What Went Wrong?

Escort bookings have plenty of chances to go wrong!

Escort bookings make speed-dating look simple!

The first five minutes of a first escort booking are intense by any standard. Even if there has been plenty of preliminaries – screening, communication and deposits, it is still two people meeting each other for the first time – meeting to have sex.

There is so much that can go wrong. Even if the first booking is a huge success, every subsequent encounter is still intense, and the chance of something negative happening is greater than in most other human interactions. Often one of the people is left wondering – what the hell happened, what went wrong?

The pathway to rapid intimacy – stage one.

In those first five minutes you could fill an entire novel. The client is appraising his booking for the first time in real life, and if they are a decent client, they are trying to complete all the preliminaries and make the Escort feel at ease.

I assume at the same moment, the Escort is assessing safety, payment, venue (if an outcall), as well as the same human appraisal summations as the client – all in rapid time. Adrenaline and heart rates are high, time slows, nerves show through and not everything is taken in and absorbed – at least by me. Yet despite this, I think I know how it is going to go – good or bad – within the first 30-seconds. Humans are amazing at this early assessment stuff really.

I try and handle the payment immediately, with a hotel room tour, drink offer and light chat, all within the first minute. Then I try and give the Escort some space for her booking process, counting the money, texting security and whatever else she needs in her own process of getting organised. Then I (we) try to slow the pace down to get relaxed. It is amazing when this feels in-sync and the early chat is light, funny and pleasant. That is always a good sign.

First bookings with a chatty and open client.

I am a largely open book, within reason. I try and share personal material and insights into ‘who I am’ as part of a rapid journey to personal intimacy. This has risks, and if it is not reciprocated (at least in part) when I encounter an Escort who is very closed, or ‘mechanical’, then I know we are probably not going to meet again. Even if the sex is good, as I have explained in other blog articles, I’m here for physical and mental intimacy.

For a client and escort who are both talkative, and sharing, even at a relatively safe and superficial level, the pathway to intimacy is faster than in any other meeting of two human beings (this is only my opinion of course). That is part of the appeal, part of the addiction, part of what makes this a different experience to the rest of the slower, darker, more boring regular world. It also brings a supercharged environment for things to go wrong.

The pathway to rapid intimacy – stage two.

Both the client and escort build a connection. A lot of this is based on personal experience, short-cuts and assumptions. In showing each other our ‘good-sides’ and then both building an intimate portrait of each other, neither party has really learned those long, hard, lessons of what the ‘red-flags’ are, the danger areas, the no-go zones, or where those ‘crazy’ little parts we all hide inside are lurking.

There is a minefield lurking between the unicorns and rainbows we show each other – ready to be triggered at any time. When the client’s bomb goes off, or the escort’s bomb goes off, the other one is probably going to say to themselves – what the fcuk just happened!

What traps are being set for destruction?

Is the connection too intimate or not intimate enough? Did something get said that triggered an old wound? Is the level of ‘neediness’ building a feeling of care or pity? Is the conversation connecting, repelling or too invasive? Is the physical side clumsy or cute, rough or effeminate? Are the areas being focused on erogenous or irritating? Are the aromas a turn-off or turn-on? There are just so many approaches, things, beliefs and behaviours that can build a connection or destroy it. In this fast race to intimacy, the number of traps left hidden, ready to destroy any building interpersonal connection are huge.

When a deal-breaker happens?

Whether it is one critical ‘deal-breaker’, or the build up of lots of small negatives, when either the Escort or the client decides ‘the bomb has gone off’, they are unlikely to tell the other person due to the ‘transactional’ and ‘momentary’ nature of client-escort connections. They are just going to decide that this booking is the last booking (unless it is a ‘red card’ walk-out-on-the-booking offence).

In many of these cases, the other person, client or escort, is unlikely to know any of the detail of what happened. Why, when a connection was being made (in their view) did the other person pull the pin? This is unfortunately very likely to happen in client-escort connections, because in the rapid race to intimacy, the speed of advancement skips a lot of these discussions and discoveries.

Once again, I don’t have any answers, I just want to get people thinking. If anything, my only suggestion is to be aware that this is a common thing, and also maybe consider sharing any feedback with someone you are feeling close to, or think may be feeling close to you. Rejection is hard, but unclear rejection can be worse.

Since the first version of this article, I have seen polls showing that honest criticism between clients and escorts is rare. This isn’t surprising, no one wants to hear that their ‘best representation’ in a booking has shortcomings. Often the client or escort just moves on, or more accurately away.

If your connection is something that you want to maintain, deciding if issues are worth exposing and attempting to resolve, is a hard decision. I have tried now, mentioning some issues that have arisen, on a couple of occasions. I feel bad mentioning anything, I am not sure I am entitled to do so, and I am fearful of the risks. The result is often complex, feeling like a step forward and backward at the same time. The reality of two people resolving an issue seems to diminish the fantasy of perfect escort-client relations. I still can’t say what the better approach is – honesty or fantasy?

Thank you for your readership. Your comments and feedback is greatly appreciated as is any promotion of my articles.

Xx SP 10 April 2017 (article updated 21 May 2017).

