Client Voices

Clients of the sex-work industry should be silent?

Who can talk about sex-work experiences?

This website is an unusual blog. It is the thoughts of one person, a single, middle-aged, white, Australian client of primarily independent female escorts. The rambling thoughts, but still the voice of a sole client from the privileged fringe of the sex-work industry.

I remain thrilled and amazed when someone comments, likes or reads my articles. I don’t expect anyone to pay them much attention, but I do have a view when people, mainly a small number of incensed escorts and other male clients, suggest that I should just shut-the-hell-up!

Who gets to speak at the table?

I see escorts for enjoyment, I guess that makes it a hobby. Some of the escorts I see are full-time, so I guess that makes them professionals. It is their career on the line when they talk, for me it is just an interest.

I have become, after hard work from humble beginnings, a wealthy, entitled, spoilt, lucky and largely protected middle-aged heterosexual white-guy, in a very lucky country. Escorts are by definition of societal exclusion and stigmas disadvantaged.

Many sex-workers are also disadvantaged by other societal constructions around gender, age, work and in some cases race, mental health and other disgracefully applied stereotypes. I am in a privileged position, most escorts are by comparison in a far less privileged position – it’s not a ‘level playing field’ as commentators would say if this was a comparison within business circles.

So I should ‘drop dead’, as I was so eloquently instructed by an escort via a Twitter Private Messages (PMs) just before I first wrote the first version of this article. I’m pretty sure that meant that I should silently buy that person’s services and never say anything, to anybody, about anything, ever! Clients should be seen and not heard?

So isn’t it good to hear a client perspective?

Apparently not, if a small and bitter group of escort voices are the social media and blog police. Even if I am aware and respectful of the dynamics I described above, I am apparently not welcome at the conversation table and certainly not, under any circumstances, allowed to speak about sex-work. The catch-cry is that “only sex-workers can speak about sex-work!

On one level I get the point, there are certainly aspects that only sex-workers can speak about with expertise, but do we suggest that only police can talk about police-work? Can only politicians talk about politics? You get the point, every group, individual, interest, participant and worker all have a voice and in a democracy they should all be able to be heard.

In this blog, I am not speaking for clients, I am certainly not speaking for sex-workers in any way at all, I am only speaking for me. This is a beneficial part of my experience and for the moment an important personal outlet. It is open to anyone who wants to read it, agree, disagree, comment or respond. It is nothing significant in the scheme of things, but it has every right to be part of the dialogue, just as everyone else’s voice does too.

So why are almost all clients and most escorts silent on social media?

There are very few social media active clients. The limited number who are participants in the public dialogue feel very limited in what they can say, and in most cases are reduced to banal sycophantic fan-boy content – re-posting, liking and generalised support.

Those that are more vocal either have very thick skin, have developed a wit and banter that allows them to survive, or are widely disliked around the industry. There are no real free voices. Maybe this is a good thing, but if so, why are most of the independent escorts quiet as well?

Censorship and peer pressure?

If you ignore social media that is only for basic escort marketing, peer support and notifications, then the majority of independent escorts are silent in public communication channels. Again not necessarily a bad thing, it’s more work for them to spend time in these channels after all, but what happens to those escorts that actually enjoy social media and stating their opinion and discussing experiences? What happens to them more specifically if they have a viewpoint that is slightly unusual or differs from that of many of their peers? Do they have a right to free speech or should they be silence by attack from others?

This more outspoken group that are still here are in rapid decline. Compared to two years ago, or a year ago, most active accounts are less active, post less and are more generic in the content that they publish. Those that are still ‘keeping it real’ with individual content and ‘god-forbid’ opinion, are often forced into defensive stances and other behaviours that are akin to being ‘under siege’. Who are they under siege from? It is certainly not the general public in this case.

The level of industry self-censorship is disconcertingly high and seems to be getting worse. I am going to end this train of thought here for your consideration – it is a matter of course for each participant, escort or client, individually to determine their own position. It is enough for me to say that I am staying, I hopefully won’t be ‘dropping dead’ anytime soon. With respect and admiration, I am going to continue to say what I think as it relates to my individual journey and demonstrates respect to all of the other participants – workers and their clients.

May 2018 article update.

With legislation changes in the USA that have had global impact, and with a changing world environment around news and truth, it seems things are getting worse if you want to speak about these topics.

It’s not just these changes, the industry and participants seem to be even more under siege, even more fearful, even more likely not to speak opinions, explore topics and try and share information, learning, experiences and fun. I don’t have any answers to this phase and the challenges everyone faces. The only thing I can do is continue to express my opinions, listen to others with respect and try and show everyone, governments and individuals, haters and friends, that free speech is important.

 

Thanks for your readership, thanks for sticking with me. I would love to continue to hear your views and comments. Thanks also to Jeff, Ad, Peter, BB and Bella who commented on the first version of this article.

Xx SP 5 April 2017 (article updated 21 May 2017 and again 30 May 2018).

My End of Summer

Saying goodbye to an escort that I love.

All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey …

My long, beautiful, magical summer has come to an end. Everyone remembers their first, but my first was no ordinary first. I met someone, by good fortune alone, that was my personal angel. An old, old soul, but a young spirit, and what is even better, she was a ‘dark angel’, who better to take me on a journey of adventure. A long, extended magical summer of love!

I don’t know if it is possible to fall in love at first sight, but when she first walked into my life, in her striped skirt and low-cut black top, I was unable to speak, transfixed and the image of that arrival is still burned into my mind. This somewhat shy, bubbly, giggling and strikingly beautiful young woman, with steel and determination underneath, put me at ease immediately. My love for her has grown ever since. It was always a stupid, foolish, impossible love, but it was and still is my love.

AutumnRoad2

Now it is over.

Behind me is a glorious summer of experiences with this amazing companion, thankfully it lasted a long time and for a while, I felt like it would never end. Now I stand looking at a colder, darker, less certain path ahead. I don’t have my ancient, soulful, dark angel to guide me with her light spirit and her joyous touch. In the past, her words and advice never failed to bring me happiness. Pushing me on to great experiences and profound joy. Now she is gone. I am not exaggerating the depth of these feelings, this period of time was perfection for me. Change often comes quickly, and my personal ‘summer’ with her is over.

From start to finish we had twenty-one bookings together, I know that isn’t a lot for some people, but it is for me. Almost one-hundred hours spent together in each other’s company, and other glorious exchanges and conversations in between, there was not a single bad minute. The only regrets I have are that I did not tell her how I felt more often, and as I was also learning, I made some mistakes that hurt my longest-lasting companion along the journey. She took my short-comings and my slip-ups in her stride, taught me, helped me, and most importantly forgave me – always with a softness and a grace that I hope I can learn to emulate one day.

What happened?

Her story is her own to tell, but it is a joyful end – she is moving on with her own journey in a positive way. Changing situations have brought our journey to a close and I am thankful that it is a happy parting. I can’t help but carry a broken heart at the moment – it comes from my own selfish loss of a connection that I had grown to depend upon far too much. Only now that it is gone, can I feel how deep it goes, it goes right to the core of my being. Those who know me, and some of you connected to me, you know that I have been a mess for a while – I am however moving forward in this new changed world, but at the moment, it is colder and darker one than before.

