Percie the Escort

Providing intimacy for someone else …

What is it like to ‘turn the tables’? This is the tale of the day that Percie was fortunate enough, to get a small taste of what it might be like, to be a male Escort. Possibly a once-in-a-lifetime chance to be the provider of intimacy for a female client.

Now before everyone gets their ‘knickers in a twist’, no one is suggesting that this is an authentic account of what being a male Escort is like. For one thing, I don’t have what it takes. It is however the true account of what it feels like for a long-standing client of escorts, to come as close to a ‘role change’ as possible, for a single experience. It didn’t teach me what it is like to be a male Escort, but it did teach me some other very interesting lessons.

PercieGifts

So How Did This Experience Come About?

It began on Twitter. Isabella Lawrence @SensualIsabella and I had been connected on Twitter for some time. When I started blogging, I began getting comments, both public and private from Isabella about the articles I was writing. I don’t think she liked my blog very much at the start, and was harsh but helpful on some of my naive early client views. Isabella is a writer as well, and has a lovely style and very interesting blog. We chatted in Twitter Private Messages (PMs) and started sharing part of our stories with each other and a connection built. I think she started to like me a little and I liked her, and our communications grew in frequency.

As a result, we agreed that when I was planning to be in Queensland later in the year, we would catch up for a coffee. We would meet face-to-face for the first time, discuss our mutual interests, our blog writing, and get to know each other a little better. Isabella and I had discovered that our other areas of work overlapped in the same professional field, and we started comparing notes, stories and even some professional support as part of our growing connection. We discussed what form the Queensland meeting would take, and settled on a companionship booking and either lunch or dinner – I would be the client obviously.

Then in mid-year, Isabella announced that she would be coming to Sydney for a visit. The visit was connected to both her escorting work and her other professional activities. Given our recent dialogue around her other professional field, we discussed the possibility of moving our first meeting forward, and grabbing a much earlier chance for a face-to-face meal in Sydney. Somewhere along the line, the conversation started to include joking banter about her booking me as her male companion for her upcoming Sydney business trip. A fun and unusual way of extracting some mentoring for her other work, and combining it with some personal intimacy. Initially it was a joke. In the early discussions, it was light-hearted ribbing and neither of us were taking it seriously, but it was a fun exchange and we both kept it going at different times.

I never believed that anyone would want to book me and pay me for intimacy. Isabella was having some fun, relieving boredom online, and I believe honestly letting me know that she was interested in taking our online conversation into a real-world one. In July, a month out from her Sydney visit, the joke become more serious and then a real conversation about logistics started to happen. How would it work in practice? Would it be OK? Would we both be comfortable with that dynamic? I was ‘sh^t scared to be honest, and I imagine that her own nerves and anxiety at the plan of booking me as her male companion were heightened as well. Suddenly we both agreed it would go ahead as a lunch booking on the 3rd of August, when we would both be in Sydney. It was locked in and it was going to happen.

SP-Prep

The Lead-Up To The Booking

We both nearly cancelled the idea on a number of occasions. Both of our insecurities were strong and laid bare. I didn’t know if I could play the part of a Male Escort. I didn’t have the physique, the skills, the youth, the Viagra or any idea, despite my significant experience as a client, on what I should do and how to do it. Isabella seemed to be concerned that she was not my type of Escort (or client), explaining that she was different to most of the Escorts that she had deduced I was booking. We both assured each other that there was no issue, and we had lovely exchanges of messages that reduced our mutual anxiety.

If we were going to do this, I wanted the experience to be as authentic as possible. I knew it was a sham of course, but I still wanted it to be a different and unique experience. It was a sham, because I knew her online, she wasn’t some unknown client with all of the uncertainty, risks and first meeting anonymity. I knew what she looked like, I knew she was a professional escort with all of the skills, comfort and easiness that would bring to the booking. It was a role-reversal pure and simple. I had to try and be the attentive provider, establishing my boundaries and rules, but still trying to live up to the wishes and dreams of my client. She was going to be able to play the client, deciding what she wanted from the booking and letting me know what her desires were and how I could try and satisfy them. At one point she joked that she could play the part of a deliberately difficult client, if I really wanted to see ‘authentic’. That alone was an arousing and intriguing thing. Could I satisfy my client, even if it was more act than reality, especially if they were making it challenging for me?

I went and purchased condoms, lube and other paraphernalia. I had a haircut, purchased some new clothes and an ‘out-call’ bag. I always prepare for my bookings as a client, but I wanted to be the best provider that I could be, and I went to extra effort. It was all part of the fun, and it was also enjoyable to talk about the difference of this experience online. We slowly went from ‘keeping it quiet’ to sharing little bits and pieces of the lead up on Twitter. Isabella told me that if I was a ‘real Escort’, I would need a profile. So I made one up, sent it to her and then posted a version of it on Twitter as well.

PB-Bio

The Booking – Lunch

I arrived at my hotel in the morning and my room wasn’t ready. I needed to get in, shower, put my long planed preparation in place and be calm and ready. I had organised an early check-in, but the last guest had held everything up by leaving late. My first real lesson came at that point. I was so much more anxious. I couldn’t message my Escort and say lets meet somewhere else, or the room isn’t ready yet. I was the provider, it needed to be perfect and I didn’t want my first thing to be an excuse about a problem caused by someone else. I begged and argued and finally got into my room, with 20-minutes before I needed to leave for lunch. It was far more stressful than being the client and just updating an Escort on external problems – I didn’t want any external problems, I wanted to be the perfect companion and be ready and on time.

I arrived at our lunch at the agreed time, just, it was a close thing. Isabella was already at Rockpool in Sydney and she got up to greet me. I nearly tripped on a chair and it spoiled my planned introduction. I could feel little glossy sweat beads starting to form on my forehead, from the really strong nerves I was feeling. We sat and I hid my hands under the table to try and remain cool and look as relaxed and debonair as I could manage. We broke the ice quickly. It was an easy conversation, with lots of laughing and it was all wonderful and amazingly natural. I did start to forget that I was meant to be ‘providing’ the companionship. Isabella is a natural and an amazing conversationalist, so this was hardly an authentic experience of having to work hard to get a conversation going, or find common ground, or deal with the menu and fine dining issues of someone less experienced. Anyone dining with Isabella is in for a great time – and we sure had a great time.

