OMG Escort Rates

One client’s perspective on escort rates – yes I went there!

Don’t talk about rates! Pay what is asked!

These are the two golden rules of rates when it comes to clients and escorts. Don’t talk about rates, don’t talk about rates, don’t talk about rates! Pay what is asked or walk away!

So why, in only my second blog article, am I tackling possibly the most controversial topic of all? Plus why did I come back on 3 May 2017 and again on 6 May 2018, and add some additional edits to this article? Am I crazy?

MoneyRates

Rates from one clients perspective.

Perhaps the third rule is ‘don’t discuss what role rates play’ in the escort and client dynamic and client’s decision making process. Now here is some territory that perhaps isn’t that well understood, because we never really talk about it. So remembering that this is only my perspective, here we go …

Why does an escort charge a certain rate?

At some level this is market forces at work, the same as almost any service industry, but with some major differences. A client normally doesn’t know, and shouldn’t know the basis of an individual escort’s rate decisions. Maybe the escort only wants a certain volume of bookings and lifts their price to reduce quantity, as a result maximising their earning potential from a lower volume approach. Maybe it is the opposite, and rates are lower to maximise the quantity of bookings and win new clients in a full-time, higher volume approach. That decision is private and largely secret and there are many personal factors involved.

There are a huge number of personal and business reasons for choosing a particular set of rates and that is entirely up to the escort – end of discussion. Something many clients (a couple of my own very early mistakes included) take some time to learn. As a client, when you would like to see a particular escort, and feel that their rate is higher than your payment comfort level – walk away – seriously, walk away … it is the only option. Almost no discussion past this point ever ends well.

Why does a client choose to book at certain rate(s)?

Again this is private for many of the same reasons: volume, personal finances, preferred booking format (duration and type) and again a host of other private reasons. So all I can speak to is my own experience. Over time I have settled into a preferred booking type (duration) that I mix around a little for both new experiences and some variety. I also have a preferred pricing rate, or more accurately a pricing range, that again I play around with from time to time. I am fairly comfortable with where I fit, and the type of escorts that I generally like to see.

The reason for the ‘format’ preference is that it works best for my personality, desires and comfort within a booking. The reason for the rate-range is that it is where most of the escorts I see regularly price their service. Purchasing comfort, and after a while a sense of fairness and loyalty, as much as anything else, keeps me largely within that preferred rate range.

Everyone’s range and preference is different, and they shouldn’t be shamed, just as every escort’s rate can be different, and they shouldn’t be shamed or questioned either. Both the escort’s pricing decisions and the client’s buying decisions should be respected – where they match bookings should occur, and where they don’t match, bookings should not occur. It’s pretty simple at that level, when we keep entitlement, jealousy, competitiveness and other comparisons out of the mix and decision process.

What are the signals given by rate choices?

There are however many signals given to prospective clients by selecting certain rates and rate structures. I say prospective clients, because rates are part of the escort’s ‘marketing mix’ before a client has seen that escort. After the first meeting, the price may be a future barrier or incentive to re-booking, but it isn’t simply about first-booking marketing any more. For prospective clients, the time lengths and booking selections on offer and their price differences ‘say something’ about the escort, their preferences and ‘booking type’ fit. Here are a couple of over-simplified examples.

If an escort has a reducing scale for longer bookings it tends to signal a preference for longer dates (compared to more hours being on the same unchanging hourly rate). If a dinner booking is significantly less than the same number of hours for a comparable straight booking, then it would seem to signal that dinner bookings are a preferred, or at least enjoyed booking type (especially if the escort says as much and talks about food and dining in their profile). If overnight and weekend rates have a significant reduction on the base hourly rate, then once again a signal is sent. This may not be true or even the deliberate intention of the escort, but it is the signal that is sent to a potential first time client in any case. These pricing signals combine with photos, bios, social media and other elements in the client’s selection of who they are going to try and book.

Value and cost, or if you prefer, the apparent hierarchy of escort rates?

This is possibly where most of the angst about rates comes from – what is an escort worth? How do they compare? What does a higher rate buy? I don’t like or even agree with any of these questions for the following reasons that I hope are obvious.

The escort-client booking is almost unique compared to most other financial transactions. The difference between a good experience and a bad experience is as far apart as any service can be. A client can spend the same amount of money with two escorts and have, in one case the best experience of their life, and in the other case an experience they would wish to forget – one is priceless, the other (at best) is a waste of money. For an escort, the gulf between good and bad is even more profound – it is the enormous gap between an enjoyable connection and putting their life at risk – the full range of possibilities that exist in human interaction, one is relatively easy money and the other is not worth any amount of money.

Put another way, one extreme asks the question – why wouldn’t everyone want to do this as a profession? The other extreme – why would anyone do this with such great potential risk attached? This dialogue leads into perceptions, society, bad clients, good clients, sexism and a host of topics for another time (which as at the time of updating this article over a year later, I still haven’t had the courage to tackle that many of these sensitive areas). Within these ranges, talk of ‘is it worth the money’ is almost nonsensical. Personally I have had many experiences that I will never forget and I have also had one or two rare ones, that I wish I had forgotten already – at those extremes, the value for money conversation makes no sense at all.

An escort is worth far more than their rate.

The range of experience and quality has very little to do with pricing and rate. It also varies enormously between one encounter where there is a good connection and another encounter where the client and escort simply don’t ‘click’. Depending upon needs, connection and a host of non-monetary ‘compatibility’ elements, the connection between escort and client is largely independent of rate. My experiences do not correlate at all with rate. I have had mind-blowing bookings with ‘lower-rate’ escorts and not-so-great ones with ‘higher-rate’ escorts. Really after the booking is made, a client should try and forget the rate and enjoy the ‘date’ as by that point, the amount spent has lost any relevance on the experience. The trick is finding where the balance lies and then sticking with it as much as possible – specifically the dynamic of ‘regulars’ (a topic I covered after this initial article, looking at rates and the impact on maintaining ongoing ‘regular’ client-escort connections).

