In a way, the pain of choice is also brought back into the picture as the certainty of a ‘single booking’ moment in time concludes and choices once again have to be made.

My insecurities get their moment.

So finally suspicion. I hope that this is just a reflection of my personal insecurities and weaknesses, I fear however that it is a shared human condition. In the ‘time bubble’ of a booking, there is a purity of place, time and emotion, the perfect chance to get out of one’s own head and shut those demons up for a brief and wondrous moment in time.

In the time that passes afterwards, I doubt myself, I doubt the moment, my insecurities re-assert themselves and the darker voices tell me that it wasn’t as good as it felt, the moment was a lie, my part is done and I am rightfully forgotten. I suspect that I am not as special as I felt, that the escort despises me as another tragic, entitled, middle-aged buffoon. Worst of all, I wonder if I am ignorant of the lies I tell myself.

It is easy to listen to the negative.

The perverse irony of the universe is that the stronger the high from the booking, or the closeness I have with the escort, the stronger my subsequent insecurity is likely to be. This is as honest as I can be, a window to everyone that the ‘apparent strength of a successful middle aged man’ is all a facade, there is a little boy cowering behind the curtain hoping that someone, somewhere, actually likes him just a little and thinks about him without disgust. If any reason existed for me to stop seeing escorts entirely it is because of this easy to trigger insecurity. I have stopped seeing some escorts under circumstances where I couldn’t suspend my disbelief anymore, because the evidence of disdain was too strong. These escort break-ups are their own special form of ‘Le Petite Mort’, killing me a little inside each time, because in my mind I am that same worthless person that they see.

Wow, that was full-on!

So, not wanting to end this article in the depths of ‘post-booking melancholy’, what can we do about it if it exists for more people than just me. Firstly book ahead, the process of making a booking can re-start the pathway toward another ‘sunny day’ and build a sense of positive anticipation. Tell the escorts that you care about how special they are, this may not rid all the guilt of loyalty and selection, but hopefully it is good for the sender and a pleasant thing for the receiver. Try to hear the messages of love, worth, support and value and dismiss the negative ones, whether they are from others or the more insidious ones we tell ourselves. Send communications, I know that I’ve said it before to what has been mixed reception, but as long as discretion, privacy, security, marketing and business conditions are met, send post-booking communications to reduce ‘the little death’.

The escort perspective?

I have also been told that many escorts feel this same post-booking sensation at times and with certain clients. If you have been reading my articles, you know I am reluctant to (read as: will never) say anything on behalf of escorts, but I think the important point here is that it’s better to treat escorts as though they feel the same emotional roller-coaster than it is to treat them as having resolved these feelings and as a result don’t feel any emotion toward their client. I would rather try and do no harm and ‘believe’ what I felt, than protect my heart from ‘dying a little’ when I discover those distressing instances where I really was just an another anonymous punter with a payment.

I was just not built to be cynical or harsh and would rather be hurt than cause hurt, for me that is a far better way to walk through life. I am interested in client and escort perspectives, but remember this one is just my own, one boy behind a curtain.

Thank you for your readership. I look forward to any comments and feedback and appreciate any sharing of these articles.

Xx SP 23 March 2017 (article updated 14 May 2017).

Single Booking Sadness

A view on ‘one-night’ stands between clients and escorts.

Why did he only book me once?

I wonder if some escorts I have only booked once, may have been left questioning, what went wrong? Where did he go? So this blog article is about what happened to make our booking an orphan.

I hope that escorts don’t think back to ‘single-bookings’ with any melancholy, confusion or sadness. I sure do! I actually feel reminiscent and sad about these ‘lonely moments’ fairly regularly. The longer that I have been a client, the more I think about missed pathways and why no one discusses: Why did it only happen once?

QldBeach

The ‘one-night-stand’ of the escort-client world.

In my mind, these single-bookings are sad little orphans. Moments that happened once and never led to a sequel. They are rarely spoken about, and in my opinion are more common within the companion (escorting) segment of the sex industry. Why? In my view it is because escorting is about far more than sex, it is also about connection and companionship. After sharing a short intense period of intimacy, it would be reasonable to wonder: Why was there no follow-up booking?

As you may know from this blog, most of my escort bookings are longer ones, primarily dinners. Sometimes I book an escort for a short ‘first meeting’, although on many occasions it is straight to dinner. That means that although it is ‘paid’ and a business exchange, it is also a dinner date. The ‘paid part’ means that it is the client (for these stories me) who didn’t ask for a second date, and it would be reasonable for the escort to have wondered why, especially when everything went so well.

Of course no one asks and no one tells – it can be a lonely and painful industry for both worker and client. So this is my chance, in a very general way, to explain why we ‘dated once’ and never saw each other again.

So what are the reasons?

I found this article fairly hard to write and more emotional than I expected, as some of these meetings are still very strong memories. I won’t talk numbers or specifics, but some detail may be required. Firstly, I can say with hand-on-heart, that I have not had any terrible escort bookings, so it is never from regret over the first booking. Although the strength of connection and enjoyment of each individual experience may vary significantly, I have never been in the position of wishing that I had never booked a particular escort. Every experience was welcomed and positive!