My only lesson or difference of experience here, apart from the opening nerves, was a surprising one. It was something I should have realised, but it caught me completely by surprise. I wasn’t paying for the lunch, so all of a sudden intense anxiety hit me about what was the right approach to ordering – did I need to go cheap, mid-range or take Isabella’s offer, the same one that I make all the time, have whatever you want. I went mid-range with the meal and the wine, which at Rockpool is still an extravagance. It wasn’t exactly what I would have ordered if I was paying, especially the wine, but it was close. It made me wonder that when I said ‘have whatever you want’ to companions, how restrained were they really being? How were they making their judgements on what to order? How in future could I really, really convince them to relax and order whatever they really wanted to eat and drink and have a good time. This is a subtle difference between client and provider, but it surprised the hell out of me and made me angry at myself that I hadn’t thought of this difference before.

It was an amazing lunch, really first class and Isabella was magnificent. I hope that I managed to play the part of provider well enough. I did try and shut up about myself and listen more to her, ask her questions, and let her have the lunch conversation that she wanted, but hell, I’m a talker and it is hard to change that in one go. I think I did OK.

SP-View

The Booking – Dessert

We went back to the Shangri La hotel in a taxi, holding hands, continuing to laugh and taking our time as Isabella was recovering from a recent knee injury. I knew she was in a fair bit of pain, but she was pushing on. I was in a really comfortable place, and I was thinking to myself, I want to show Isabella the best possible time that I can. I know I can’t ‘rock someone’s world’ with professional male Escort skills, but I wanted to be intimate, be of service and make her feel good about inviting me.

Isabella had selected me. She actually wanted to meet me, see me, treat me and be intimate with me. That is amazingly special. It is hard even to write this, because it is making me emotional all over again. I have had girlfriends, been married, and even been propositioned for affairs (on very rare occasions), but I had never before had someone choose me in this way. It is nice when Escorts indicate that they are close to me and are happy to accept re-bookings. It does make me feel special as a client, but I am still paying to see them.

It is something else entirely for someone to actively choose me. I wonder now when I see aggressive complaining about minor client annoyances, happening on platforms like Twitter, whether these more seasoned professional Escorts remember, how few people actually get to be chosen in this way. I found it very special, humbling and fulfilling to have the feeling, even for just a moment of role-reversal, to be chosen to be someone’s paid companion.

Almost anyone can be a client. If they make the right approach, are decent, have the money and behave the right way, they can see amazing Escorts. Not many people can be Escorts. Develop a brand that has personal and intimate appeal, make others want them so badly that they will pay, over and over again, and often fall for them. It is special to be of service and to be wanted. Isabella made me feel so special, it is probably the most desired I have ever felt in my life. Someone wanted to be with me badly enough that they would pay me for the privilege. Even in the pretending of this, it was a special moment where I got lost in the role reversal and saw how much of a gift being desired is.

We spoke more. Isabella told me that there was no pressure, we didn’t have to go through with anything and we could just talk and have fun. We did a little of that of course, but I wanted to get intimate with my client for the day, and try and make her happy with me. I did OK again. I wish I had done better, but nerves and self-imposed pressure played their part. I was turned on and hard, no Viagra required, and was having a great time physically, but I admit it was lucky that Isabella was a professional. Despite our role-reversal, it was clear who was the novice (me) and who was the expert (Isabella).

SP-Wine

I don’t know how Escorts manage time, I was terrible. I had always intended to go over time, but I really had no idea, and hadn’t really prepared myself for being ‘on-the-ball’ with alarms, or a discrete clock, or some other way of knowing and managing the time. In the end, I left at close to 6pm, about 90-minutes more than our agreed 4-hour session. I was having a great time, I would have stayed longer, but you know, professional boundaries. Of course Isabella also let me stay until then, so she was cutting me some ‘rare experience’ slack as well. I had a wonderful afternoon, it was an amazing and unique experience, and in many ways it was really pure. Two people that thought they might get along, finding out that their expectations were right. I know Isabella will never book me again – I’m simply just not male Escort material, but I will book her. She is a wonderful Escort.

The Aftermath!

Isabella gave me a card, a gift (Whisky of course) and my fee, a once-only special ‘newby discount’ rate of $50 for what turned out to be a 6-hour lunch. Far more than I’m worth. That payment is “going straight to the pool-room” – framed and honoured. The one time that Percie was paid for sex, the day gravity turned up-side down, water ran up-hill and time went backwards. The day that Percie got to pretend to be a male Escort. Thank you Isabella for a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Now whether I had prepaid Isabella for this to be a role-play or not, really shouldn’t matter to anyone but us. Regardless of that, we both knew that this was pretend, a fabricated experience. Isabella is a professional escort, I am a client. That is the world and although this experience probably taught us both things, especially me, it wasn’t real. No one suggested that all of a sudden Percie was an escort, but despite that, Twitter went into a mini melt-down!

A number of our connections had been celebrating the lead-up, the fun and games of the preamble, and then the booking itself. We both left the day thinking that we had shared our wonderful experience with some of our Twitter buddies. The next morning was a different and nasty world. Apparently we had committed some huge offense against humanity. Some was directed at me, some at Isabella, we both got more than our fair share of haters. Apparently somehow we had disrespected the industry, some smack-in-the-face for struggling workers. It was said that my ego was running wild, that all of a sudden I thought of myself as some gun male Escort. Of course none of the haters asked, none of them discussed, and none of them tried to understand the story or even take a look at the lead-up. Since this was something different, they jumped in, with their own agenda, their own issues, and their own viciousness. A little Twitter campaign against Isabella, or me, or both of us ran for a few days.

The level of nastiness drove Isabella to an asthma attack and hospitalization. In my case, I am actually appreciative of the outcomes. It showed me some vicious people to avoid, it showed me some people that I thought would support me that didn’t, it showed me some that supported me privately, and it showed others that despite the significant personal risk to themselves, didn’t hesitate to jump in and support me. To those that sent me private well wishes, thank you so much. To those that put themselves on the line, I really don’t know how to thank you, or if I will ever be able to repay you – but I know who you are, I love you, and I saw first hand the quality of people that you are. Brave, lovely and like me, stupid enough to jump into social media storms, when far more sensible people would steer clear.