So an escort chooses their rate as an earning and business decision, it is not a reflection of their value – any quality escort is ‘worth’ so much more than their ‘rate’. An escort is selling a service, provided personally for a set time – they are not selling themselves and as a result the rate is their pricing on the value of their service, it is not their personal value.

For a client, their spending rate is also a capacity and personal decision, it should not be seen as stating or inferring value and a good client knows that they are getting more than their money is worth, and for that reason, clients should ‘add value’ to the date. Clients should ‘bring additional value’ with manners, a nice environment, being at our best (attire, hygiene, cleanliness, sober and in a good frame-of-mind) and anything else that shows real value for another human being’s time, where money does not. Clients who think about ‘giving more than their money’ are generally going to get a far better experience, and the value and enjoyment is increased for both the client and escort alike.

More to say?

I had hoped to get into regulars, rate changes, discounting, gifts and other connected topics, but this is already too long an article, so more another day. A little of this was added later under ‘Discounts, promos and rates’ if you are interested in that follow up article. Obviously I am interested in your comments and thoughts. This is only my view, so please don’t get into heated debate. I am only speaking for myself and my experience, not for every client and certainly not for escorts – please add your perspective here in comments if you want or through discussion on Twitter.

Thanks so much for your readership!

Xx SP 7 March 2017 (article updated 3 May 2017 and again when republished on 6 May 2018).

Post-Booking Melancholy

Coming down from the high of seeing an escort.

Seeing an escort was wonderful – so why am I so sad?

What goes up, must come down. A useless saying, but in a sense it can be the simple truth of the emotional roller-coaster that we all ride.

I have chosen the word ‘melancholy’ to describe the mood that can follow an escort booking. Meaning a period of reflective sadness with no obvious cause, it is a feeling that I experience all too often. It is also one that both clients and escorts speak about, as we move between the awesome highs, and low lows of this amazing escort-client world. The phenomenon of ‘post-booking melancholy’.

CloudsRollIn

When the clouds roll in.

My bookings with escorts are one of the great joys in my life. Making a booking, the sense of anticipation in the lead-up to the meeting, that moment of meeting someone for the first-time are all adrenaline raising experiences. Other strong emotions appear when we reconnect with an adored regular, and of course the bookings themselves are all experiences that those of us who know them, feel sorry for the rest of the world that doesn’t. A client-escort booking is an amazing high, that builds, has a crescendo, and then a relatively hard landing as the real-world comes flooding back in to our ‘muggle’ lives.

Why do the French call an orgasm – ‘Le Petite Mort’?

The ‘Little Death’ can refer to the spiritual release that comes with orgasm and a feeling of melancholy or transcendence somewhat likened to death, or the death of a little part of us inside and the expenditure of life force. The whole ebb and flow of an escort booking can be considered in a similar way, with the peak at the booking and a ‘little death’ afterwards. As mentioned in previous articles, a post-booking contact of reinforcement can be similar to a hug or kiss or sign of affection after orgasm – one way of reducing the ‘little death’, but with or without that, a little part of you dies and the clouds roll in after the sun is gone.

Why purchases make us feel ecstatic and depressed simultaneously?

The wonderful Wikipedia will tell you that ‘Buyer’s Remorse’ or ‘post-purchase depression’ after major purchases comes “from a fear of making the wrong choice, guilt over extravagance, or a suspicion of having been overly influenced by the seller”. I guess these can certainly apply to the escort-client transaction, however in the case of this unique purchase, I would restate these three factors in the following ways …

The ‘gap’ until the next ‘high’.

The wrong choice is not a factor in melancholy for me. The whole ‘choice’ element has a different flavour, when the booking goes well, it is about ‘how long until I can meet this escort again’ and relive this wonderful experience. Since the reality is, like the day after Christmas, the moment straight after the booking is also the longest distance from the next booking – the next high. One way to reduce this cause of sadness is to ‘lock-in’ the next booking, as then the length of time is set and you have something to ‘look forward to’, and the escort also knows that you appreciated the last booking.

Spending money and financial constraints.

The guilt over extravagance is also not a factor as such. I am always conscious that I am a very fortunate person (although from humble beginnings) and being able to do what I do, being able to afford independent escorts on a relatively frequent basis already makes me both fortunate and extravagant. This guilt isn’t ‘post-booking’ it is ongoing and material for a future article, but for me it is not a part of the post-booking ‘down’ mood. I would imagine, that if I was not able to afford to see a wonderful escort for an extended period of time, or the booking resulted in some financial hardship, then this may well be a factor contributing to melancholy. Maybe in a way I feel guilty that this isn’t a regret factor for me.

The pain of choice and the rejection of alternate pathways.

Finally a ‘suspicion of being over influenced by the seller’ is an intriguing factor that I want to cover around both ‘seller influence’ and ‘suspicion’. Firstly ‘seller influence’ as it would translate to the choice on ‘who to book’. The choice is mine and if I allow that to be influenced, then the fault is mine if I am unhappy or fooled by the influence. So I understand this could be a factor, but for me it is about something else, it is about loyalty, opportunity, rejection and self-doubt.

After a great booking, I wonder about when I will see that wonderful escort next, however I also wonder about how long it will be until I see some other escorts that I feel strong connections with as well. This whole complicated ‘when and who’ conundrum is fraught with angst and emotion. Every choice made seems to close the door on all of the other scenarios and I feel some subtle distress, I guess we can call it melancholy, at this pain of ‘selection’.

Put another way, there are a few escorts I would see as much as I could and some others I really want to see again at some stage. Every booking is a choice that includes one of those pathways being fulfilled and all of the others being rejected. I know ‘rejected’ is a harsh word, but it explains the weird guilt and deprivation that I feel. Guilt in choosing one escort over another and deprivation in not being able to fulfill all of my selfish personal desires. The moment after the enjoyment of one booking is when both the guilt and deprivation are at their strongest. In a way, the pain of choice is also brought back into the picture as the certainty of a ‘single booking’ moment in time concludes and choices once again have to be made.