In a way that is one of the reasons this is awkward and difficult, no escort should think that they didn’t create a quality booking – at least none that I have met so far. So the reasons are less logical, more personal, more experiential and in many cases as accidental as deliberate. So what happens to make a booking the beginning and the end?

Ships passing in the night!

One set of reasons for a single date are geographic, and other logistical barriers that reduce the frequency of opportunity to see a particular escort. Seeing an escort while on tour or when the client is traveling can make it harder for subsequent bookings as the opportunities have to re-align. Almost half of the escorts I have only seen on only one occasion were because they were on tour or I was in an uncommon location. I would see many, at least half of these ‘time and place’ opportunistic bookings again, if the chance presented itself again.

The sad thing is that I don’t really keep in contact with most of this group of escorts, as not knowing when I might see these wonderful women again makes me reluctant to use up their time in social media, emails or texts. So in the end, the half that I would see again, didn’t get any more feedback on our evening together than the half that I don’t plan on seeing again. One person in particular, in a city I rarely get to visit, is oblivious to how much I liked her, the the amazing quality of our evening together, and how much I would like to see her again if the stars were to align. It would be nice to be able let these escorts know how well the booking went, but without the evidence of a follow-up booking such messages seem hollow and unbelievable.

How important is post-booking contact?

So just as an escort may think ‘where did that client go’, after feeling that a booking went well, clients (or at least I) often end up with the same post-booking doubts and questions. What I’ve noticed in putting this article together is that I have a number of ‘once-only’ bookings that I felt were magnificent. I thought we had a great time, the connection was strong and we both said things that felt like we would see each other again.

When I compare some people I’m still seeing with the ones that I haven’t re-booked since, one of the big differences is ‘post-booking contact’. I always send something (text or private message) that is meaningful and true as a thank-you for the booking. The escorts that later returned a communication, saying something meaningful and positive, for example re-enforcing how the booking experience felt, are confirming and endorsing the connection.

Rightly or wrongly, a positive post-booking response from an escort, sends a subtle signal that a re-booking request would be welcomed. No response, or a very ‘luke-warm’ one, sends a different signal – the signal that a request for a re-booking may not be as welcomed. It should be no surprise to anyone that escorts I never heard from again, especially after a follow-up message of my own went cold, have not heard back from me.

It is a subtle emotional thing, but really believing that the ‘moment’ together was good often takes a message of reinforcement in the ‘cold, hard light of day’. Of course this is subject to discretion and privacy, the care of not breaking confidences, and largely I am talking about responding to a client’s ‘post-booking’ message or once it is know that corresponding is safe and welcome.

Whether there is any actual difference, or whether this is just good marketing, at the end of the day doesn’t matter. Being contacted made me feel good, being ignored made me feel bad. The being ignored removed, or placed significant doubt, on the feelings of ‘how special the booking was’ and discouraged me from making a re-booking request. There are a few still memorable instances, where one kind word after the booking would have made me arrange a second booking, but they are now on my list of ‘one-time’ connections.

Failure to connect.

Sometimes we just fail to click. It could be the circumstances, a bad day or it is just not meant to be. We are not meant to get along with everyone. As I mentioned, I don’t have any disasters, but there are some meetings that didn’t go so well and once was enough. If an escort felt this way too, it would be more than fair for her to ‘signal’ that she didn’t want to see me again, by ignoring any communication and not reinforcing anything positive from the date. This is some of the subtle signalling that escorts and clients use with each other, it would be sad of course if better connections evaporated due to some missed chance to communicate.

A long-time between drinks.

The final group in my experience (so far), are the escorts that I would like to see again, but haven’t as yet. In my case, that list is not large but it does exist. There are some escorts I have seen and I have every intention of seeing again, but some time has passed since our first meeting. The reasons are varied, just like any plan that is taking a while to make happen. This is a difficult scenario too, as it is hard to keep ‘lines of communications’ open with somebody that you aren’t ready to re-book just yet. It is easy to look like a ‘time waster’, even if you have seen someone before, if there is a long-time between drinks, literally!

Constant dialogue seems awfully like time-wasting and is difficult for both parties. No communication is also terrible for the obvious reasons. So the longer this gap goes on, the harder it is, in some respects, to go back for the sequel. How do you explain that you want to re-book, but it may be many months before that chance comes. In some ways, you just have to treat this like the other ‘one-time’ bookings that never moved on – until it is time to make that second booking. This has its own issues as both of you know it will also be likely that a third and subsequent booking are also going to have long time gaps in between them.

How do we fix these dilemmas?

I doubt that there is a solution and in addition to the scenarios above, are other types of clients including those who only want to see any escort they meet once. My suggestions are that escorts who had a good time with a client – let them know, make them feel good, and maybe they will be more likely to re-book. For clients, give the escort positive feedback even if it sounds hollow or has significant time gaps. For all of us, realise that just because it only happened once, doesn’t mean that it wasn’t great. I have some very fond memories of some of my ‘escort one-night stands’.

Thank you for your readership. I hope you remember some of your single bookings fondly. Your sharing, comments here and on Twitter and any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Xx SP 21 March 2017 (article updated 13 May 2017).