I’m not worried for me, but the malice directed to Isabella is unforgivable in my opinion. The people who complain about their own trolls, haters and aggressors that can hypocritically turn on a lovely and sensitive colleague – well I guess you know what I think. Somehow she is more forgiving of you than I am, so if you still think harm was done here, it was my doing and not hers.

I have this strange feeling of joy at the experience and meeting Isabella. Thankfulness at the insights and lessons that it taught me. Also some thankfulness in knowing who to trust and who not to trust. Plus residual surprise at how these crazy Twitter storms grow and progress, and who it is that seems to want to fuel them.

I am no Escort. I am a pretty simple average guy who is a client of sex workers. I write on the experience occasionally. I make mistakes, I have issues and I stuff up. This wasn’t one of those ‘stuff-ups’, it was always respectful of this industry and if anything, it has given me even more respect for the challenges of being an Escort – especially when solidarity and support within the community goes missing.

Update May 2018

For some reason, some people still have a problem with this whole idea and booking. No one actually wants to say it out in the open, or explain their specific issue. Why it is OK for an Escort to see what it is like to be a client, but clients are not allowed to be paid for sex or have anything like that experience. I missed the rule book on this and I still miss it. If one day I wanted to try my hand at being a mature aged Male Escort, surely a long history as a client would be of benefit. Anyway, perhaps I’m just engaging with troll and haters and perhaps most people see this for what it was – a one off experience and a bit of fun. It still gets me a lot of hate mail.

Thank you for reading. I hope that you can respect Isabella and leave her alone or show her your support. In my case, see this tale however you want. A fun role-play, an ego maniac client, a blight on the industry, or just a guy on a journey. It has cured me of thinking I can somehow get everyone to like me – that lesson alone was worth the experience. To Isabella my companion for the day, it was special, you are amazing, and I love you for being part of this with me. Thank you so much!

Xx SP 7 September 2017 (updated 22 May 2018).

Sex and Guilt

Buying sex and dealing with associated guilt.

Client guilt, the dark-side of seeing escorts.

Get over it! Guilt is the most useless emotion. Guilt is anger directed at ourselves. Guilt is to the spirit, what pain is to the body. Forgive yourself, guilt helps nobody. I’m sure you, like me, have heard similar quotes on the subject of guilt.

Every client wants to rid themselves of guilt and embrace the pleasure and enjoyment they seek when buying the services of an escort. However guilt is a sneaky and invasive feeling, shaking it isn’t always that easy to do. So why do I feel guilt and what should I do about it?

GuiltShot2

So where is my guilt coming from?

Well that is a very long list, summed up by the cheeky T-shirt above. (one of my all time favorite photos – can you imagine how great it was, a regular of mine agreeing to wear this for a photo – OK, getting distracted). Here are a few of the obvious sources: I’m deceptive and breaking trust in a monogamous relationship. I have daughters who wouldn’t understand my secret life or sex-work in general. I’m buying intimacy from someone who would most likely not even notice me in the ‘normal’ world. I’m older, I’m spoilt, I’m selfish, I’m entitled, I’m wasting money that could do something far more meaningful in society. I’m a creepy client of sex-workers and other better men than me don’t need to buy this service. I’m needy, flawed, and insecure. That is just the start of the ‘hate-list’ I use against myself.

Worse than that, I may be self-destructive, seeking solace and comfort from an escort that can’t give the same to me in return (without being self-destructive in their own right). Clients often want to ‘suck up compassion’ and the poor empathetic escorts that give ‘too much’ of this support away, can do significant damage to their own psyche. The fact that I know this unhealthy dynamic exists, and yet I still desire real intimacy with many of the escorts that I meet, just makes me feel even more guilty for having these feelings and hopes. It is almost a vicious spiral, adding to all of the other causes of guilt. So as the T-shirt says, ‘I am a cunt’ (in the unfairly negative use of this word)!

Of course I didn’t even add that society hates us both – escort and client alike – if only they knew the level of guilt, shame and insecurity that can hit us. It’s not that we are ashamed of ‘buying sex’, or anything about sex-work – we are just generally ashamed of other aspects of ourselves. The mythical sexual freedom and indulgent debauchery that society may often imagine when picturing sex-work, probably isn’t anything like the world that they expect it is. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going back (it is amazing), but there is always a price to pay, and sometimes one of those prices is unfortunately guilt. Most of us have issues to deal with, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t on to a much better, free, and more contemporary reality.

So why do I continue to see escorts?

At TedX Sydney in 2016, Elise Payzan-Le Nestour (behavioural economist) said, “we are all greedy and lack self-control”. The smoker, gambler, drinker and even extreme athletes, vegans and religious zealots all know that their activity of choice has consequences both positive and negative – joy and despair. My initial decision was to seek joy in parts of my life that I felt I had lost, youth, intimacy, wild sex and even the adrenaline of secrecy and ‘seeing behind the curtain’ of social taboos.

Some of these reasons remain, but over time the reasons that I continuing to remain a ‘client of escorts’ have changed. There are now other reasons as well. Things like loving more than one person intimately, maintaining important connections, learning new things (both the salacious and the mundane) and having joyful, compressed and intense moments to look forward to in the future and then to savor secretly when looking back at my hidden past. I added an article specifically on ‘Staying in the Moment’ to look more specifically at this unique dynamic that exists in the escort-client world.

I actually feel quite sorry for people who do not have this amazing level of sexual and intimate experience in their lives. So those who give in to guilt and choose a different moral path, may not have to deal with the negative consequences, but they may be robbing their life of areas of fulfillment that they may regret. I believe that I would look back and regret aspects of my life, if I gave up on these amazing experiences.

I know I need the highs and lows to feel alive. My personal discovery in seeing escorts, is that a mundane, predictable and vanilla path is death, a zombie-like existence, that fails to see there is more joy to be had. This has led me to do many, many other new things, however seeing escorts is still my favorite part of a more vigorous, spontaneous and vibrant life.

How do escorts manifest and deal with guilt?

This will probably be material for a longer article in the future (if an escort or two would like to help me with the appropriate material). For now, it still needs to be placed within this discussion. Like clients, escorts are on their own journey of dealing with guilt. The sources, the resulting emotions, and the level of personal resolution changes from escort to escort and even from moment to moment with the same individual (clients as well). I have had moments when I felt I had ‘resolved the guilt’ and then it comes back and ‘bites-me-in-the-ass’ in unexpected ways.