Others of you may see me as a tragic, naive and misguided figure. One of those lame, lonely punters who never got the joke, and fell for the illusions of the impossible, pretend fantasies that are created only within the confines of an escort booking. Stupidly thinking that something meaningful could remain outside of the paid experience. You are right – I am lonely, I am naive, and I am tragic. You can hate me if you want, that certainly does seem to be a thing that happens to me as a writer in this client-escort world, far more than I expected, but I am getting used to, even comfortable with that experience too. The good news for you, if you are upset by my illusion, is that this pathetic middle-aged man hurts, the escort is free, and there is no more annoying adoration that she has to handle from me. The ‘beauty’ is free and the ‘beast’ is locked in his own self-made cage.

If you are more sensitive to my perspective, and one of the people that cares a little for me, then please don’t worry, don’t feel bad, there is so much to be happy about. For one thing, I know that my ‘dark angel’ really does care deeply for me (of course others won’t believe that, but I know it in my heart). Our parting as absent friends, lets me look back on all of our experiences together, and there were so, so, many of them, with sublime joy. I will never forget this ‘first summer’ of mine, and that of course was the whole point of spending so much time with someone who was just perfect for me. I hope that she will remember with some fondness little parts of our experiences together too. I hope that in future she remembers me with one-hundredth of the intensity that I will remember her.

In addition, I have seen how many other people have a soft spot for me in their hearts. I have never been such an emotional mess before in my life, and one new experience for me, is seeing people step forward with love and care – that is such a gift. I am humbled and emotional about that too. Thank you my friends. There have been some amazingly lovely escorts, and some other contacts who know these feelings, who have helped drag me out of this low place in my life.

This period has been an emotional storm. Some other real-life dramas just happened to be playing out at the same time. Just to make sure that I never forget the depths of this period, I also mistakenly thought that a second escort that I love was disappearing from my life as well. My two impossible fantasies were disappearing at exactly the same time. For a short and sharp period, I felt as though I had been shot, stabbed and dropped into a well, and then it was sealed up over the top of me with no light coming in. It is amazing how you read (or misread) things when you are already down low. That light has returned, my darkest days are gone. What I know now most of all is how lucky, and I mean perhaps the luckiest man alive, I am to have seen the care of so many people, and still be left with the most wonderful memories of ‘days in the sun’ with my Dark Angel, my muse, and my font of adventure. I will always love her, but I can move on with memories of our amazing times together.

So where to from here?

Firstly I hope that her journey is so grand, so wonderful that it is deserving of her – I want everything in the world for her. I want more for her than anyone else I know outside of my own children. Secondly, I am happy! The road ahead is a little unclear, but I have people to hang onto, guide me, and be in my life for the next chapter – there will be another summer and it may not be that far away at all. If my Dark Angel returns, then I will always, always be here for her with open arms. I am also cherishing other people in my life too, who have already shown me the quality of their soul and the lightness of their spirit. This journey has shown me some amazing, loving and brilliant people that I also want to be in my life. I am moving towards them and I hope that they want me in their lives too.

For a little while I thought about my own ‘retirement’. I seriously contemplated giving up this journey, stopping writing this blog, leaving Twitter and trying some completely new and different chapter in my life. I don’t know how the future will play out, and I am far more impulsive and reactive at the moment than I would like – just another emotional work in progress for me as a growing and hurting person. For now I see this blog, and my increasing level of comfort with this crazy Percie Blakeney persona (me with another name) as a likely part of my next ‘summer’ – for now at least. Besides, I can’t mothball this crazy, weird blog yet, because the memories, threads and emotions of my Dark Angel are woven through its every page. I will remember my first escort forever, my first summer and the strength that was offered to me by others when the leaves turned brown. (OK now if you must play the song – here it is, or this ‘sketch version’ if you would prefer a good laugh).

The real song that tells the story of my companion, far better than this blog article does, is ‘Ride’ by Lana Del Rey, introduced to me by my Dark Angel herself. I highly recommend listening to it in full, loud and in a dark room. I can’t listen to it just at the moment without becoming a blubbering mess – I really have become an emotional wreck lately. I don’t even recognise myself sometimes, I like the new more emotionally connected me, but being so emotional can also be much harder at times.

There is a light ahead and it is getting stronger, but I will never forget how I got here. Thank you so much my love, I owe you everything! To those that are supporting me now, I love you, owe you and thank you so much too!

Epilogue One (September 2017 Update)

It has been four months since I last saw my Dark Angel, a tough four months. I don’t know how long it takes to ‘get over’ someone that you deeply care about, but it clearly isn’t four months. My Dark Angel is still teaching me things on this journey. Firstly, to leave this industry isn’t easy, and to do it so well takes real courage, determination and personal strength. I always knew that she was far stronger than me, but I doubt when it is time for me to ‘retire’ as a client, that I will be able to do it as cleanly, as courageously, and with as much grace and dignity as she was able to achieve.

It has also taught me that I need to change my perspective. I know my Dark Angel liked me, but as is the way of humans, we want our amazing moments to become ongoing connections. That can’t always happen! When someone changes their life and their connections, and their business, big things need to change. There is no doubt we shared amazing memories, but they had a time and a place, their day in the sun. Now we have both been forced to move on. Being a regular of a retired escort is a lonely place. What is true, is that an ‘ex-client’ needs to be completely out of the ‘ex-escort’s’ new life. It is a hard shift to accept and it has taken me four-months to realise that she isn’t just gone as a companion. I will never see her again.

These endings are hard endings and the contrast is so profoundly a shift from light to dark. Someone who is in your life one day, is gone forever. The amazing memories remain, but the ache of my soul to feel her in my life is yet to pass. I take her courage in leaving the industry as a beacon for me to keep up my courage in letting her go. At some point soon, I am going to need to rid myself of some of the reminders, because they are starting to hurt more in the moment, than the joy that comes from the memories that they trigger. I also owe the release of this part of my heart, and the attached melancholy, to the people who are still in my life and showing me such amazing times and even love as well. I need to ‘unlock’ myself again and be open in the way I was at the start of this journey. When down, it is easy to diminish other relationships and I need to be present in them and connect with those who want me in their lives.

I have heard briefly from my Dark Angel, enough for me to take satisfaction that her life is progressing as she would wish. That we have our own song too. Our song, as it is for many people no doubt, is Chelsea Hotel No 2, Lana Del Rey version of course. It is appropriate in so many ways. It ends with ‘to be honest, I don’t even think of you that often’, a lie sung by Leonard Cohen about his time with Janis Joplin. It will be a long time, before that line is true for me. Until then, I will show the courage my Dark Angel has and tell the world I have moved on.

For now, I am in a better place than I have been for a long time. My ‘muchness’ has returned and I am ‘in-the-moment’ with people who I adore, and who also want me in their life, as client, as friend, as someone who shares moments with them still. I am also going on a trip, some time for myself to recharge. Shed the last vestiges of this difficult year and make some new memories. Nothing about this farewell article has changed from the version in June to this epilogue in September, other than some personal growth, some hard lessons and a new commitment to be strong, enjoy the adventure and enrich some other people’s lives.