My insecurities get their moment.

So finally suspicion. I hope that this is just a reflection of my personal insecurities and weaknesses, I fear however that it is a shared human condition. In the ‘time bubble’ of a booking, there is a purity of place, time and emotion, the perfect chance to get out of one’s own head and shut those demons up for a brief and wondrous moment in time.

In the time that passes afterwards, I doubt myself, I doubt the moment, my insecurities re-assert themselves and the darker voices tell me that it wasn’t as good as it felt, the moment was a lie, my part is done and I am rightfully forgotten. I suspect that I am not as special as I felt, that the escort despises me as another tragic, entitled, middle-aged buffoon. Worst of all, I wonder if I am ignorant of the lies I tell myself.

It is easy to listen to the negative.

The perverse irony of the universe is that the stronger the high from the booking, or the closeness I have with the escort, the stronger my subsequent insecurity is likely to be. This is as honest as I can be, a window to everyone that the ‘apparent strength of a successful middle aged man’ is all a facade, there is a little boy cowering behind the curtain hoping that someone, somewhere, actually likes him just a little and thinks about him without disgust.

If any reason existed for me to stop seeing escorts entirely it is because of this easy to trigger insecurity. I have stopped seeing some escorts under circumstances where I couldn’t suspend my disbelief anymore, because the evidence of disdain or dislike was too strong. These escort break-ups are their own special form of ‘Le Petite Mort’, killing me a little inside each time, because in my mind I am that same worthless person that they see. The longer you are at this activity, the more ‘breakdowns’ there will be, and if these trigger insecurity, then the load builds with each addition to the negative internal voices.

Wow, that was full-on!

So, not wanting to end this article in the depths of ‘post-booking melancholy’, what can we do about it if it exists for more people than just me. Firstly book ahead, the process of making a booking can re-start the pathway toward another ‘sunny day’ and build a sense of positive anticipation.

Tell the escorts that you care about how special they are, this may not rid all the guilt of loyalty and selection, but hopefully it is good for the sender and a pleasant thing for the receiver. Try to hear the messages of love, worth, support and value and dismiss the negative ones, whether they are from others or the more insidious ones we tell ourselves. Send communications, I know that I’ve said it before to what has been mixed reception, but as long as discretion, privacy, security, marketing and business conditions are met, send post-booking communications to reduce ‘the little death’.

The escort perspective?

I have also been told that many escorts feel this same post-booking sensation at times, and with certain clients. If you have been reading my articles, you know I am reluctant to (read as: will never) say anything on behalf of escorts, but I think the important point here is that it’s better to treat escorts as though they feel the same emotional roller-coaster than it is to treat them as having resolved these feelings and as a result don’t feel any emotion toward their client. I would rather try and do no harm and ‘believe’ what I felt, than protect my heart from ‘dying a little’ when I discover those distressing instances where I really was just an another anonymous punter with a payment.

I was just not built to be cynical or harsh and would rather be hurt than cause hurt, for me that is a far better way to walk through life. I am interested in client and escort perspectives, but remember this one is just my own, one boy behind a curtain.

Thank you for your readership. I look forward to any comments and feedback and appreciate any sharing of these articles.

Xx 🌺 SP 23 March 2017 (article updated 14 May 2017 and again 15 April 2018).

Becoming a Client

The journey of one client – how did it begin?

Why did I become a client of escorts?

Everyone has a ‘how did it begin’ story. Clients, and much of the world at large are interested in how escorts began their journey. Less interesting is how clients began, but since it ‘takes two-to-tango’, here is the story of one of them – me.

When I started as a client, it was the mid-point of a part of my life-journey that is still unfolding. Many of the causes I didn’t realise at the time, and I’m sure many of them I’m still to learn and appreciate, but this is what I know so far.

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What was happening when I first booked an escort?

It was the convergence of a few things, each with their own timeline. Firstly, I hit an age where there are more days behind me than days left in front of me – no matter what I like to tell myself. Secondly, I was traveling a lot for work, and spending many, many lonely nights in glamorous hotels. Finally, I was not happy in many parts of my life, including within the intimate, sexual, love and friendship aspects of my life – and this had been the case for a very long time.

I guess this is not uncommon and is almost a text-book (if there was a text-book) case of both a mid-life-crisis as well as an on-ramp to booking the services of Escorts. Despite this, it did take a long time for me to gain both the inclination and the courage to make that first booking – I put up with this scenario for a long time, years in fact. Against these forces, I was building a successful business, bringing up children, putting on weight and telling myself I was doing a good job. Telling myself that I was happy, lucky and successful. I wasn’t happy!

The trigger (or catalyst).

A close friend of mine died suddenly of a heart attack. Like me he was under-50 and had shared a very similar life. A close circle of us were dramatically impacted, and we all had the natural response of thinking, that could very easily have been me. You make an assessment of where you stand in a moment like that – and I didn’t like how that self-assessment looked.

I had so many things that I wanted to do. Things I had been putting off. I wanted to travel, see shows, sports, and places that I hadn’t got around to seeing yet. I wanted to make mad, passionate love, try sexual things that I had not yet experienced, and find out sexually what I liked. Yes, I had been out of sexual intimacy for so long, that I didn’t even know what I wanted or liked anymore, or even what was possible. I didn’t even know my body properly (a story for a future article) and believed personal image things about myself that I’ve since learned were not actually true. I wanted a shot at being young again, before it was forever too late.

The ‘on-ramp’ to booking escorts.

Initially I did make changes. I told myself, in very clear terms, that I needed to be selfish. I needed to take time away from work and home that was just for me, and realise that things I had been telling myself were ‘for me’, were actually just things I needed to do because of the world I had built around myself. Learning to be a bit more self-centered may come easily to some people – it remains a difficult path for me. I fight guilt at having a secret life and focusing on my own enjoyment above the needs of others.