I have been watching this play out with some escorts. In many social media conversations there is pressure to agree that guilt is bad, society has it all wrong and escorts are like the ‘mutant X-Men’ and the future of a liberated and sexually enlightened society. Wouldn’t it be nice to think that were true, and in some ways, I think that it is.

Some of the same voices however will then say that when they “retire, they wouldn’t see a man that has visited escorts”, often missing the guilt-laden irony in this statement. Some particularly smart escorts also experience guilt from their astute awareness that as advocates for feminism, their earning potential is still largely the result of residual patriarchal structures and ‘women as object’ thinking. This also causes guilt for me – as I support feminism but take advantage of the contradictions that allow me to book escorts.

Of course most of the guilt comes from us having difficulty escaping our upbringing, the standards of our families and friends, and the malicious attacks that come from an ignorant society with a mistaken view of sex-work. The social errors don’t really matter, as wrong or right, the sheer volume and persistence is a weight on client and escort alike. It scratches away at our insecure selves in those weak moments, and creates self-doubt, sadness and this most useless of all emotions – guilt.

What does it all mean?

So I don’t know what to do. Sometimes in the ten-seconds it takes to get a condom on, the guilt-laden doubts enter my head, and my penis goes into retreat. I win the battle more than the doubts do, and most times joyfulness ensues for a brief few hours, more than worthy of the financial cost, and an amazing memory is created. Of course later the guilt can return in what I guess we might call ‘post-booking melancholy’ (a topic I added after this original article was written).

As for the industry, we shouldn’t pretend that guilt doesn’t exist. Please don’t shame those who feel it more acutely than you, those who can’t be ‘out’ with their family and friends, and perhaps most of all: those of us compassionate clients should remember that in our own guilt, we need to be reinforcing to our wonderful supporting escorts that their choices are more than worthy too! Any guilt that they may feel should give way to the youthful, vigorous, spontaneous and vibrant life that they are providing to their clients, and hopefully they are fully able to enjoy this more vibrant and enriched life as well.

Guilt really is the most useless of emotions.

Xx SP 17 March 2017 (Happy St Patrick’s Day) (article updated 9 May 2017 and again on 7 May 2018)

Becoming a Client

The journey of one client – how did it begin?

Why did I become a client of escorts?

Everyone has a ‘how did it begin’ story. Clients, and much of the world at large are interested in how escorts began their journey. Less interesting is how clients began, but since it ‘takes two-to-tango’, here is the story of one of them – me.

When I started as a client, it was the mid-point of a part of my life-journey that is still unfolding. Many of the causes I didn’t realise at the time, and I’m sure many of them I’m still to learn and appreciate, but this is what I know so far.

SydneyBridge2

What was happening when I first booked an escort?

It was the convergence of a few things, each with their own timeline. Firstly, I hit an age where there are more days behind me than days left in front of me – no matter what I like to tell myself. Secondly, I was traveling a lot for work, and spending many, many lonely nights in glamorous hotels. Finally, I was not happy in many parts of my life, including within the intimate, sexual, love and friendship aspects of my life – and this had been the case for a very long time.

I guess this is not uncommon and is almost a text-book (if there was a text-book) case of both a mid-life-crisis as well as an on-ramp to booking the services of Escorts. Despite this, it did take a long time for me to gain both the inclination and the courage to make that first booking – I put up with this scenario for a long time, years in fact. Against these forces, I was building a successful business, bringing up children, putting on weight and telling myself I was doing a good job. Telling myself that I was happy, lucky and successful. I wasn’t happy!

The trigger (or catalyst).

A close friend of mine died suddenly of a heart attack. Like me he was under-50 and had shared a very similar life. A close circle of us were dramatically impacted, and we all had the natural response of thinking, that could very easily have been me. You make an assessment of where you stand in a moment like that – and I didn’t like how that self-assessment looked.

I had so many things that I wanted to do. Things I had been putting off. I wanted to travel, see shows, sports, and places that I hadn’t got around to seeing yet. I wanted to make mad, passionate love, try sexual things that I had not yet experienced, and find out sexually what I liked. Yes, I had been out of sexual intimacy for so long, that I didn’t even know what I wanted or liked anymore, or even what was possible. I didn’t even know my body properly (a story for a future article) and believed personal image things about myself that I’ve since learned were not actually true. I wanted a shot at being young again, before it was forever too late.

The ‘on-ramp’ to booking escorts.

Initially I did make changes. I told myself, in very clear terms, that I needed to be selfish. I needed to take time away from work and home that was just for me, and realise that things I had been telling myself were ‘for me’, were actually just things I needed to do because of the world I had built around myself. Learning to be a bit more self-centered may come easily to some people – it remains a difficult path for me. I fight guilt at having a secret life and focusing on my own enjoyment above the needs of others.

In the early days, I went along to a strip-club while traveling with some work connections – something I normally refused or managed to avoid. I also went for non-sexual massages and then later some more deliberately erotic ones – although I’m yet to experience Nuru – something still for the ‘bucket-list’ (actually since the original article – I have ticket this experience off). I also watched more porn, not that I hadn’t before, and in retrospect, it wasn’t porn that I needed, it was deeper human contact and intimacy.

After a few strip-club visits, I met a dancer who would meet me at my hotel after her shift. Our arrangement was that I bought her room service dinner and paid the equivalent of a one-hour private dance. At the start it was a private dance (only) and then a late dinner (well more an early breakfast) and lots of talking. Later it was just talking and eating as the dance was only an excuse for me to have her with me as company, rather than being always alone.

We spoke about how stripping worked around the world, her immigration issues, our friends, our lives, our current issues, and what we wanted to achieve in our lives. This only lasted a few months, before I realised that I actually needed the sex too, and that wasn’t part of our arrangement. Every sex industry participant has their line, the area that is comfortable for them, and their boundaries. We wished each other well.

Booking my first escort.

Having decided that I was going to see an escort, I did what I always do, try to gather some knowledge. Early in my ‘research’, I came across the relatively new (at the time) Scarlet Blue website. I decided that of all of the avenues I had found online so far, it seemed to suit me the best. Their approach was clear and straight-forward and the way the escorts were marketed to prospective clients seemed to have some elegance and strong support of the workers, devoid of some of the sleazier and more degrading things I had come across elsewhere on the Internet.