Epilogue Two (May 2018 Update)

This week (in May 2018) marks a year since I last saw my Dark Angel. I think for the first time in my life, I am learning how long it takes to move on when someone you deeply care about leaves your life, but is still out there somewhere. Well it’s a changing dynamic. I still have thoughts every day, but they are good memories. I give thanks that we had our time together, and a real desire to move on with the other people in my life who are very important to me.

It is only now, after a whole year, that I can truly admit to myself that I will never see her again and be OK with that. It’s not something that I like, of course I would love her in my life, but I have other amazing people in my life and I am looking ahead instead of behind. I once again believe my best days are ahead of me and not behind me. I can think with happiness on my memories and celebrate them. I will never forget my Dark Angel, but I will be OK without her. It has been a year and I am OK. I have moved on, grown, learned and processed the time we had together and the time apart.

Many people will quite rightly scorn at me for falling in love with an escort. It looks to all the world like naivety, breaking of boundaries, inappropriateness and all sorts of other ‘badness’. I never did anything with my feelings that would be considered inappropriate, other than have those feelings, live with them, and then learn to deal with them in her retirement. It does show how amazingly emotional and real the client-escort connection can be and how much it is charged with both positive and negative emotions and consequences. This is not an ‘entanglement free space’, at least not for me. I have however learned, that it is important to keep emotions managed on the journey and not just wait for the ‘train-wreck’ at the end. That is one more parting gift from my first companion.

Thank you my Dark Angel, one more time, “I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel”. I wish you every great thing in your life ahead and I know that it must be without me.

If you know or can guess the identity of this person, and the same applies with every article, please respect that this is meant to be anonymous and treat this as a work of fiction with fictional characters. Her story, her path, her future are her own. Please do not name her in any comments or social media.

Thank you so much everyone who has helped me – I don’t think you will ever know how much that means to me – I love so many of you (and now I have a thank-you page too). The richness, variety and lessons you give astound me so much – I can’t believe how much life I have discovered on this journey. Finally thank you again to the readers who put up with my silly blog. To the small few who really care for me, you know who you are, thank you so much – you have put my broken heart back together. I know many people hate hearing that the ‘paid escort-client’ relationships can be this rich and full of feeling – but they can and sometimes they are – and they can still be bounded by business and professional respect.

Xx SP 8 June 2017 (article updated 25 June 2017, 19 September 2017 and again 16 May 2018).

Loving an Escort

What happens when a client falls in love with an escort?

Falling for a sex-worker.

I have fallen in love with more than one escort, and I have strong ‘feelings of love’ for a few others as well. Maybe I fall in love easily, maybe I have just met amazing women, or maybe it is that clients fall in love with escorts far more frequently than many of us may think.

So what does it mean and how do you (OK, I mean me) manage this? It’s not like we’re about to run off into the sunset, these feelings need to be accepted, but they also need to be managed. Let’s take a look at the awkward topic of falling for an escort, complete with a few uncomfortable admissions from me.

CupidVenus

So is it really love?

Recently I was reading another wonderful blog by the amazing Sophia Duvall called ‘Minding your step: love and the escalator’, it was talking about how clients should try and “not overstep the emotional boundary while still engaging in intimacy”. It is an amazing piece, go and read it now if you want but please remember to come back. The article suggests ‘steps up a ‘virtual’ escalator’ as representing levels of relationship progression, and the idea of stopping at the appropriate ‘step’ or level for the nature of the relationship.

It is a great visual image of the natural increasing levels of intimacy that can and do occur, but also the need (or appropriateness) to stop at a certain position and ‘hold’ it there. We are all ‘trained’ to seek fully-expressed and singular love (the top of the escalator), instead of stopping at a particular place (on the escalator), and enjoying that place (for example a very close client-escort connection). I am going to refer to these ‘steps’ in a few different ways to illustrate my own ‘escalating intimacy’ and feelings with escorts, how these differ from other relationships, and how I have attempted to manage the feelings and the relationships.

Different types of love – climbing the steps.

We can use love in a broad sense. I love specific things about most of the escorts that I have met. Any combination of their beauty, youth, sexual freedom, skill, intelligence, style, smell, discreteness, honesty, humour and so on. You get the point, at one level we ‘love’ certain compartmentalized things. We all probably focus on something we ‘love’ about a person or a particular moment or memory as a focal point for building intimacy and connection.

Perhaps if enough of these ‘features of loving focus’ are present, it becomes overwhelming and we are effectively ascending the ‘virtual escalator’ and we find ourselves ‘in love’ with the whole package, the whole person captures our mind. We are in love with the person or some other collection of their attributes such as their ‘escort persona’, the ‘experience’ that they offer, or some other construction that is meaningful to us. We experience so many positive things that negatives are ignored and we ‘fall in love’ with the whole person.

Different barriers to love – stopping at a specific step.

In most client-escort relationships, there is a profound difference between the participants. Let’s be totally honest. One person is paying another for a connection that would be unlikely to exist without the financial incentive. The financial element is bridging a gap between ages, experiences, social confidence, society’s stereotypes of beauty, limitations in time and availability and other barriers. Money is bringing two people together who, for at least 9-times-in-every-10, would never get together intimately otherwise – that is why the escorting business exists.

The client wants the ‘service’ of the provider. For this reason, it is far more likely for clients to fall for escorts than escorts falling for clients (I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen, just that it would seem at slightly rarer). So the first barrier is that the client’s ‘love’ is very unlikely to be reciprocated by the escort. That is a good reason for every client to stop their ‘climb up the escalator’ before their protestations of love for an escort leave the escort with no choice but to end the connection due to the level of inappropriate intensity.

Clients at risk of fully developed ‘love’ for an escort need to find a way to accept the reality, enjoy the connection for what it is, and accept what is offered as sufficient. Let go of the dream and enjoy the wonders of the available reality. Pushing for more ‘steps up the escalator’ with someone who cannot ‘go any further’, will break the connection and destroy what level of returned intimacy is possible within the dynamics of a professional escort-client relationship. Don’t give away something great trying to drive it to a place that it simply cannot go.

My own journey.

I said as the ‘teaser’ at the start of this piece that I have fallen in love with more than one escort, and that is true enough. I am a long-way up that ‘escalator’ in these cases, far further up than the escorts that are the subject of my attention are in respect of their feelings for me. That ‘gap’ creates some issues. I am sure that they are concerned that I am too committed and of course for me, knowing that my ‘level’ cannot be returned creates some pain from the difference between my head and my heart. There is always a ‘gap’, between a client looking for intimacy and an ‘escort’ just wanting a good client, so these issues exist all the time. When the ‘gap’ becomes extreme, it can certainly trigger problems.