Perspective is Everything

Real escort dates as they look from different viewpoints.

The role of perspective on enjoying escort bookings.

I have been in a bit of a funk since December last year. For the first few months of this ‘low patch’, I unwittingly coloured some of my escort bookings with a ‘darker view’ when contrasted with those back in 2016, when I was in a happier place.

A recent personal scare, from someone in a far darker place than me, highlighted this negative outlook. I knew I had unkindly skewed perceptions, while I was caught in my own minor ‘down patch’. It started me thinking, have my dates been less exciting and positive, or have I just coloured them through my own dark lens. How important is perspective?

Perspective

Six date stories.

The following are all real escort bookings, they all occurred in early 2017, and nothing is made up, embellished or untrue. Of course I am keeping them general and unidentifiable, except that some of the people involved may be able to guess – but be careful, you may well be wrong. Plus remember I am trying to illustrate a point here.

Date One a four-hour lunch date that ended after only three-hours, with the escort leaving an hour early.

Date Two an overnight booking, it included the evening equivalent of a four-hour dinner date, but the next morning when we woke, there was no intimacy beyond a brief cuddle in bed.

Date Three a same morning cancellation by the escort of a long-planned four-hour lunch.

Date Four a four-hour lunch date where no items of clothing were removed for the entire date by either of us, the only intimacy was a few minutes of kissing.

Date Five a first booking, I left the high-quality room to the escort overnight for some impromptu doubles profile photos. I was slightly disappointed to never receive a thank-you or follow-up communication, despite seeing the photos turn up on a newly launched profile.

Date Six a long date that included attending an event. On the next-day, I was surprised to receive a demand from the escort for extra payment to cover missing another booking, as the social component of our long booking ran well over time.

My perspective on this ‘bad run’.

I felt that my wonderful run of 2016 had come crashing down and that 2017 was turning into a train-wreck. There are some other more ‘identifiable’ stories that I am leaving out, but let’s just say there were more than the six above, including some rather nasty incidents if all of the truth was told. Of course it wasn’t all disappointing booking stories, so let me tell you about six more 2017 bookings.

Six more date stories.

Date One was a wonderful first date with shared stories on our real-life professional areas, amazing intimacy and a very strong connection that was allowed by the escort to run overtime.

Date Two had so many elements to it, that it is hard to describe here. It was a complicated meeting to arrange, but the best parts of it are highly memorable and pleasing to recall for a wide range of reasons.

Date Three was a long-awaited catch-up with an escort that I am exceeding close with, it was unusual booking for both of us, but I believe our strong connection continues to grow even stronger.

Date Four was a first meeting that happened on a tragic public day, it was a wonderful date and was followed up at a future meeting that was thankfully free from external dramas.

Date Five was an agreed re-booking that led to me meeting one of the sweetest and most amazing people I have discovered. They continue to give me amazing support and I always enjoy seeing them immensely.

Date Six is with one of my long-term companions who later returned for a shared spa massage, some food and some lengthy relaxed conversation.

A change in perspective.

So you have probably worked the structure of this article out already. Both six date stories are exactly the same six bookings – with just their order mixed around. 

The points are all true, and either would be a reasonably accurate description of the booking. The first six date stories are the view of a person (me) who is in a poor frame of mind – feeling down and sorry for themselves.

The second view is the view of a person (the new me) who has re-examined the event, is in a better frame of mind and is really looking at the overall wonder of these bookings, rather than the small insecure doubts and ‘parts’ of the encounter that can play on the mind of someone in a dark place.

The very depressed perspective of someone very close to me, has been one of the triggers to make me rethink my own 2017 experiences, and realize that I am the person creating my own reality.

Perspective is everything!

We all go through ups and downs. Perhaps some of us are more inclined to positive perspectives and others to negative views.

I am not trying to change minds here, all I am saying, drawn from my own very recent experience is … if you go into a complicated human encounter – you know, a booking with an escort – and you are in a negative frame of mind, the world will look that way. If you can forgive the small incidents, errors and human idiosyncrasies and look at the overall picture, you may find, like I have, that with a different perspective life, your booking(s) and your human connections are all pretty good. I am changing my tune – 2017 is going to be great, hell, it already is!

An epilogue of sorts.

There are a few people (not mentioned here) that are also currently suffering from a ‘poor perspective’ of their own, and a couple of them still owe me a reassessment in the same manner as mine, and perhaps in some cases an apology when they are in a better place in their lives.

I’m not really worried about that. I have however also made regrettable choices in my own ‘down time’ and with the benefit of a changed perspective, there are some people that I have hurt. Hurt people hurt people. Happy people generally don’t. So while I was hurting in my own modest way, I did my share of damage. I have tried to remedy this, but to anyone I am still re-building with, and to one person in particular, I am sorry it took me this long to get back to a positive perspective – that has been your wonderful advice to me all along!

Thoughts and your experiences are both welcome. Please however don’t criticize any of the ‘dates’ above, none of these people deserve it, it really was my perspective on what was in every case a quality booking (that is why I choose them for illustration, because they all had something negative and so much more that was positive – it was all a matter of perspective).

Xx SP 18 March 2017 (article updated 11 May 2017).