In the early days, I went along to a strip-club while traveling with some work connections – something I normally refused or managed to avoid. I also went for non-sexual massages and then later some more deliberately erotic ones – although I’m yet to experience Nuru – something still for the ‘bucket-list’ (actually since the original article – I have ticket this experience off). I also watched more porn, not that I hadn’t before, and in retrospect, it wasn’t porn that I needed, it was deeper human contact and intimacy.

After a few strip-club visits, I met a dancer who would meet me at my hotel after her shift. Our arrangement was that I bought her room service dinner and paid the equivalent of a one-hour private dance. At the start it was a private dance (only) and then a late dinner (well more an early breakfast) and lots of talking. Later it was just talking and eating as the dance was only an excuse for me to have her with me as company, rather than being always alone.

We spoke about how stripping worked around the world, her immigration issues, our friends, our lives, our current issues, and what we wanted to achieve in our lives. This only lasted a few months, before I realised that I actually needed the sex too, and that wasn’t part of our arrangement. Every sex industry participant has their line, the area that is comfortable for them, and their boundaries. We wished each other well.

Booking my first escort.

Having decided that I was going to see an escort, I did what I always do, try to gather some knowledge. Early in my ‘research’, I came across the relatively new (at the time) Scarlet Blue website. I decided that of all of the avenues I had found online so far, it seemed to suit me the best. Their approach was clear and straight-forward and the way the escorts were marketed to prospective clients seemed to have some elegance and strong support of the workers, devoid of some of the sleazier and more degrading things I had come across elsewhere on the Internet.

I took my time trying to decide who I should meet first, and I observed a number of escorts through their social media activity, trying to get a little bit of a clue as to what they might be like in person. Eventually I made my choice and sent a text message request to the escort I wanted to see – even that was a nerve wracking moment.

Booking request.

I knew nothing (John Snow – sorry couldn’t help insert the Game of Thrones reference here). In fact less than nothing. I didn’t know if what I was doing was legal or illegal. I had no understanding of the etiquette, rules, and whether I would actually be meeting the person I thought I would be meeting. I was actually the most nervous about being a middle-aged guy meeting a beautiful young woman.

My text message must have been hilarious. It was too long, too much irrelevant detail, too confused on when and where, and most of all went into great lengths asking if I was an acceptable client, being middle aged, overweight, inexperienced and nervous. I wish I still had the text and the response – it would be amusing to so many of you. All I can say is that the escort was a true professional and put my mind at ease immediately. Obviously she thought the ‘age and fitness’ stuff was hilarious, but simply told me that made me a perfectly average client for her. The booking was made and I was due to see my first escort on my next interstate trip, about three weeks in the future.

My first booking.

During those weeks, I got called interstate again. Sitting bored in a hotel room, and having already committed to this path, I made a short notice booking with another escort. The booking didn’t go well. It was a combination of nerves, in-compatibility and some other aspects that weren’t clear to me at the time. I discovered later that the escort I saw was having major personal issues and shortly after our booking left Australia for good.

It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good on a number of subtle levels and it would have prevented me from continuing as a client, if it wasn’t for the other booking that I felt I needed to honour. I don’t want to detail the issues of the first booking, they may be too identifiable, but I went into my second booking with even more nerves and trepidation.

My second booking.

Really my first booking, but my second escort meeting, it was the exact opposite of the first – it was amazing. The escort who arrived was exactly, no let me restate that, far better in real-life than in her profile. She greeted me affectionately, was a little nervous herself, bubbly, chatty and a real ‘presence’ in the hotel lobby. It was a three-hour booking, and ended up with two intimate sessions interspersed by us taking a break for some room service.

The exact memory of it is fading a little with time, but little things stand out. Smiles, time in the shower, great kissing, giggling and some real intimacy. Authentic openness about our lives, what we liked, and the rapid rush to intimacy that all the great first bookings have as a part of their dynamic. I was hooked, I was a client of that wonderful escort (and I was a client of hers for a long time, until her retirement), and I was also addicted to being a client of Escorts more generally.

Like a lot of us clients, we owe so much to the escorts that take us by the hand and show us the ropes, in a way, it is like loosing your virginity all over again. In my case, I owe my companion so much. She continued to see me, teach me, and support me along this wild journey as other companions have since. If there is such a thing as a modern-day muse, then I chose my first escort well, even after her retirement, she remains a source of inspiration for me still.

Hooked as a client.

I have fulfilled many of the ‘selfish’ ambitions I set for myself. I have traveled, I have seen and done more, but perhaps most of all I have become an ongoing client of the independent escort industry and of some specific escorts in particular. Almost all of my experiences are amazing and the escorts I continue to see are unique and I adore them each in their own way. There are many other stories for future articles, so far I have included becoming ‘Addicted to Escorts’ and ‘Why Multiple Escorts?’, however there are so many other aspects and stages of the journey, but for now, that is the story of how this one person became a client. I think just one more thing needs to be said …

What being a client means?

My life is not fully sorted, after all it is a journey. Being a client also means I have two lives – a secret one that I can only speak about with industry participants and here on these pages, and the ‘muggle’ one that I continue to live within as well. I guess some people, escorts and clients, can merge these two worlds, but many of us, again both clients and escorts, have to keep them apart (the subject of how we are all ‘Secret Keepers’ is covered in another article on this blog).

As a client, I have become happier (and at times sadder – it can be a roller-coaster of emotions), I have lost a significant amount of weight, become healthier and I think I am slowly becoming a better lover, friend and person. I still have lots of things I want to experience, now that my eyes have been opened to some of what is possible. I am still a ‘babe in the woods’ as far as the sexual experience side of the journey goes, but I have ambitions to learn more and experience more.

I also think my views on many things are changing (topics for another article). I don’t think most humans have their intimate, sexual and spiritual worlds worked out. Most of us are captive in a restrictive, false and hurtful model. This industry can’t change that alone, but I think it gives many of its participants other pathways that should become more mainstream.