We all have our complicated psychology and the things that make us who we are. In some ways, I pine for my youth. In trying to capture as much of it as I can before it is gone for good, I love escorts in my ‘persona’ of reliving a lost past. I love them, because if I was twenty-years younger, I would ‘pull out all stops’ to try and build a relationship with them. The reason it is a ‘strange love’, is that I know that they are not going to ‘date’ me, I just want to imagine it while I’m in that mode of feeling young. If I was reliving my youth, my heart would ache to be their real-life lover. When I am out of that ‘mode’, I just hope for continued intimacy and friendship. I hope that they care about me just a fraction of how much I care about them and think of me from time-to-time.

There are some other escorts, slightly older but younger than me, that I would date if firstly my life circumstances allowed it, and secondly if I was to learn that they had any real feelings for me. This is really the ‘seed of love’, where you can see someone is compatible enough to want to explore where it might go – maybe a pathway to love and see if you can ‘climb the escalator’ together. Again there are barriers between the fantasy of seeing an escort and the harsh realities of life. In a different place and time, I would like to see where the road went if some of these ‘constructed dates’ became actual dates instead.

Then as I said earlier, there is love of features, aspects, experiences and other elements of the whole. I think any client who re-books an escort repeatedly, must at least love some aspect of that escort, the experience, or the resulting feelings. Whatever the trigger is, some ‘aspect of love’ and desire must remain to stimulate a need to reconnect and re-book. There are so many forms of love, and it is so intertwined with interpersonal need and intimacy, that it is always going to play some role within the client-escort dynamic.

Going all the way!

Sometimes however there is no stopping feelings, they grow and there is no preventing the ‘escalator’ from progressing all the way to the limit. If you are a client who is truly, madly, and deeply in love with a woman you met as an escort, there are really only three choices. Say nothing and learn to accept what you receive, pursue your love knowing the almost certain response is full rejection, or end the relationship to protect your own heart. None of these are good decisions, because in any case of unrequited love, the lover is always going to lose. “Loving is a losing game”, Amy Winehouse, but life without love is an empty life – just don’t expect to find it in the client-escort world – it is a ‘Unicorn’ (borrowed from the piece on ‘Chasing Unicorns’).

As I re-visit this article, events are transpiring that are further highlighting how deep these feelings go. A particular connection is coming to a close. I have held myself ‘on the escalator’ by sheer force of will and tried to “say little and accept what I received”, as a way of remaining connected, enjoying the relationship and preventing it collapsing under the pressure of the ‘gap’ between my feelings, and the limited amount of affection that can be returned by an escort. Now that it is ending, I don’t need to contain how strong these feeling are, the problem is that the result of ‘letting the constraints go’ is heartbreak. I am still too connected to what my escort-life persona wants, and I am going to find this relationship very painful to let go. The one constant note of joy, with me all the time, is that I was very, very lucky (profoundly blessed) to ever have this relationship in the first place.  

So many aspects of this topic have been left uncovered. It seems like I will also be able to write something on ‘Client Heartbreak’ at some point in the near future. Please add your comments, share, re-post and let me know what you think. Thank you Bella Skye and Will for your comments on the first version of this article. Thank you all for your readership and to those who just keep supporting this blog – I love you so much for your continued support.

Xx SP 28 April 2017 (updated 31 May 2017 and again on 6 May 2018). 

Hurt feelings

When I started, I never expected to hurt anyone’s feelings.

New world, strange expectations!

When I look back to the beginning of my own journey, for some reason I felt that the whole reason for seeing an escort was to avoid entanglement. Oh, and of course to see someone that you could never get to meet in real life. It was a very simplistic view of the escort world.

I didn’t expect that I would get hurt feelings. I certainly never expected that I would hurt anyone else’s feelings. In those early days, I foolishly believed that I wouldn’t have strong feelings for the escorts that I met, and it didn’t even enter my head, that a few escorts may have feelings for me too!

HotelRoom

A double life – you’re not a ‘muggle’ anymore.

So the first feelings hurt were my own. I have a slightly addictive personality as well as a typical male’s needy one. I also fall in love relatively easily.  That is a dangerous cocktail of emotional need, connection and human addiction. So when I first started re-booking and then seeing certain escorts regularly, their commentary about great bookings and their great clients hurt my ego a little – I wondered if my time with them would ever be remembered like that? I found out, that I had pretty strong feelings for some of these wonderful women.

Initially, I didn’t think that I wanted to be ‘special’ in their lives, but I found that was becoming increasingly important to me with some of the regular escorts I was seeing – and if I’m being honest, knowing that in a number of these cases, I wasn’t at all special to them, hurt! It hurt like a ‘mother-fucker’.

So to some degree, I got over this. I spent a long-time ‘smacking myself in the face’ with logic. To some degree this worked, I understood that just getting a little friendly message between bookings, or a slight overstay, or just general authentic and honest interest in my life and well-being (as well as being allowed to re-book of course), were all signals that I was at least an appreciated client, if not a favoured one. I took strength from those small but sweet gifts of attention and interest. What I still didn’t realise, in slightly hardening myself against the personal hurt, was that some of these escorts also had some feelings for me. Beyond the basic business of ‘playing the companion’, some of the escorts I met, actually liked me just a little.

Hurting an escort’s feelings.

Everyone is different and so is every escort. This is obvious but important, as everyone’s tolerance for pretty much anything is different. The idiot that I am, I thought that a professional escort would not be hurt by knowing that I was seeing other escorts, after all, they were seeing so many other men (and women). That idea, along with a number of others I held as a ‘newly-minted’ client, was wrong in a number of instances.

Many escorts like to ‘turn a blind eye’ to what their clients do when not with them, just as I liked to do the same in reverse. For some escorts, perhaps it comes down to professional competitiveness and business risk (loosing a client), for others however, it is a genuine human interconnection, and being aware of the truth (especially in detail) can hurt. It really doesn’t matter whether you are a client or an escort – feelings are feelings and they are not at all logical.

Maybe it is not always a deep hurt, but some pain and discomfort at least. I was unaware of this, as I was telling myself the ‘logical story’ that of course ‘why would any escort actually care for me’. In that ignorance, I was oblivious to the fact that the details of my other bookings, and certain escort-related actions, were hurting the feelings of some of the escorts to whom I had become the most connected with. I never meant to hurt anyone’s feelings, and I was mortified when I found out that I had.

The extreme cases.

Not only do I have strong feelings for a number of escorts that I have met, I may have actually fallen in love with more than one of them, a story that I added a specific blog article about called ‘Loving an Escort’ that goes into greater detail. I know that this level of feeling isn’t reciprocated, it isn’t even reasonable, and in many ways it could even be seen as creepy and very poor client behaviour – but I am just a human being with feelings that most of the time do what they will, whether I want them to or not.

All it really means in practice is that the ‘hurts’ are far stronger. It is very hard for any of us to feel forgotten, or hold a level of interest in someone that isn’t reciprocated. Often clients feel this, as a significant part of the whole industry is for clients to ‘experience’ what it is like to be with a Girlfriend (GFE bookings). If that ‘Girlfriend’ illusion is strong and residual (and let’s face it the best Escorts make your truly want to be their Boyfriend), it is difficult for clients watching as their ‘temporary Girlfriend’ goes about being a professional companion, marketing and promoting their business, their clients and their experiences. It can be even harder watching some escorts denounce clients in general as awful, tragic and broken people. It is even harder, when for whatever reason, they denounce you.