I took my time trying to decide who I should meet first, and I observed a number of escorts through their social media activity, trying to get a little bit of a clue as to what they might be like in person. Eventually I made my choice and sent a text message request to the escort I wanted to see – even that was a nerve wracking moment.

Booking request.

I knew nothing (John Snow – sorry couldn’t help insert the Game of Thrones reference here). In fact less than nothing. I didn’t know if what I was doing was legal or illegal. I had no understanding of the etiquette, rules, and whether I would actually be meeting the person I thought I would be meeting. I was actually the most nervous about being a middle-aged guy meeting a beautiful young woman.

My text message must have been hilarious. It was too long, too much irrelevant detail, too confused on when and where, and most of all went into great lengths asking if I was an acceptable client, being middle aged, overweight, inexperienced and nervous. I wish I still had the text and the response – it would be amusing to so many of you. All I can say is that the escort was a true professional and put my mind at ease immediately. Obviously she thought the ‘age and fitness’ stuff was hilarious, but simply told me that made me a perfectly average client for her. The booking was made and I was due to see my first escort on my next interstate trip, about three weeks in the future.

My first booking.

During those weeks, I got called interstate again. Sitting bored in a hotel room, and having already committed to this path, I made a short notice booking with another escort. The booking didn’t go well. It was a combination of nerves, in-compatibility and some other aspects that weren’t clear to me at the time. I discovered later that the escort I saw was having major personal issues and shortly after our booking left Australia for good.

It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good on a number of subtle levels and it would have prevented me from continuing as a client, if it wasn’t for the other booking that I felt I needed to honour. I don’t want to detail the issues of the first booking, they may be too identifiable, but I went into my second booking with even more nerves and trepidation.

My second booking.

Really my first booking, but my second escort meeting, it was the exact opposite of the first – it was amazing. The escort who arrived was exactly, no let me restate that, far better in real-life than in her profile. She greeted me affectionately, was a little nervous herself, bubbly, chatty and a real ‘presence’ in the hotel lobby. It was a three-hour booking, and ended up with two intimate sessions interspersed by us taking a break for some room service.

The exact memory of it is fading a little with time, but little things stand out. Smiles, time in the shower, great kissing, giggling and some real intimacy. Authentic openness about our lives, what we liked, and the rapid rush to intimacy that all the great first bookings have as a part of their dynamic. I was hooked, I was a client of that wonderful escort (and I was a client of hers for a long time, until her retirement), and I was also addicted to being a client of Escorts more generally.

Like a lot of us clients, we owe so much to the escorts that take us by the hand and show us the ropes, in a way, it is like loosing your virginity all over again. In my case, I owe my companion so much. She continued to see me, teach me, and support me along this wild journey as other companions have since. If there is such a thing as a modern-day muse, then I chose my first escort well, even after her retirement, she remains a source of inspiration for me still.

Hooked as a client.

I have fulfilled many of the ‘selfish’ ambitions I set for myself. I have traveled, I have seen and done more, but perhaps most of all I have become an ongoing client of the independent escort industry and of some specific escorts in particular. Almost all of my experiences are amazing and the escorts I continue to see are unique and I adore them each in their own way. There are many other stories for future articles, so far I have included becoming ‘Addicted to Escorts’ and ‘Why Multiple Escorts?’, however there are so many other aspects and stages of the journey, but for now, that is the story of how this one person became a client. I think just one more thing needs to be said …

What being a client means?

My life is not fully sorted, after all it is a journey. Being a client also means I have two lives – a secret one that I can only speak about with industry participants and here on these pages, and the ‘muggle’ one that I continue to live within as well. I guess some people, escorts and clients, can merge these two worlds, but many of us, again both clients and escorts, have to keep them apart (the subject of how we are all ‘Secret Keepers’ is covered in another article on this blog).

As a client, I have become happier (and at times sadder – it can be a roller-coaster of emotions), I have lost a significant amount of weight, become healthier and I think I am slowly becoming a better lover, friend and person. I still have lots of things I want to experience, now that my eyes have been opened to some of what is possible. I am still a ‘babe in the woods’ as far as the sexual experience side of the journey goes, but I have ambitions to learn more and experience more.

I also think my views on many things are changing (topics for another article). I don’t think most humans have their intimate, sexual and spiritual worlds worked out. Most of us are captive in a restrictive, false and hurtful model. This industry can’t change that alone, but I think it gives many of its participants other pathways that should become more mainstream.

I am not giving up being a client – it would seem like someone who has seen a glimpse of the future going back to a world they know is broken. I think that because this ‘secret world’ has moments that are so pure and amazing, it also creates connections that are equally powerful. My challenge is to find balance and not attach too much meaning and need to the connections that I experience. That is hard, because the majority of escorts are simply the most amazing people that anyone could ever hope to meet!

Thank you for reading. Sharing, comments and your readership is greatly appreciated. Thank you also to the wonderful companions that still share time with me and continue to teach me, make me feel alive and share intimate moments with me.

Xx SP 23 April 2017 (article updated 28 May 2017 and again 8 April 2018).

Client-Escort Karma

The impact of trading emotion for money – risks of burn out!

Trading Intimacy for Money has some Balancing Problems!

Money buys food, food lets you expend energy, energy lets you earn money, money buys you more food! That is the modern-day ‘hunter-gatherer’ cycle. In a similar way, escorts give clients intimacy, sex and companionship – an emotional ‘deduction’ – and in return receive a monetary payment. What happens when the ’emotional deductions’ add up? You can’t go without food forever, and you can’t go without emotional sustenance forever either!

This is going to be a very special and unusual article for me (Percie Blakeney), as the idea, and the co-authorship, go to a currently working escort that wishes to remain anonymous. This is a client and an escorts opinion – it is a co-written piece – and the entire credit for the idea goes to the escort, who like many escorts, suffers from an emotional deficit after giving so much emotional support to her clients!

MorningMessage

The ‘Swiss-Cheese’ or ‘Cookie-Cutter’ Effect.

My co-writer first noticed a particular ’emotional deficit’ effect after 6-months of escorting. Later, after discussions with other escorts, she found that the problem was common place. The offering of ‘companionship’ and authentic emotional support to clients, without a similar ’emotional credit’ coming back the other way, was leading to emotional problems and a sense of being ‘burned out’ by the constant giving. This giving may result in a financial return (earning a living), but you can only give so much of yourself without finding avenues for replacement, rejuvenation, refreshment and personal recharging. We all need emotional sustenance!