I am not giving up being a client – it would seem like someone who has seen a glimpse of the future going back to a world they know is broken. I think that because this ‘secret world’ has moments that are so pure and amazing, it also creates connections that are equally powerful. My challenge is to find balance and not attach too much meaning and need to the connections that I experience. That is hard, because the majority of escorts are simply the most amazing people that anyone could ever hope to meet!

Thank you for reading. Sharing, comments and your readership is greatly appreciated. Thank you also to the wonderful companions that still share time with me and continue to teach me, make me feel alive and share intimate moments with me.

Xx SP 23 April 2017 (article updated 28 May 2017 and again 8 April 2018).

Adventure

The thrill of the journey – focusing on having fun!

This should all be fun!

Why would a client book an escort if it wasn’t for enjoyment? This is a question worth asking yourself over and over again. There are lots of other factors that can creep into a client’s head – past history, guilt, expectation, wanting to impress the companion, and a host of other reasons that are probably ‘bad thinking’.

If you read my blog before these articles were republished, then you know I like to explore issues with personal meaning. That can appear as dark, brooding and over-thinking. Time for a break! For this article, it is about the sheer fun and adventure of seeing an escort. Plus now that I’m back revisiting these articles, I am in a much more positive space.

AdventureCocktail

Why did I see my first escort?

I had a life trigger that made me ask, was I having fun? The answer, no matter how I tried to convince myself otherwise was ‘No’. I was in the all too common situation of doing what I had to do at work and at home, and not really doing anything selfish, anything that was truly for me and for me alone. I guess that classic description is a ‘mid-life crisis’, it doesn’t matter what you call it or when it happens – I decided I was going to be selfish and do some things just for me!

My decision included more travel, more events, spending money on things I wanted and buying some ‘entanglement free’ sex and companionship. I say ‘entanglement free’ in inverted commas, because it is two human beings and there is no such thing as ‘entanglement free’ as a lot of the articles in my blog explore in detail. If those conversations interest you, try ‘Becoming a Client’, ‘Sex and Guilt’, and ‘Hurt Feelings’, those articles go into more detail on the inevitable ‘entanglements’.

The point here, is that we should keep going back to ‘what makes it fun’, the reason I became a client and also the reason why so many of my early bookings were fun. I was naive, no entanglements had developed, it was new, fresh, exciting and fun. If you have been doing this for a while like I have, then there may come times along the journey to re-focus on the pure enjoyment of spending some quality time and having fun with an amazing escort.

Best times and best moments!

I have had the best moments in my life with escorts, and by that I mean the most fun. There is a subtle but important difference between ‘times’ and ‘moments’. My best times are extended life experiences of achievement, family, children and other elements in the overall journey of life. My best moments however are short, memorable, joyous ‘bubbles’ that are usually unexpected and surprising.

Seeing an escort, at its best, can create these ‘memory bubbles’, moments of near perfection that sit alone – within, but aside, from the regular year-after-year flow of one’s life. Most of the ‘moments’ that return to my mind in quiet reflection are with escorts – they are the closest thing I have to pure selfish fun! They have even made it into my dreams on many occasions, sort of an ‘on-demand’ replay bonus by an unreliable video player – that doesn’t always play the memory that you want.

I have been fortunate to be able to recount some of these moments of pure perfection here, in the stories ‘Harbour Lights’, ‘Degustation Dream’, and ‘Holiday Hideaway’. There have been others too, some I am yet to write, others that the escort involved would prefer were unspoken, and no doubt, some more to come.

What is an ‘escort adventure’ for me?

One of the reasons that I prefer dinner-dates (or longer format bookings), is to shoot for the stars on a combination of great food, drinks, company, conversation, connection and sex. That is six factors, if you want to think about it like that, that all need to go right – seven if you are crazy enough to add an experience (show, concert, trip or event) into the mix. Get a few of them right, at the same time, and it makes for a great date, and most escort meetings are ‘great dates’. Get most of them together and it makes for an unforgettable memory. Get them all perfect and it is like the ‘holy grail’, one of those perfect moments you just want to capture, bottle and stare at for the rest of eternity. Those ‘Unicorn’ moments of course I remember the best.

The fact that this mix has been perfect for me – all six from six – on eight occasions, yes I know exactly how many, because they are moments that I will never forget, is probably the answer to why I am a client of escorts for the long haul. (update note: the number is now even higher, but from this update, I am not giving a ‘number’ any longer). Those sort of experiences are addictive – the things that quests and crusades are created from. I am greedy for more moments of pure bliss and the many other ‘close calls’ (often only a slight miss due to other external factors – out of the control of the escort or myself) that are still amazing dates and needless to say, the best money, and moments in time, that I have ever spent. There is of course the risk that you start expecting ‘near perfection’, something to be very careful of, as it can ruin wonderful connections.

Some moments of perfection!

A second ‘date’ of perfection with a perfect degustation, beautiful wines, stimulating conversation and unbridled sex that neither of us were willing to let end. A night at the ballet, a room upgrade, fine food and one of the smartest, sweetest and radiant women I have ever met. My muse, free-spirit and inspiration, dining with the harbour lights with perfect food and cocktails and an easiness of connection that is always totally disarming. A public holiday, spent alone in the company of a most amazing woman, while the clock almost stopped. Four dates of perfection that I will never forget. I would add some of the other stories with these and other equally amazing escorts, but I think the idea is sufficiently expressed for this article. I need to save some stories for another day, and these four stories are already links, mentioned elsewhere in this blog.

Out-of-booking entanglements.

I am enriched in my life from the connection, friendships, contact, support, advice and other positive ‘entanglements’ that wonderful escorts have offered, and that I have gratefully accepted and hopefully reciprocated. I have also had negative ‘entanglements’ of jealousy, guilt, malicious attack, money grabbing and emotional blackmail, this is all completely human. In my darker moments I have not been completely innocent on this front either, as doubts and emotions play their wicked game. It is however a trap – a trap that can take us away, both client and escort, from the part of this industry, these engagements, these dates or bookings, that should be primarily about pure fun and enjoyment.