For me, the personal benefits of continuing to enjoy these relationships is more than worth the hurt. Some of the feelings need to be buried deep and not openly expressed – freaking someone out with adoration is only going to end the connection in most cases. The ‘heart wants what the heart wants’ but that doesn’t mean that you need to freak people out with it. Staying cool is a valuable skill but a hard lesson to learn. It is one that I am still on a journey to learning and a year after initially writing the article, I still can’t say I have mastered this.

A double life or a multiple life – what is the answer?

So coming back to the beginning, I went into being a client of escorts and started a ‘double-life’. I never thought that in the ‘client-world’, things would need to be further compartmentalized and that ‘secrets within secrets’ might become a requirement. I sometimes think that the only answer to avoiding ‘causing pain’ is to move into a ‘multiple-life’ of even greater division and secrecy – I am however not ready for that, it seems a step too far.

The alternative is to understand and even embrace that some level of pain goes along with joy, ecstasy and love. Maybe I need to feel pain to know that I’m alive, just as much as I need to experience the classically positive emotions. In fact we can’t really feel joy, love, happiness and ecstasy without it contrasting against other darker moments in our lives – light and shade.

Maybe some escorts need to realise this too. If they are feeling client induced pain from a strong connection, maybe that is a good thing. They are alive, the work has emotional meaning, and they probably have a client who is going to be around for a long time! Assuming that both can stay-in-the-moment and not expect or demand more from the connection than the other is willing or able to give. Of course I added a blog post on that thought too, called ‘Staying in the Moment’.

Being a regular client of amazing escorts isn’t the simple magical world that I thought it was, but I’m never going back to a ‘muggle’ life. Perhaps with the added layers and complexity it is an even better world.

Thank you for you readership. Please feel free to share, comment, disagree, I’m am always happy for your thoughts and input. Of course this is the view of one simple client, and I am not speaking for others. Thanks also for the comments on the original version of the article from Jack and Bella.

Xx SP 11 March 2017 (article updated 8 May 2017 and again 6 May 2018)

45 and Out

Thank you and good bye!

Percie Blakeney Signing Off.

I have been struggling with my motivations for this blog and associated Twitter persona for a couple of months. To those who follow and know me, this will seem like one of those closing sales that never ends – closed, open again, closed and so on. Not this time, this is my 45th and final public blog article. It is a goodbye letter from Percie to you, and to me, the simple man who borrowed his persona for a short while!

My whole journey as a client of escorts in Australia has been an amazing one. The last four months of it, writing on my experiences, has been full of lessons as well. I have expressed and thought about topics of relevance to me, and I have seen what can happen, positive and negative, to public voices in an industry that has always been under siege. It has been a great experience, but it is rapidly becoming a nasty experience.

BookOfEtiquette

So why am I calling it quits?

At one point I was going to write some harder comments, but at the end, the only people who are likely to read this are not the same people to whom those comments would be directed. So the best answer is, the blog and the Twitter persona have given me all that I think they can, and there is little personal benefit to be had from continuing with them.

I have had a challenging start to 2017. In my real life, I have had a difficult year. Illness around and close to me, people departed and no longer with us for other reasons, and business and personal dramas – nothing that we don’t all face, and I am fortunate that my issues pale into insignificance compared to what many, maybe even you, are facing and dealing with right now. It’s simply that on top of that, I don’t need any more issues, and this account and this blog brings a set of unique issues all of its own.

It may surprise you to know that having a public profile as a client works against you not for you. A blog, makes this dynamic even worse. It becomes a source of stress that builds over time, being blocked, attacked, targeted and questioned because of an online profile and blog. I know every escort gets far worse treatment, and they shouldn’t, but if they are able to manage that, then their benefit is a marketing and financial end result. The difference for me, is that there is no end result, other than my own education and experience. The learning and advice is no longer enough of a positive to outweigh the negatives that come with this territory. Be assured, there are some very nasty negatives, from people who claim to be nice, honest, supportive and professional.

My departing thank you messages!

There are so many people to thank. I hope those of you dearest to me know this and that I have told you so. My thank you page on this blog is a pretty good indicator of how many people I owe a vote of thanks too. There are some people on that list, who have decided to attack me, rather than support me, but they are lessons too.

I am also reducing my involvement as a client (at least for a while). I doubt that will be permanent, the attraction to the experiences is just far too strong, but I need a rest and some other changes. I have some things to do as well that will help fix my other issues, and reset me on a better personal path. I will be seeing a far smaller number of people that I am close with during this period, but that will not be public any longer. I apologize if we have never met, there are a significant number of people I would really have liked to meet, but the reality of this change is that I am unlikely to see anyone new, at least for some considerable amount of time. There is even a good chance that some of the more vindictive voices have black-listed me and who wants to see a client who might write about his experiences anyway – perhaps you “dodged a bullet”, that is certainly what my ‘haters’ would tell you.

This blog was removed during July, but now the old articles will remain for anyone interested. The Twitter account will go into far more limited use. I have an archive of the blog (a PDF) that is available to anyone close to me, or any legitimate public industry platform that would like to use any of these works in the future. Be warned it is around 80,000 words and almost 160 pages in length – my personal cure and gift for insomnia. I will still be writing, but it will be private material only from now on, so that I can remember my own journey when I am in my dotage. I am privileged to have enjoyed these moments and I don’t want to forget any of them.

The Dark Parts

I am not your enemy! So often, especially recently, this has been how I have felt. I am not going to go into all the examples and details, but maybe think about how you class clients in general, and clients who are trying to be supportive of the industry online in particular. Also have a think about ‘who is the client’. When criminal behaviour, abusive behaviour, time-wasting, no-shows, offensive content and trolling are called by escort’s ‘client behaviour’, it places real-clients within a group that aren’t really clients at all. Everyone I listed above is a ‘non-client’ but they are spoken about as though they are. Real, respectful, paying, generous and caring clients have to deal with these stereotypes, as though we are about to do the same thing at any minute. The best way for me not to feel like this, is to stop seeing the associated social media, and to stay only in contact with people who know, trust and want to see the real me. I have been classified as a ‘hated client’ in some quarters and yet I have never done any of those things and many such ‘offensive clients’ wander around social media with impunity and even the support of certain escorts.

Customer service. A good client is a customer, a quality escort is an amazing supplier. Obvious right? I know this may not be a popular comment, but the level of customer service in general is not great, and from my experience it is getting worse. I have started to feel in some instances as though I am the supplier. As this comes to a close, I have had to cancel twice but I have been cancelled on more than a dozen times. I have paid for things I haven’t received many times. I promised I wouldn’t start listing things, but I can’t turn a blind eye to falling standards of professional behaviour any longer. The recent influx of new people includes some who are so entitled, what they believe should be coming their way staggers belief. I don’t think anyone owes me anything, but I certainly don’t owe some of the things that parts of this industry believe clients owe them. I will be sticking with people, nice people, quality escorts (if I have any forward bookings) where there is mutual respect and we fulfill each others needs.