An Escort’s Example (from My Co-Author).

I came to escorting quite late in life and with great determination to make it work for financial reasons. I also gained a regular clientele very quickly including some very emotionally challenging clients. It has been said to me, that the experiences I have had, could send even a more experienced lady around the twist. However they have also allowed me great financial freedom so I am not complaining but simply noticing a particular personal effect.

I am by nature a very empathetic person, to a degree that is sometimes to my detriment. When confronted by a person hurt or in need, my natural instinct is to give of myself in both a practical and emotional sense. In my real life, this has left me hurt and in some very poor personal situations, it has impacted my life path significantly. Despite this, I still believe firmly in empathy and love as the two most powerful forces in the world. For the long term good of humanity, these are the two forces with the power to take us to better times.

As I began to escort I was struck by how many stressed and tightly wound up men walked through my door. I noticed how they walked in stressed and tense and I could actually make them relax and ease their state of mind quite deliberately with a calm manner, a cool drink, calming music, lighting and ears, above all ears. You may facetiously say it was boobs and bum that helped, but no I believe that it is the listening and nurturing, the caring and giving, that gives the most relief and calming influence to these men.

The intimacy created by the exchange of conversation leads to a far greater physical intimacy. In the beginning I noticed so many of these men were talking about deeper feelings for me and I wasn’t sure what was happening. I was overwhelmed. Several situations got out of hand emotionally and caused distress. I would feel and still do feel these waves of connection and empathy as I soothed and satisfied my visitors and I realised in time that each of them was taking a cookie cutter and making vacuous holes in my soul. My ‘soul’ was having pieces slowly taken from it, in the analogy of a ‘cookie cutter’ or ‘Swiss cheese’.

The ‘Out-Of-Balance’ Transaction!

I was giving to these clients, but only in rare cases was any care taken in return for my emotional needs. This is understandable as I was being paid for a service. But the thing was that I was giving emotionally in a very real sense, I had little or nothing in the way of barriers or emotional protection around me. I didn’t know how to have barriers. Every man was taking ‘cookie cutter size shapes’ out of me until I was more empty than full, just like a sheet of cookie dough once the biscuits are stamped out.

This left me, and has left other escorts I have spoken to, feeling hollow and needing replenishing. This awful feeling of neediness, which is perhaps one of the most dangerous places for an escort mentally, builds and builds over time. We look around for the emotional replenishment that we seek, tenderness, a kiss on the forehead, slow tender and giving sex, and sometimes it places us in the line of sight of manipulative clients who can take even more emotionally from our deplenished reserves.

Clients who play on this emotional neediness can be very dangerous. I believe this is where sadly some ‘at risk’ escorts lose the battle with their mental health. It takes great strength to reflect on this effect, and to see clearly what is happening to yourself emotionally. To take stock and learn, to be a giving empathetic companion, who is able to open the gates of intimacy and then close them again, and find ways to recharge and rebuild the spirit and keep operating within a healthy mental state.

Ways of Operating.

Many surf on the top of these waves successfully with a more emotionally superficial connection to clients. Those of us who dive beneath the waves into murky waters of genuinely loving connections, we can quickly gain very devoted clients and grow our business, but we also run the risk of this emotional cookie cutter syndrome. If we (escorts) allow ourselves to be become emotionally drained, then we can become so empty, that the hollowness makes us look for emotional solutions where they do not lie.

Client and Industry Responsibilities.

When you next see an escort, remember that if she is a certain type of private escort whose is deeply conversing and connecting, she is opening her soul on a certain level to you. Remember that she is vulnerable, not physically or because she is weak but because she is giving and loving. The emotional things that the client needs, endorsement, companionship, care, listening, connection, she is giving those of herself and may need some element of them in return. No one can give away their emotional reserves in this way forever without reciprocation and recharging.

Remember that as you enjoy from her the things that you need, sexual release, a shoulder to cry on, listening ears to hear your troubles, and arms to absorb your tension, remember to give back a little. Remember this is not simply a financial transaction, on a certain level it is an emotional exchange between two human beings, and to be the best it can be, it must be a two way exchange.

This article is one escorts story and one clients retelling and endorsement of what happens in the more emotional connections that occur in this industry, within this secret world. The opinion is that of a successful escort and it resonated deeply for me, so I felt it was something that might be meaningful for other clients and escorts as well. As you can imagine this was a difficult and emotional piece to write, so please respect my guest co-author’s anonymity in relation to this article and the opinions expressed here.

As always, thanks so much for your readership. Comments, feedback and sharing are greatly appreciated.

Xx SP 26 June 2017 (with humble thanks to my co-author).

Interview With An Escort

Guest article – an escort’s perspective. Interview with Mischa.

Guest Article – Interview with Mischa.

Today marks the first ‘guest authored’ blog post on this site. We are going to hear from an Australian escort, Mischa, about her perspective and experiences.

Conducted by email and phone, I asked Mischa a series of questions, and eleven of those responses are included here. I know that my other posts are from a client perspective, but here as a change of pace, is the perspective of a working Australian escort.

DomCelebrations

Mischa, how did you become a sex-worker and what was the early journey like?

My foray into escort work began the same way that I suspect a lot of other escorts did, with a broken heart. I had been in a relationship with a man that was considerably older than I was, and married. When he unceremoniously broke up with me via email, I saw working as an escort as a way to give other men what I had given him: intimacy, conversation, and new adventures that were not a threat to his everyday life as a husband and a father. Working as an escort would also provide me with the opportunity to earn money to cover university, textbooks, and other expenses.

Aside from the financial benefits and my genuine love of the job, I do have an additional reason for working as an escort. Just as you (PB) have written about ‘wanting to reclaim some of your youth before it is gone’, I am trying to make the most of my youth while I still have it. I’m scared that if I don’t, I will one day turn into the mother from the Adrian Lux song, Teenage Crime. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check it out.

What are you proud of, or feel is your best ‘sex-work asset’?

My plan was always to work within a model that made myself and clients feel valued and comfortable. I have very few clients, almost all of them are regulars and they are just the most pulchritudinous individuals that you could ever meet. I am always genuinely excited to see any one of them. One client recently described me as “a polygamous sugar baby”, which I thought was funny and probably quite accurate! GFE is definitely what I excel at, but I have been taking some classes in BDSM just to keep things interesting.