Just after I first published this article, I had another new adventure that did not involve escort bookings. I took my first short break from bookings since I started on this journey, and set off to experience a different kind of fun. It is always good to have a break, reassess and examine where you are. I even wondered whether after a hiatus I would return at all? Well as you can see from the articles since, my ‘Hiatus Perspective’, reinforced the joy I had in seeing escorts and re-booking some amazing women that I adore. It was also a great re-focus on the core idea of fun, enjoyment and experience.

I am back to the adventure of seeing escort companions. I am continuing to try to shed or manage the few negative entanglements that still remain, embracing the positive ones for as long as they are offered, and I will make some more of those ‘holy-grail’ moments of perfection happen again.

Here is to each and every one of you enjoying the adventure and having fun!

Thank you so much for your readership. Please share, comment, give me feedback and tell me about your own motivations and adventures. In the ‘re-publishing’ of this blog, I decided to re-do this piece as my second article, as it is a great scene setter for the positivity of the client-escort experience.

Plus in seeing Lana Del Rey perform in concert tonight, I wanted to celebrate the person who started this whole journey for me, the person who introduced me to LDR and the person who always reminded me … it is meant to be a fun adventure! “I don’t even think of you that often …”.

Xx SP 24 March 2017 (article updated 15 May 2017 and again on 31 March 2018).

My journey, a beginning

Why this blog? My journey as a client of sex-workers.

A little on my reasons for writing.

This article (originally from 6 March 2017 and adjusted slightly when republished on 31 March 2018) was a beginning for me — in the sense of talking publicly, and in a longer article format, about my experiences. The emotions, humour, sadness, loneliness, encounters and the nature of being a client of sex-workers.

I am not claiming any special experience, insights or right to speak. Although I am not new to seeing escorts, I am not suggesting my experience is the same as the experiences of anyone else, nor am I speaking on behalf of anyone else. My story is mine alone, with all the limits of my personal flaws, prejudices and emotional constraints.

(Note: This introduction post has had a little update on 31 March 2018, after a further 61-blog posts written over the year that followed the original launch of the this blog. Key themes haven’t changed much, but it is now, once again the first article, as I relaunch this platform. Welcome, or as the case may be, welcome back.)

Bedroom

Deciding to start a blog.

I am a lonely middle-aged Australian. I started seeing primarily private escorts a little more than two years ago, and I have had the wonderful privilege to have been able to make a relatively large number of bookings during this period. That doesn’t make me an expert on anything, in fact the more I experience, the less I realise I actually know. Plus my mind changes all the time on what I think about this journey!

The articles that I intend to write are primarily personal experiences. Strange things, beautiful things, bad behaviour, good behaviour, the range of experiences, post booking melancholy, post booking joys, the challenges and joys of being a regular, falling in love, setting expectations and most of all, how I have felt while I have traveled upon this journey.

Beginnings as a client of escorts.

My actual entry as a client of sex-workers is boringly vanilla. I only admitted to myself later that it is a sort-of rolling mid-life-crisis. The event that happens commonly when what is left of one’s life is shorter than what is behind. In this moment one may find, as I did, that they are unhappy with where they find themselves and their experiences. Such a life change, is often a dramatic one, including the desire to grab hold of youth and rich experience, before the chance is gone for good. My actual ‘entry’ story is detailed more in ‘Becoming a Client’.

I knew less than zero about seeing escorts and the industry more broadly. I had no idea how to make an initial approach, the law, the etiquette. I was also overweight, sexually inexperienced and racked with stress from both the ‘secret life’ as well as other external factors in my life at the time.

Despite all of this, seeing sex-workers has been one of the best choices I ever made and has left me with exactly what I wanted, in the midst of a mid-life-crisis, the feeling that I had new experiences and memories that would stay with me. My journey has had amazing moments, challenging ones and I am still resolving many of the emotions. I also continue learning more about both the industry and being a decent human being, in this strange new ‘double-life’ of mine. In the year since I started this blog, I have also learned from the people, clients and sex-workers, who have engaged with me about it.

Purpose of this blog.

My intention with this blog is to write as topics come to mind (the initial year has seen a fairly large quantity of articles – that I am about to republish). I hope to explore topics and experiences of meaning and significance to me. This is part of my process of working out what I have learned (and still have yet to learn or experience), internalizing it and seeing what others think about these same topics. If any of it is of interest, makes you think, or want to share a comment, then that is a great outcome.

I reiterate what I said on the ‘about’ page, that no personal information, secrets or identifiable information is going to be published here, without the full and complete approval of anyone mentioned! However I am going to get into complex emotions and the best and worst of my experiences and observations – warts and all (with suitable time and fact changes to ensure everyone’s protection, including my own).

I hope that you enjoy the blog, share your comments and let me know what you think. In addition to where I started this journey, I may also add some guest contributors, who have offered to write some future content as well. I hope that you find it interesting.

Xx – SP 6 March 2017 (updated – 1 May 2017 and again on 31 March 2018).

sydneyskyline

Dancing on Air

Remembering a wonderful night at the Ballet with an Angel …

Recently I have been reminiscing on past companion bookings, remembering how amazingly lucky I have been as a client of Escorts. It has been a while since I have written such a ‘perfect booking’ recount, and in my mind at least, this story is long overdue.

This was the fourth time I had met this most amazing companion, four months in a row since our initial meeting. It is hard to choose which story to tell, there have been so many amazing moments, but I think this captures how I feel as well as any of the other stories.

WhiteWine

The Day Arrives

This fourth meeting had been in planning for a little while. Dinner, a night at the Ballet and then some time together afterwards. I arrived at the hotel in Melbourne early, to get ready, to find that the hotel had given me a significant room upgrade to a large suite. I still get excited about the more amazing hotel rooms, and this was a great one!