Secrecy. Anything that needs sharing for safety, security and reasonable means makes perfect sense and should of course be part of the escort community. Sharing for entertainment, making fun of people, threatening people or just to tell a story is a breach of confidence. For all the Twitter traffic on poor client behaviour, everyone is silent on the level of nasty, careless and vindictive breaches of privacy that are currently occurring. Another area that is getting worse not better. I see males who have acted badly continuing on their merry way, and I see escorts who do terrible things to co-workers and clients also continuing with impunity. I can’t see this changing, but I don’t have to watch or see these people on social media any more.

The light parts.

The best experiences in my life have happened thanks to individuals who work as escorts and have seen fit to see me, have a moment with me, and for that time – really ‘be in that moment’ with me. That is the joy, the addiction, the memorable moment that is so joyful compared the drudgery, stress, pace and darkness of so many parts of the rest of our lives. Somehow, although that happens all the time when an escort and a client are together, it is not the vibe or impression that anyone would get from the volume of online conversation in this industry. The online representation does not match what happens when a good client and a quality escort are together.

Twitter has become a battle ground. Snapchat is moving human companions into digital content for consumption. Escorts are puling back to their online channels. Clients to theirs. There is nowhere online that isn’t starting to feel like ‘us-and-them’ territory. That isn’t what it is like when we are together – good client and quality escort in a wonderful moment isolated from the world. I have never felt like an ‘us’ in a booking with a ‘them’, not once. Yet that is how I feel online. Even the people that have attacked me, were lovely within a booking and made it a wonderful moment. That is how I feel when my blog articles are attacked by people I’ve never even met, who assume I have some agenda – an agenda they have created in their own head. I am going back to the physical experience of ‘two people’ spending time together intimately and dropping everything that feels divisive, leaving this hateful channel that pitches clients against escorts and escorts against each other.

Farewell

It is with huge sadness that I say farewell to Percie. This is an olde-world persona that was a lot of fun, even if not everyone appreciated being called Lord or Lady, by a dandy from the French Revolution era. Or a sign-off complete with the flower representing the ‘Scarlet Pimpernel’, Percie’s own anonymous persona. The literary connotations, period language, strangeness and of course the phallic elements of ‘Your Percie’ have been entertaining and a great distraction from all the other ‘shit I should have been doing’. I enjoyed being Percie for a little while.

Many of you have been so nice to me. People I haven’t even met. I will miss that. Almost everyone named on my thank you list, I will miss. That includes the people who no longer like me, I will still miss you. I only hang on to the good memories and I hold no grudges. Some of you I will be in contact with through other means, but I will still miss our interaction through this persona. I imagine some escorts fall in love with their own escort persona and find that a sadness when they retire – giving away that part of themselves. I think that is why it has taken me so long to make this decision. As I go back to just my real self, I will miss Percie, I had actually grown very fond of him.

For those of you who wanted this blog gone (or at least no new article) – pop the champagne corks. It isn’t really a victory, any time someone who is positive and supportive of the industry is shut down, that isn’t a good thing, whether you agree with their specific opinions or not. I will still read many of the escort blogs, they are great, and I would read any client ones too – you know, if there actually were any!

I have other reasons that I need to focus on a transition in my life. I spent a lot of money over the last 18-months, an amount many people could not imagine. My new pathway will include some selfish pursuits and sexual discovery, bit I also intend to re-channel that level of spending to channels that also benefit communities and other human endeavour. Other things that I can be proud of later in life, in the same way that I needed to rediscover my youth, my sexuality and some wonderful people – for at least the brief time that this part of my journey lasted.

Thank you so much. Be nicer to each other. Real clients and quality escorts are on the same side in most things. Please stop chasing the ‘real clients’ out of social media and from being a part of making this a far more socially acceptable industry.

Xx SP 17 July 2017 (updated as a farewell message 8 August 2017).

They seek him here, they seek him there,
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
Is he in heaven? Or is he in hell?
That damned elusive Pimpernel!

I don’t mean to suggest that I loved you the best
I can’t keep track of each fallen robin
I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel
That’s all, I don’t even think of you that often

Chelsea Hotel No 2 – Leonard Cohen (Lana Del Rey version)

Sydney Client Tour Guide

Taking a client-side view of Sydney for escort bookings!

Seeing Escorts in Sydney – Where to Stay? – Where to Eat?

I am not pretending to be a travel reviewer, or that I know Sydney better than any other resident or traveler, but here is a slightly different take on Sydney. This is one client-of-escort’s opinion on good places to stay (accommodation) and good places to eat (restaurants) if you are booking an escort for an out-call dinner date in Sydney.

This is certainly not going to be a comprehensive list. I am simply sharing two-years worth of experiences on some choices that seem to work well for spending some intimate time together. My own view on how to have a great dinner booking with an Escort in Sydney – sort of a companion-article to ‘Constructing a Dinner Date’. Of course I will be interested in hearing other ideas (your recommendations) for more options for me to try in the future.

SydneyInsights

So What is the Criteria?

I apologize in advance if you are looking for ‘lower cost options’, this article is about having a great time, not a cheap time. Not that you need to ‘break-the-bank’, but when you are already spending a significant amount of money on a longer ‘dinner-date’ booking, it seems like false economy to try and save money on other aspects of the experience. Price is not a consideration on my list – it is about the total experience.

In addition, I am favoring central places, locations that Sydney or touring escorts are likely to know, as this reduces security and screening issues for them, and hopefully places that they like too, or would like to visit. Happy escort, happy client, great mutual experience, that is the aim here. I also favour places that are easy to travel between, long travel between hotels and restaurants is not a great idea within an escort booking – generally the less travel time the better – a short trip in a hotel lift is ideal.

Lastly reliability, flexibility and respect are great factors. As a client, you want somewhere that is reliably good, has flexibility to deal with dietary needs and food preferences, and where staff are generally respectful of the situation even when it is clear what is happening. You want to know that 9-times-out-of-10, it is going to be a good experience, so that the hotel, restaurant and other logistics, don’t get in the way of the rest of the booking. So here are a selection of my recommendations for a great escort-client booking in Sydney! I am keeping a few choices secret.

Let’s Start with Five Great Hotels!

Shangri La Hotel – a personal favorite of mine. The view, especially if you book a ‘harbour view room’, or even better a ‘horizon club – harbour view room’ (higher floors) is probably the best in Sydney – perfect if you are hosting a touring escort. The hotel is well located, large, open lobby area and close to many great dining choices, including it’s own Altitude Restaurant (on the 36th floor). The Day Spa is good, but not the best in Sydney, and the pool is also a great addition. The lifts are slow, especially at peak times, as there are a large number of rooms and the ‘Blu Bar’ also on Level 36 is a popular drinking destination. If you can afford to splash out, the Horizon Club – Harbour View Corner Suites are fantastic, with commanding views all over Sydney Harbour.