What are your plans for the future?

At this stage, I plan to continue working part-time as an escort until I either finish university or meet my own semi-silver fox (applications welcome!)

Do you have any thoughts on the industry that you would like to share?

I strongly believe that the in-call laws in Victoria need to be modified to be in line with other states. I also think that sometimes there is not enough understanding about just how much work goes into being an escort. Aside from the marketing and business side of things, you really need to possess a genuine ebullience. A generally calm and upbeat disposition and sense of adventure are a must. You need to be resilient and emotionally stable.

It amazes me when clients introduce themselves with a disclaimer that they consider themselves to be old and fat. I genuinely don’t notice physicality. Every client has a certain kalon all of their own. I love it when I can make a client laugh. I feel a great sense of accomplishment when someone tells me that they’ve had a great time.

Do you feel isolated or discriminated against as a sex-worker?

I’ve only felt discriminated against as a sex worker twice, once when a guy that I liked indicated that he wasn’t interested in me, and I highly suspect that it was because he knew about my escort work. The second time was when Instagram deleted my account, despite the fact that it contained no graphic content.

What makes a great booking? 

Flanter! (That’s a word from Geordie Shore. Flirting + banter = flanter!) Pre-booking contact is a great way to get to know a little about each other, it can help make everything flow beautifully. Repeat bookings are always fantastic, especially if you have discussed different things with the client that they would like to try. The more information that clients give escorts before they meet, the better. When you really ‘click’ with a client, it is an indescribable feeling of joy for me, and hopefully for them too.

What have you yet to do or experience?

I do have a secret ‘Sexual Bucket List’. I’d like to accompany clients to platonic events or on trips more often. Longer bookings are always my favourite, which is why I don’t typically offer one hour bookings. Some of my most memorable experiences have been with clients that have had me with them for two days and two nights.

Do you have an experience or anecdote that you feel like sharing?

I’m not ‘out’ with anyone in my real life. My family is quite close so I have always tried to hide my travel from my parents. However, when I lived in Queensland, I would sometimes ask them to feed my cat (not a euphemism by the way) while I was away. One day, after I had called my Mum to ask her to feed Mr Cat, she forgot to press ‘end’ straight away after we’d finished speaking. Clear as day, I heard her say to my Dad, “Why is she going away again? Do you think she’s running a drug trafficking ring?”. Recently I briefly mentioned to a client my intention to one day undergo a rhinoplasty. He replied with, “I’m not seeing you anymore. I’m not funding rubbish”.

Mischa, do you have a message you would love to get out to people?

I would encourage men (and women) to keep an open mind about seeing an escort. There is still this misconception that seeing a sex worker is absolutely taboo. Our lives are so short, and I strongly believe that we have a responsibility to ourselves to try every human experience possible. I would encourage everyone to put aside any anxiety or misgivings and try it. It’s so much less messy than having an affair. Even if you are between relationships or happily single, skin-to-skin contact and affection is still important. No two bookings (even with the same client) are ever the same. From frantic, urgent sex to slow and sensual and everything in between, every booking is an adventure.

What has surprised you about sex work?

No matter how emotionally strong you are, nothing prepares you for the day that a client tells you that he is in love with you and wants to leave his wife for you. That he would sometimes shed a tear in the lift when leaving our booking. That’s that only time that I have questioned my decision to become an escort. I thought, “What the hell am I doing?” I didn’t get into this to cause anyone hurt.

I have also been surprised when given gifts! One client gives me the loveliest handwritten cards every time we meet. I’ve been given a beautiful necklace, many adult toys and generous gift vouchers. When I receive a heartfelt note, or a client has cooked something for me, I’m really touched. I am constantly surprised at the gratitude that I feel from my encounters with smart, brilliant and inspiring men. I feel that they’ve often given me more than I can return. I’m really skilled at compartmentalising the different parts of my life, so it has surprised me that I’ve made friendships that I believe will last for a long time to come. I am really blessed.

Has working as an escort changed you as a person?

I have always held the belief that you should leave people in a better state than when you met them. I’ve always applied this philosophy to all of my work, relationships and people I meet socially. The same philosophy is especially relevant in sex work. On reflection, I have developed a greater empathy for anyone that I encounter in my life. I’m more open-minded towards relationships now. Perhaps choosing the one partner to fulfill every single role in your life (co-parent, lover, friend) is not for everyone.

Thank you to Mischa, my first guest for being interviewed and writing this article, I hope that you enjoy this perspective and a change of pace from my (client) perspective to that of a working Australian escort. Still to come, another client’s view, some more of my articles and maybe, after this piece, some other escort and industry guest articles. Thank you as always for your readership.

Since the original publication, both Mischa and I have received some negativity over publishing an escort’s perspective here. Please have some respect and keep hateful opinions to yourself. I deliberately wrote very straightforward and ‘non-leading’ questions, so as to reduce any influence, and this is Mischa’s story generously added here for your information, not your derision. If you can’t respect me, then please at least respect guest bloggers – their privacy and their right to their own views and stories.

Xx SP 6 June 2017 (well actually Mischa’s work – article updated 25 June 2017)

Degustation Dream

Recollection of a perfect night – the story of one booking.

The set-up to this story of one perfect night.

This is the story of one moment in time. I am going to take a slightly different approach to my previous blog posts on ‘client-escort’ topics and recount a single booking – a perfect booking.

I have more of these to come (subsequent to this story, I have added ‘Harbour Lights’ and ‘Holiday Hideaway’). What can I say, I have been very, very fortunately, so please don’t take the order of articles, story content or any other aspect as some vote, preference or ranking system. Let me know if you want to hear more of this type of article. The story is true, detail has only been left out for privacy and to protect the guilty – me! I hope you enjoy the story of a perfect night.

HoodedWoman

Meeting again!

My first meeting with this wonderful escort was worthy of a similar story, one for another day. It was fortunate and serendipitous for its own reasons and that first booking had left me wanting a second booking – something that wasn’t possible for a while due to a number of reasons, a delay that heightened the anticipation of this ‘sequel’ date.