We knew each other well enough, and I sent a short video walk-through of the room to my evening’s companion. Admittedly a badly disguised attempt to see if perhaps a slightly earlier pre-dinner drink in such palatial surrounds might be tempting. I guess many clients share their excitement about what they consider to be an impressive booking, in a misguided but well-meaning attempt to either impress their companion, or to garner a little more time. This is not great client behaviour, and I was still early in my journey, but it is certainly understandable human behaviour. She was onto me, and whether tempted or not, sent the professional “I’m excited to see you” message, very kind, but clear that we would meet as planned.

Well I was happy with that, and took my time getting ready and still making good use of the very lovely room. A spa bath, some music, soaking in the view, and feeling like a king. Letting the anticipation of the evening ahead with an adored companion wash over me.

Dinner

I wandered down, relaxed and well prepared to the restaurant that I had booked for the evening. I ordered a wine that I knew from past experience my companion would enjoy, one that had become a favorite of mine as well. My companion was fashionably late, that is her way, but not enough for me to feel anything but a growing sense of anticipation.

She arrived and took my breath away. That happened the first meeting, it still happens now, every single time, it’s like a wave of euphoria just passes over me and I can’t help but smile like a teenage boy. It seemed that we picked up from where we had left off a month before. Comfortable, relaxed, intimate and unhurried conversation. Some laughs, a couple of wines and a lovely meal, that to be honest I have forgotten – I wasn’t concentrating on the food. I never do, that is why more often than not, I let my companion order for us – and I just bask in the glow of her company.

We left a little later than we should have, and we had to race along the Yarra River towards the Art Centre on a lovely Spring Evening. There were a lot of people around, and the atmosphere on the banks of the river was wonderful, not that we had much time to soak it in, we had a Ballet to get to.

A night at the Ballet

We were late, we were locked out, and we had to stand with the group of other ‘naughty people’ who had dared to be late. They were mostly older women and I was enjoying the disapproving looks that I was getting. Me, a middle aged man, with a taller, far more wonderful younger woman – exactly the sort of visual image to attract their scowling looks. I could almost imagine hearing their disapproval, but it was a feeling, not actual words. My companion didn’t seem to notice or care. She seemed truly excited to be at the Ballet, having training herself as a child. She was so amazingly lovely to me, holding my arm in close intimate proximity, like we were really dating, with a glowing smile on her face. Not a Girlfriend Experience, but the dream of having a girlfriend who is truly enjoying the company of her boyfriend – it was a rare, rare moment of forgetting and actually feeling part of someone’s real affection – and wow it hit me really hard – I am missing this affection in my life.

We were shuffled quietly into special seats, high up at the theater, a spot for the naughty late comers that wouldn’t interrupt the show or the other patrons. It was a novelty to have such a birds-eye view. We were close together, I could smell her wonderful perfume, made a little stronger by our rush to get to the venue. She had a beautiful glow on her forehead and her open shoulders were exposed by her amazing dress – I just wanted to stay in that moment forever. I was watching her, as she was watching the first act of the Ballet, and I was enraptured. I had strong feelings for this companion from our very first meeting, but in that moment I felt that if I wasn’t very careful, very, very careful, those feelings were going to get rapidly out of hand. Becoming far stronger than is appropriate for the nature of the Escort-client relationship.

After the first break, we were allowed to move to our original seats, to more scowls and looks of disgust from the nearby patrons. Seriously though, who in my shoes cares about being late to the Ballet when they have a companion like that – no wonder they were scowling, it is jealousy and envy writ large, and I was enjoying that too.

The Ballet was Nijinsky, a celebration of the famous Russian male ballet dancer. As such it was a showcase for male dancers with rather modern and acrobatic dance. Those guys are seriously built and amazingly impressive physical and artistic specimens. It was a weird and surreal feeling, to be looking at my glamorous companion, as she watched these amazing men dance. So many feelings for me, that I don’t really remember the performance, but I do remember how I felt. I have had many weird dream sequences since, that pick up parts of that night.

The Encore

The Ballet finished and we made our way back to the hotel. Wow, for me at least, the love making and intimacy was amazing. I was very ready, I had been smelling my companion’s perfume for hours, and looking at her and enjoying her, as she enjoyed the entertainment of the night. My memory here too has passed more into feelings than detail. We may have had better and more adventurous sexual encounters in other bookings, but that night was a perfect match for the emotion and feeling of the evening as a whole complete experience. I remember feeling so satisfied and completely at ease, that it is hard to see it as anything but a perfect evening – it was perfect!

Afterwards we spoke. I was in an amazing afterglow. Weirdly one of the conversations was around marriage proposals that my companion had received from past clients. I am really not surprised. Strangely I envied them putting their request to her so bravely, as no doubt the person who finally receives a yes response, is going to be one of the luckiest men alive. Weird how strange things like this can trigger emotions that we don’t expect and envy can be a strange emotion. I asked, jokingly of course, why she had turned them down, and what, you know, for arguments sake, would it take to get a yes?

I was listening intently to the lighthearted answer, what was going to be needed to ‘sweeten the deal’ and turn a ‘no’ into a ‘yes’. Sorry, of course I’m not telling you – that is one of my most valued secrets. I’m working on it, you know, just in case there is ever a chance.

I had to leave. I left my companion with the room if she wanted it, just for her own ‘time out’ in such a wonderful space. I doubt whether she stayed for very long. The next morning I returned to check out of the hotel, and to have breakfast, before heading into my office. That too was a lovely little surprise. To still catch the scent of her perfume and lie for a few moments on the sheets we had been on the night before, was a lovely way to re-live a little of the night and extend the connection just a little longer.

We have had a number of experiences since and more to come, I hope. They have been wonderful, and many deserve their own story as well. However our ‘Night at the Ballet’, a night where I felt like I was dancing on air, early in our journey together is one of my highlights of being a client of escorts. It was a night I will never forget, with a person that I will never forget.

I hope you don’t mind me returning to some booking stories. This is one I have wanted to write for a while, and I have others I would like to share with you, and again with myself before the memories begin to fade. Thank you for letting me share this story.

Xx SP 11 January 2018

Client-Escort Karma

The impact of trading emotion for money – risks of burn out!

