OMG are you crazy?
In a word – yes! Talking about sex-worker rates is always dangerous territory. All those jumbled up concepts of market forces, value, personal determination, competition and client expectation. What a minefield!
Since I said in my earlier piece on Escort Rates that I would discuss regular’s rates, rate changes, and discounting in a later article, a few people have called me out on that commitment. So here it is, Escort Rates Part 2 – discounts, promos, rate changes and regulars. Almost certain to get a wide variety of comments!
Discounting and Promotions.
I can see that this can be a valuable tool for any business, escorts included. As a client however, I do not book escorts on discounts and promotions (at least not anymore). There is a simple reason for this. I have a comfort level for rates, just as I do for restaurants, wine and most discretionary luxury items, and it is fantastic when those brands, products and services discount. But here is the rub, those things are not people.
I make a booking with escorts where the expectation is that I might make a connection and then re-book, maybe many, many more times. If an escort is only in my price bracket once, and I really like them, then I have a problem. They aren’t really in my part of the market and I either become a future cheapskate or uncomfortable with the rate – either way is a bad outcome that is best avoided from the start. Now clearly not everyone will feel this way, as for the clients who only want one experience, then that is a whole different matter. The question then is, does the escort want to encourage a group of mostly ‘once only’ clients – clearly a decision for them to make.
If you are a client for any length of time, rates are going to change. Some escorts choose to move their rates around fairly dramatically as demand grows or shrinks, some make a value decision and stick to it, some increase progressively over time. As you would expect, there is almost every model you can think of, so I need to talk in general terms.
If an escort increases their rates, they have three choices for existing clients – don’t tell them, let them know, or ‘grand-father’ them (hold the old rate for regulars or certain past clients). My preference is being told – it shows a level of communication and respect. I have been in a booking and paid less than expected because I don’t always re-check an escort’s rates, that is an embarrassing situation for a client and an uncomfortable one for an escort.
I am also not keen on being ‘grand-fathered’. I know that seems strange, but you can’t be on lower rates forever and it means new clients are ‘earning’ the escort more money and there will eventually be a temptation for the escort not to see their lower paying older clients. I would rather be told, maybe granted an adjustment period, and then pay the full expected rate or if necessary, make the choice to move on and let the escort earn at the rate they now expect and command.
I should say however that escorts wanting to build solid repeat business with regular clients should exercise caution with dramatic rate changes and big transitions. Most clients can handle a bit more, and then a bit more and so on, but a large jump may force their hand into making a different choice and being forced to stop seeing the escort. I have had to say goodbye on a couple of occasions due to a large change, only to find the escort lowered their rate again months later. It is hard to reengage under that scenario knowing that it might be short-lived.
Pricing for regulars. This is likely to be the most controversial section of this article, as I am not fully sure what I think about this part of the topic myself. I guess my most accurate belief would be that service suppliers should recognise their most important customers in every industry. What that means is a matter for the supplier and their customers and there are so many ways to demonstrate the strength and importance of a relationship. Reducing price for regulars may not be the best for either the escort or the client. The client may not want to save money, they may just want a better connection, special attention, deeper intimacy, customised bookings, choice on times, or any other feature of a booking that encourages this regular connection to continue and grow, rather than a bit more money left over. Again this will depend on the escort and the nature of their clients.
In my case, I pay certain regular escorts above their standard rate. Sound’s crazy right? Maybe I am, but my thinking is that I want them to know that they are special to me, and send a signal that I value them more than a set rate. In effect adding a small ‘cash-gift’ to the booking. I tend to stop this ‘added payment’ at a certain rate, and if I am being completely open and honest (as I have tried to be everywhere else with this blog), then there are certain slightly higher rate escorts that I do wish would offer me a slight reduction for regular bookings. It is a strange dynamic and I guess it is not wanting to pay too far below or too far above the level that I have become accustomed to paying.
So this is complex territory as it is a combination of client and escort expectations within the context of all of their experiences and their own spending or earning comparisons. This article is just one client’s experience and it is already getting complicated. So making it simple – pay what is asked or walk away, unless you have a close enough business relationship for a mutually beneficial discussion on what works between you.
Comfort with rates in general.
An escort is not selling themselves, they are selling their range of services for a given time as long as all of their other conditions are met. A client is not buying a person, they are buying a selection of services for a given time as long as they meet or exceed the conditions of purchase. So the rate has nothing to do with the value of the person. Since it is also an interaction between two people, it should always include respect, boundaries, privacy and a desire to make each other comfortable in an intimate and highly personal setting.
What an escort charges for their offer is entirely their business. What a client is willing to pay is also entirely their business. When they match, business should proceed. If they don’t, then both the escort and client should walk away with good grace.
Shaming, attempting to force a generic model on others, seeing comparison rates as a judgement of personal value or service quality, and similar judgements on the industry segment (rate range) that a client chooses to buy within, are all poor behaviors in my opinion. I know there are certain escorts that I might wish to see, but they charge too high a rate for me to consider booking – that is their good fortune and I have no issue with their rate, in the same manner as certain houses are out of my reach. I also have a comfort range and choose to operate within it (most of the time), I should not have to defend what I buy from others that operate at a lower-range. Ultimately we all sort out our buying and selling behaviours for ourselves and that doesn’t mean everyone else should be at the same level.
I sincerely thank every escort that continues to see me, as two things have happened to make that the case. Firstly, I am getting more value than I am paying for, and secondly, they are getting the business outcome that they want for what is given in return. Clients should respect the escorts that take their repeat bookings and escorts should respect the clients who continue to return to them, because more than anywhere else, the re-booking thresholds seem to best indicate where the equilibrium in this industry exists.
That may have turned out to be a rather dry discussion, as money often is. Maybe I should write on something else that I also know nothing about – like sex toys. A little joke.
I hope I haven’t upset anyone too much, but I also hope I have made you think and perhaps share, comment or consider your own position. Thanks so much for reading.
Xx SP 20 April 2017 (article updated 27 May 2017).