QT Hotel – if you don’t need a view, this is a great quirky and surprisingly decorated hotel – certainly a conversation starter and you may recognise it from a number of escort’s own photo shoots (profiles). The state room(s) are the best, but overpriced compared to other high-end choices in Sydney. The corner suites are probably the best choice. The hotel has a great day spa, no pool unfortunately, a great and very reliable restaurant called ‘Gowings’ on Level 1 with an attached bar, and good coffee from the Parlour Lane cafe on the ground floor. This is an excellent choice, especially if shopping, seeing a show at the State Theatre (only next door) or other restaurant choices in the ‘mid-city’ are on your booking plan.

Langham Hotel – a little out of the way in the rocks area of Sydney is the Langham – used to be known as the Observatory Hotel. It is a low-rise hotel, not much in the way of views, but the rooms are very large and have plush furnishings – very stylish. The pool is amazing and well worth a visit and the dinning choices on site are good if not great. Watch out for phone reception, it is terrible due to the location. Despite this it is a very nice, possibly even romantic hotel choice.

Westin Hotel – very central, just on Martin Place, the typical Westin room is nice, large enough and most have some views into the city. The better and higher rooms have improving views and the very high-end rooms are magnificent. The Heritage rooms, in the older part of the building are great and different in styling. For dining, the Prime Steak restaurant on the lower ground floor is wonderful (although not ideal for vegetarians obviously).

Sheraton Hotel – perhaps not as glamorous as the other four in this list, the Sheraton is big and reliable. It has a very large lobby with lifts well removed from the check-in area if privacy is your thing. The rooms are high quality if not awesome, and there are plenty of in-house and nearby dining options. The hotel is close to CBD shopping areas, Hyde Park and it is very easy to get to and from with a constant supply of taxis all day and night.

Other hotels that are worthy of consideration: Establishment Hotel (boutique and unique – not great for privacy however), Intercontinental Hotel (a little old in my opinion, but highly regarded and the newer one in Double Bay is very nice if you are happy staying just outside the CBD), and the Park Hyatt (overpriced and a little hard to get to, but with great views from most rooms back towards the city). At the lower cost end, Meriton Serviced Apartments (there are a number of them) are a popular choice with touring escorts and so is the Grace Hotel which is centrally located.

Now for Five Great Restaurants!

There really are so many choices, and it depends on personal preference, however here are my personal recommendations:

Bennelong Restaurant – at the Opera House. What more iconic location can you have than dining at the Opera House. The view is back toward the city and over Circular Quay. I have wonderful memories at Bennelong, so maybe I’m biased, but the food is magnificent (can’t always say that about other restaurants with views), and the cocktails, drinks and service is generally excellent as well. Always a memorable experience, especially if the weather is good and you can walk around nearby and soak up the harbour side ambience. Fairly lengthy waiting list for bookings. Also perfect if you are seeing a show at the Opera House as long as you have enough time for both.

Tetsuya’s Restaurant – wonderful and surprising Japanese tea house style in the middle of Sydney. A great, maybe even magnificent dining experience, it is a chef prepared degustation with a leaning towards seafood. It is a worthy experience for anyone and the food is amazing. You will need your escort to accommodate the time this meal takes, as this is not a fast dining option – the degustation will take around three hours and maybe even longer. Fairly lengthy waiting list for bookings.

Altitude Restaurant – probably the best view in Sydney for a meal and the food is still excellent. Perfect if you are staying in-house at the Shangri La. You can choose a degustation option or a two or three-course a la carte option. Great food, great drinks, amazing view. The staff are a little intrusive and always ask if you are celebrating something, so be prepared for an answer unless you are super honest, strangely they seem to think only people ‘celebrating something’ dine there. It is great when something is on in Sydney, for example the Vivid lighting festival. Bookings needed, but waiting time is not overly long.

Gowings Restaurant – at the QT Hotel (level 1). Is great and reliable food. Always well prepared, possibly the best Oysters in Sydney and plenty of wine, drinks and other associated choices with the bar right next to the restaurant. The only downsides are that it can be a little noisy, there is no ‘special Sydney view’, and couples are seated on tables that keep you a little separated. The staff are great and if you are staying at the QT Hotel, then it is a perfect venue. Very busy restaurant every day of the week, but bookings can normally be made for the same week. I have never had a bad meal at Gowings.

Cafe Sydney – another wonderful view, but not from every table. On the top level (roof) of the old Custom’s House near Circular Quay, this is a great venue and very conveniently located if you are staying at that end of the city. The food is great, the drink choices are great and it is a worthy Sydney experience for either lunch or dinner. The ‘balcony tables’ are probably the best when the weather is good (summer months). There is a short waiting list for bookings, so best to book a week or two in advance and table quality gets better with earlier bookings. The staff can be a little variable and in hot weather the air-conditioning isn’t always up to the challenge of the location – but it is another ‘very Sydney’ experience.

Other suggestions include: Felix (good food near Ivy Bar off George-Street), Kensingnton Street Social (very modern menu – bar style seating), Quay (similar to Bennelong, but in my opinion Bennelong is better), Prime Steak (lower-ground floor at the Westin). There are just so many great dining choices in and around Sydney, this list could go on forever.

Entertainment Choices!

Perhaps getting outside of the scope of this article, if you are adding an experience to a dinner or lunch booking, there are again so many choices. Cruises, shows, tourist destinations, shopping, festivals and so on. I am not going to make any recommendations here, other than to say this is best done with the escort’s own preferences in mind. Experience bookings (dates if you like) are going to be much better if you are taking an escort to something that they like. So perhaps discussion and planning to ensure the choice is something offering mutual enjoyment is the trick here. There is so much on offer in Sydney.

If you can’t tell already, I love Sydney. Hotel’s, dining and experiences, it has it all in excess. This is just my little personal tour, leaning towards places I have grown to enjoy and know well. These places are reliable and almost always deliver a great experience and a quality setting for a wonderful escort-client booking.

More than any other article on this blog, I hope that you comment either here or on Twitter, as I would like to hear your preferences, you favorite places, or just your bucket-list wishes. Perhaps I will add a list to this article later from all of the other suggestions. This is a bit of an ‘idea gathering’ exercise as much as it is about my experiences so far.

Thank you as always for your readership and engagement.

Xx SP 29 June 2017.

Learning Experiences

Seeing escorts has some surprise benefits and great lessons.

Some of the Extra Benefits of Meeting Escorts!

Something I didn’t appreciate when I started seeing escorts, was how much I would learn! I’m not just talking about sex or the industry, I’m talking about music, philosophy, pop-culture, the arts, food, travel, marketing, broader opinion and a whole host of other surprise benefits.

I have spent a significant amount of time on this blog talking about what I have learned and experienced emotionally – maybe too much time. That is part of my personal journey and no doubt a big driver for many clients. It is however surprising how much else I have learned and experienced – much of it totally unexpected.

RuinartChampagne

A Journey of Elucidation!

So let’s start with some of the easy lessons! I have learned that I like quality French Champagne and a host of other food and drink items that I had never tried until in the company of independent escorts. Some of these are expensive tastes, and maybe that is part of the lesson too. I have grown to appreciate spoiling myself and others around me to enjoy and fully experience a moment in time – make it memorable and make it special.