Our second booking, this booking, now named by me for literary effect as ‘Degustation Dream’ was planned as a dinner date and locked in weeks ahead of schedule. We kept some infrequent but pleasant contact, counting down the weeks and keeping the expectations high – it is a pleasant thing as a client to anticipate a future booking and to believe it is pleasantly anticipated by the escort as well. Eventually the day came.

The arrival.

We met at the hotel where I was staying, she was running a little late and advised me of the delay by text. I set myself up in the lobby bar to find that a wedding or engagement party was in full swing. I was fortunate enough to get the last two seats in the hotel lounge. I ordered two glasses of champagne, partly as a signal to the function guests that the other seat was taken.

My companion for the evening arrived in a thin, elegant and rather revealing sun dress, relaxed and sexy, but also formal enough for a restaurant dinner. Despite the large number of young men and women at the function, many turned and looked as she arrived. I still smile now remembering their looks as this beautiful, graceful and head-turning woman gave me a hug, flicked her hair and sat down to the champagne. Some of their curious looks turned to barely hidden disapproval when she sat down next to me. She didn’t even notice their disdain and started a casual, pleasant discussion with me, as though she had only been away to the bathroom and we were resuming a barely paused conversation. In the end, I think the champagne ended up on the bill of the function guests – I was winning already.

Off to dinner.

Our meal was at the other end of town, at a restaurant recommended to me by a work colleague. We caught an Uber Black and had a pleasant and what seemed short drive. When I entered the restaurant I became a little concerned. I am pretty sure I was the second-youngest person there, which made my companion for the evening by far the youngest. It seemed like the sort of ‘establishment’ place that old couples and executives haunt, and I was concerned that it would be stolid, uninspired food in a mausoleum style environment. I was very, very wrong!

Our waiter and sommelier were wonderful. We started by ordering a fine bottle of red wine and while considering the menu and raving over the wine, my companion said we didn’t need to ‘watch-the-clock’, and we could order the degustation option if that was my preference. Well you know the answer already from the title of this article, those words are always lovely to hear, never expected and always a most lovely bonus.

We had something approaching ten of the best small courses of food that I have ever had, and I am becoming a rather spoilt dinner guest. The sommelier seemed to be competing with himself with every matched wine, oh yes, we added the matched wines option, to out-describe the wine before it. Telling us of its history, region and the detail of why he had selected each wine for the particular course of the degustation – it was an absolute tour de force of a meal and the restaurant staff doted on us but also left us space for some very intimate conversations.

In the end we were almost the last guests to leave, thanked by the staff, probably keen to close-up, but impeccably well mannered. It cost a lot, but I almost welcomed the bill, it was the best meal for two people I think that I have ever had. The food and drinks were amazing, and the conversation, on only our second meeting, was equally divine. We discussed our personal philosophies, elements of our history, things we had in common and where we wanted to go in life. I know escorts and clients must keep secrets in reserve, but I don’t remember feeling that any discussion was off limits – it was just hours, and I mean hours, of dining and blissful company.

OK, so we we’re both pretty drunk. I don’t suggest that this is a good idea in most cases, as too much alcohol can drastically diminish performance, enjoyment and memory – all bad for client-escort dates. In addition, if you aren’t both in a good mood, expect the alcohol to make the mood worse. Despite that caveat, we were both having a ball. I suspect that the Uber driver taking us back to the hotel would have a different story, but hey, I don’t recall much of that trip, other than we were very close together.

Back at the hotel.

So maybe when you are floating in a dream, the effect of alcohol on libido is different. In this case, I had no alcohol related performance issues. I am not a writer of sexy literature and I’m also very reluctant to go into too many details, other than to say that I was very keen to have sex and it took almost no effort. We didn’t make it past the couch in the hotel suite before we were at it, in relatively raw and vigorous release, after hours of getting close to each other.

Then to the balcony in the night air. I think the fresh-air hit me, because I couldn’t see or focus on any long-range vision beyond the immediacy of my escort companion. More specifically her back, her hair and the back of the rest of her naked body – you get the idea. I don’t know if anyone could see us, I suspect that they could, and neither of us cared, we were in sheer wanton disregard of the modesty of the rest of the city at night.

Then lastly to the bedroom and by that stage, I had slowed a little, it was gradual, face to face and more intimate. I think after that I let the team down, as although I thought I had put up a sterling display, my companion was doing better than me, younger, fitter, better and probably would have pushed me further still, but I believe she kindly let me off-the-hook claiming a similar level of fatigue. This was not a short session either, there was more talking and quieter intimate moments as well. My companion had really gone off-the-clock, and I am again not suggesting that this should ever be expected, ever, but it was so nice to look back later, reminiscing about that night, and realise the honour granted by my companion to allow it all to come to an end when it came to an end.

Post booking.

We got dressed, slowly as drunk and tired people tend to do. I walked my companion to her car and yet again we stopped, don’t worry, not to drive anywhere. I joined her in my first cigarette for several years, and then another and then another. We had more conversations and ultimately she decided to crash for what little of the night remained at a friends place nearby. I wandered back to my hotel very slowly, the walk of a very tired but very satisfied person, savouring the night and with a spring in my step.

I woke up to a massive hangover, the type where it seems someone is working on the inside of your temples with twin jack-hammers. I was due to fly out and it took me a long time to pack up the room, finding packets, condoms and remnants of the evening everywhere – with each little ‘find’, I smiled and then my headache reminded me not to smile so quickly.

We exchanged a number of messages the next day. I think my main comment was at how amazing the evening was and at how ‘broken’ I felt. I really was broken, I was sore in the strangest of places for almost a week afterward – strangely it was a pleasant pain, bringing back a recollection of one of my favorite experiences.

We have seen each other since, will hopefully continue to see each other more in the future, and every booking has been a joy. The bar was set very high that night, and I think we have come very close to equaling it now on a few other wonderful occasions. We have often spoken about that one ‘stand-out’ night that just went perfectly start-to-finish – my Degustation Dream (a name I have only just bestowed on this wonderful evening, this wonderful memory).

Please don’t try and identify my companion. Also, please don’t think I am discounting other mind-blowing experiences, if this article format proves popular, I will include more of these individual date stories alongside the other article types. I simply wanted to tell the story of a great booking.

I hope you enjoyed hearing about this booking and even more so, I hope you have had similarly powerful and pleasant experiences of your own.

Xx SP 30 March 2017 (article updated 17 May 2017).