Trading Intimacy for Money has some Balancing Problems!

Money buys food, food lets you expend energy, energy lets you earn money, money buys you more food! That is the modern-day ‘hunter-gatherer’ cycle. In a similar way, escorts give clients intimacy, sex and companionship – an emotional ‘deduction’ – and in return receive a monetary payment. What happens when the ’emotional deductions’ add up? You can’t go without food forever, and you can’t go without emotional sustenance forever either!

This is going to be a very special and unusual article for me (Percie Blakeney), as the idea, and the co-authorship, go to a currently working escort that wishes to remain anonymous. This is a client and an escorts opinion – it is a co-written piece – and the entire credit for the idea goes to the escort, who like many escorts, suffers from an emotional deficit after giving so much emotional support to her clients!

MorningMessage

The ‘Swiss-Cheese’ or ‘Cookie-Cutter’ Effect.

My co-writer first noticed a particular ’emotional deficit’ effect after 6-months of escorting. Later, after discussions with other escorts, she found that the problem was common place. The offering of ‘companionship’ and authentic emotional support to clients, without a similar ’emotional credit’ coming back the other way, was leading to emotional problems and a sense of being ‘burned out’ by the constant giving. This giving may result in a financial return (earning a living), but you can only give so much of yourself without finding avenues for replacement, rejuvenation, refreshment and personal recharging. We all need emotional sustenance!

An Escort’s Example (from My Co-Author).

I came to escorting quite late in life and with great determination to make it work for financial reasons. I also gained a regular clientele very quickly including some very emotionally challenging clients. It has been said to me, that the experiences I have had, could send even a more experienced lady around the twist. However they have also allowed me great financial freedom so I am not complaining but simply noticing a particular personal effect.

I am by nature a very empathetic person, to a degree that is sometimes to my detriment. When confronted by a person hurt or in need, my natural instinct is to give of myself in both a practical and emotional sense. In my real life, this has left me hurt and in some very poor personal situations, it has impacted my life path significantly. Despite this, I still believe firmly in empathy and love as the two most powerful forces in the world. For the long term good of humanity, these are the two forces with the power to take us to better times.

As I began to escort I was struck by how many stressed and tightly wound up men walked through my door. I noticed how they walked in stressed and tense and I could actually make them relax and ease their state of mind quite deliberately with a calm manner, a cool drink, calming music, lighting and ears, above all ears. You may facetiously say it was boobs and bum that helped, but no I believe that it is the listening and nurturing, the caring and giving, that gives the most relief and calming influence to these men.

The intimacy created by the exchange of conversation leads to a far greater physical intimacy. In the beginning I noticed so many of these men were talking about deeper feelings for me and I wasn’t sure what was happening. I was overwhelmed. Several situations got out of hand emotionally and caused distress. I would feel and still do feel these waves of connection and empathy as I soothed and satisfied my visitors and I realised in time that each of them was taking a cookie cutter and making vacuous holes in my soul. My ‘soul’ was having pieces slowly taken from it, in the analogy of a ‘cookie cutter’ or ‘Swiss cheese’.

The ‘Out-Of-Balance’ Transaction!

I was giving to these clients, but only in rare cases was any care taken in return for my emotional needs. This is understandable as I was being paid for a service. But the thing was that I was giving emotionally in a very real sense, I had little or nothing in the way of barriers or emotional protection around me. I didn’t know how to have barriers. Every man was taking ‘cookie cutter size shapes’ out of me until I was more empty than full, just like a sheet of cookie dough once the biscuits are stamped out.

This left me, and has left other escorts I have spoken to, feeling hollow and needing replenishing. This awful feeling of neediness, which is perhaps one of the most dangerous places for an escort mentally, builds and builds over time. We look around for the emotional replenishment that we seek, tenderness, a kiss on the forehead, slow tender and giving sex, and sometimes it places us in the line of sight of manipulative clients who can take even more emotionally from our deplenished reserves.

Clients who play on this emotional neediness can be very dangerous. I believe this is where sadly some ‘at risk’ escorts lose the battle with their mental health. It takes great strength to reflect on this effect, and to see clearly what is happening to yourself emotionally. To take stock and learn, to be a giving empathetic companion, who is able to open the gates of intimacy and then close them again, and find ways to recharge and rebuild the spirit and keep operating within a healthy mental state.

Ways of Operating.

Many surf on the top of these waves successfully with a more emotionally superficial connection to clients. Those of us who dive beneath the waves into murky waters of genuinely loving connections, we can quickly gain very devoted clients and grow our business, but we also run the risk of this emotional cookie cutter syndrome. If we (escorts) allow ourselves to be become emotionally drained, then we can become so empty, that the hollowness makes us look for emotional solutions where they do not lie.

Client and Industry Responsibilities.

When you next see an escort, remember that if she is a certain type of private escort whose is deeply conversing and connecting, she is opening her soul on a certain level to you. Remember that she is vulnerable, not physically or because she is weak but because she is giving and loving. The emotional things that the client needs, endorsement, companionship, care, listening, connection, she is giving those of herself and may need some element of them in return. No one can give away their emotional reserves in this way forever without reciprocation and recharging.

Remember that as you enjoy from her the things that you need, sexual release, a shoulder to cry on, listening ears to hear your troubles, and arms to absorb your tension, remember to give back a little. Remember this is not simply a financial transaction, on a certain level it is an emotional exchange between two human beings, and to be the best it can be, it must be a two way exchange.

This article is one escorts story and one clients retelling and endorsement of what happens in the more emotional connections that occur in this industry, within this secret world. The opinion is that of a successful escort and it resonated deeply for me, so I felt it was something that might be meaningful for other clients and escorts as well. As you can imagine this was a difficult and emotional piece to write, so please respect my guest co-author’s anonymity in relation to this article and the opinions expressed here.

As always, thanks so much for your readership. Comments, feedback and sharing are greatly appreciated.

Xx SP 26 June 2017 (with humble thanks to my co-author).