I like trying new cocktails, despite the entertainment value that activity gives certain others to laugh at my apparently more ‘feminine’ drinking behaviours. I think I may even ‘play up’ to that ‘dinner date reputation’. It is great fun trying new restaurants, new food and new drinks with entertaining, experienced professional company. I have discovered that I love Ruinart Rose Champagne, Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Champagne, Dom Perignon and other fine champagne marques – especially in the company of escorts who enjoy the same wonderful drinks.

In fact I have also discovered, as someone previously limited to red wine, whisky, gin and occasionally beer that I also like Clare Valley and European Rieslings and some other white wines, good saki and a host of weird and wonderful spirits and global drinks. Especially when I am sharing the experience with someone who loves the drink or food that we are trying together. As a previously typical Australian male ‘red meat eater’, I have grown to like seafood far more and even enjoyed vegetarian and vegan meals in great restaurants – although I have no intention of becoming vegetarian myself.

Broader Tastes and Opinions.

It isn’t just food and drink, although you can see that they ‘loom large’ on my personal radar. I have also heavily sampled the musical tastes of the escorts that I have met. People in my ‘real life’ wonder why I have such a varied musical collection now, that includes what I was listening too before meeting escorts, but now with so many more artists. Disturbed, Lana Del Rey, Halsey, Hozier, Tom Waits, The Civil Wars, Dean Lewis, Desi Valentine, Selena Gomez, Perfume Genius, The Lonely Island, and even, god forbid, Kanye West have all been added to my music playlists thanks to experiences with escorts. Of course when these songs play, they also bring back so many emotionally charged memories.

I have watched ballet with an amazing escort who learned dance herself, experiencing the performance in a new way as I observed how she interacted with the experience. Theater, comedy, concerts, movies and wandering the cities of Australia with companions that helped me see these things through different eyes. New experiences, new perspectives and new opinions, that have enriched my life. I feel that I have started exploring the world once again as a ‘younger man’, rather than settling into the same old stale pathways that many of my real-life colleagues are stuck within.

The Effects of Intimate Conversations.

I am a talker, that should come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog. I generally have longer bookings with companions who talk too. Those I have seen repeatedly and then regularly have shared with me their opinions, their values, their beliefs, perspectives and philosophies. I have been enriched by these so much, I couldn’t even begin to describe the detail here. I have heard and experienced more spiritual views, travel stories, survival stories, cultural backgrounds, career stories and of course sex-work industry and escort and client origin stories. I have changed my views, opinions and beliefs about so many things, that I doubt I would fully recognise the ‘middle-aged’ man that I was at the start of this journey. I simply do not see the world the same way anymore.

Of course in experiencing so many views, and they are not at all the same. Escorts may have many things in common with each other, how they see the world away from escorting is not one of them, their individual views and experiences are totally diverse and incredibly broad. So another result, is that I appreciate a multitude of viewpoints on quite polarizing topics. I think that is why the rush to ‘one-view’ on social media and the ‘this is how it should be’ conversations surprise me, because in one-on-one conversations, the views, opinions and beliefs couldn’t be more divergent. I love that I now don’t have a singular view on many topics, I see myself on a journey of discovery in so many ways, holding disparate perspectives and wondering which one I might ultimately end up holding and believing. Maybe I will always hold divergent and conflicting views on a number of issues, because I can now see different but still often individually valid perspectives.

Sexual Experiences.

I am still so early on this road. In fact with each passing experience, I think I feel that the road is even longer and that I am even more of a beginner. I am astounded at how little most people know about their own sexuality and overall, how this area itself is perhaps one of the least progressed explorations in all human discussion. We are still in some crazy sexual dark age, where the bulk of the world doesn’t talk, doesn’t explore and doesn’t question their own desires and pathways to sexual fulfillment and enlightenment.

I guess for me, one of the first lessons to this being an individual pathway, is how different every escort is. It is hard to learn ‘what to do’ sexually, as everyone is so different. So there may be plenty of ‘what NOT to do’ lessons to be had, but sensitivities, desires, preferences, physical responses and every other erotic and emotional state is represented. It is difficult to ask straight up, ‘what turns you on?’, but it is something that compatibility, time together and openness to discovery help open up and reward within developing intimate connections. Another interesting thing for me, is that I have discovered I like, and get aroused by, so many different things, scenarios and situations and I’m discovering more all the time. I’ll leave this bit for other articles, but the take-away is that this is a longer, more progressive and changing sexual awakening than I ever expected. It is sort of exciting to think that I still have so much more to experience.

Industry Experiences.

One of the final territories of experiences is learning just a little about the escorting industry. It is a unique and interesting place, so similar to many other personal service markets, but so profoundly different at the same time. I feel those that suggest it is unlike anything else are missing many lessons and market realities, similarly those that suggest it works like other industries, are also missing the massive points of difference and unique things about this variable, secret and incredibly diverse industry (or industries).

It is also frustrating, the level of ‘un-declared’ war that sometimes exists between providers and clients. A partnership at times, a war at others, something I spoke about in more detail in the my last article called ‘Siege Mentality’. My own treatment and some recent issues, made me feel ‘on the outside’ and tempted to write some darker pieces. I am not going to do that, I have decided not to engage in any ‘war’ or ‘dispute’, I can’t see how that helps anyone, and instead be an advocate for partnership and a voice for my journey and experience alone. I have described in this article how profound and amazing my experiences have been, how much they have impacted my whole life, my whole persona and my whole perspective. That is what my blog and my articles and my experiences are all about.

Even the negative aspects of the industry have beneficial lessons to teach. There are ‘experiences’ that happen every day around hustling, time-wasting by clients outside of bookings and sometimes by escorts inside them, secret back-channels and breaches of privacy, ethics, cases of extortion, issues of client and escort mental health, escorts that hate men, clients that hate and abuse escorts, people who abuse the system, the effect of poorly conceived laws and inconsistencies, crimes against escorts (mostly by men but sometimes by other escorts), in-fighting, jealousy, envy, manipulation, two-faced behaviours, passive aggressiveness, escorts managing and pimping other new escorts, chasing escorts for other business interests, the massive recent influx of new escorts, falseness, negligence, criminality and the dynamics of what quieter periods do to the overall health of the industry, and so on, and so on, and so on. Anyone who has been around for a while, sees some of these things and more – it is a big and very human industry after all. This paragraph is the end of my negativity, it is a expression of some of the things that have played on my mind in recent times, and with this admission, they are gone. This blog is returning to my experiences, my lessons, my journey and a celebration of why I am here and what is great about the industry.

I intend to stick firmly within the territory of what is great about my experiences and why I continue, despite some truly negative elements, to be an active client of escorts and seek out the richness of experience that this industry and this journey has to offer.

Thank you for your readership. Next articles will include some booking experiences, some guest experiences – more celebration and just the hint of wrestling with issues and emotions as I navigate my own path as a client. The experiential benefits are just far too rich and rewarding to get caught up in negativity for more than a brief moment.

Xx SP 20 June 2017.