Dancing on Air

Remembering a wonderful night at the Ballet with an Angel …

Recently I have been reminiscing on past companion bookings, remembering how amazingly lucky I have been as a client of Escorts. It has been a while since I have written such a recount, and in my mind at least, this story is long overdue.

This was the fourth time I had met this most amazing companion, four months in a row since our initial meeting. It is hard to choose which story to tell, there have been so many amazing moments, but I think this captures how I feel as well as any of the others.

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The Day Arrives

This fourth meeting had been in planning for a little while. Dinner, a night at the Ballet and then some time together afterwards. I arrived at the hotel in Melbourne early, to get ready, to find that the hotel had given me a significant room upgrade to a large suite. I still get excited about the more amazing hotel rooms, and this was a great one!

We knew each other well enough, and I sent a short video walk through of the room to my evening’s companion. Admittedly a badly disguised attempt to see if perhaps a slightly earlier pre-dinner drink in such palatial surrounds might be tempting. I guess many clients share their excitement about what they consider to be an impressive booking, in a misguided but well-meaning attempt to either impress their companion, or to garner a little more time. This is not great client behaviour, and I was still early in my journey, but it is certainly understandable human behaviour. She was onto me, and whether tempted or not, sent the “I’m excited to see you” message, very kind, but clear that we would meet as planned.

Well I was happy with that, and took my time getting ready and still making good use of the very lovely room. A spa bath, some music, soaking in the view, and feeling like a king. Letting the anticipation of the evening wash over me.

Dinner

I wandered down, relaxed and well prepared to the restaurant that I had booked for the evening. I ordered a wine that I knew from past experience my companion would enjoy, one that had become a favorite of mine as well. My companion was fashionably late, that is her way, but not enough for me to feel anything but a growing sense of anticipation.

She arrived and took my breath away. That happened the first meeting, it still happens now, it’s like a wave of euphoria just passes over me and I can’t help but smile like a teenage boy. It seemed that we picked up from where we had left off a month before. Comfortable, relaxed, intimate and unhurried conversation. Some laughs, a couple of wines and a lovely meal, that to be honest I have forgotten – I wasn’t concentrating on the food. I never do, that is why more often than not, I let my companion order for us – and I just bask in the glow of her company.

We left a little later than we should have, and we had to race along the Yarra River towards the Art Centre on a lovely Spring Evening. There were a lot of people around, and the atmosphere on the banks of the river was wonderful, not that we had much time to soak it in, we had a Ballet to get to.

A night at the Ballet

We were late, we were locked out, and we had to stand with the group of other ‘naughty people’ who had dared to be late. They were mostly older women and I was enjoying the disapproving looks that I was getting. Me, a middle aged man, with a taller, far more wonderful younger woman – exactly the sort of visual image to attract their scowling looks. I could almost imagine hearing their disapproval, but it was a feeling, not actual words. My companion didn’t seem to notice or care. She seemed truly excited to be at the Ballet, having training herself as a child, and she was so lovely to me, holding my arm, in close proximity with a glowing smile on her face. Not a Girlfriend Experience, but the dream of having a girlfriend who is truly enjoying the company of her boyfriend – it was a rare moment of forgetting and actually feeling part of someone’s real affection.

We were shuffled quietly into special seats, high up at the theater, a spot for the naughty late comers that wouldn’t interrupt the show or the other patrons. It was a novelty to have such a birds-eye view. We were close together, I could smell her wonderful perfume, made a little stronger by our rush to get to the venue. She had a beautiful glow on her forehead and her open shoulders. I was watching her, as she was watching the first act of the Ballet, and I was enraptured. I had strong feelings for this companion from our very first meeting, but in that moment I felt that if I wasn’t very careful, those feelings were going to get out of hand. Becoming far stronger than is appropriate for the nature of the Escort-client relationship.

After the first break, we were allowed to move to our original seats, to more scowls and looks of disgust from the nearby patrons. Seriously though, who in my shoes cares about being late to the Ballet when they have a companion like that – no wonder they were scowling, it is jealousy and envy writ large, and I was enjoying that too.

The Ballet was Nijinsky, a celebration of the famous Russian male ballet dancer. As such it was a showcase for male dancers with rather modern and acrobatic dance. Those guys are built and amazingly impressive physical and artistic specimens. It was a weird and surreal feeling, to be looking at my glamorous companion, as she watched these amazing men dance. So many feelings for me, that I don’t really remember the performance, but I do remember how I felt. I have had weird dream sequences since, that pick up parts of that night on a number of occasions since.

The Encore

The Ballet finished and we made our way back to the hotel. Wow, for me at least, the love making and intimacy was amazing. I was very ready, I had been smelling my companion’s perfume for hours, and looking at her and enjoying her, as she enjoyed the entertainment of the night. My memory here too has passed more into feelings than detail. We may have had better and more adventurous sexual encounters in other bookings, but that night went perfectly for the emotion and feeling of the evening as a whole complete experience. I remember feeling so satisfied and completely at ease, that it is hard to see it as anything but a perfect evening.

Afterwards we spoke. I was in an amazing afterglow. Weirdly one of the conversations was around marriage proposals that my companion had received from past clients. I am really not surprised. Strangely I envied them putting their request to her so bravely, as no doubt the person who finally gets a yes, is going to be one of the luckiest men alive. Weird how strange things like this can trigger emotions that we don’t expect and envy can be a strange emotion. I asked, jokingly of course, why she had turned them down, and what, for arguments sake it would take to get a yes?

Well she gave me that answer, what was needed to ‘sweeten the deal’, and no, of course I’m not telling – that is one of my most valued secrets. I’m working on it, you know, just in case there is ever a chance.

I had to leave. I left my companion with the room if she wanted it, just for her own ‘time out’ in such a wonderful space. I doubt whether she stayed for long. The next morning I returned to check out of the hotel, and to have breakfast, before heading into my office. That too was a lovely little surprise. To still catch the scent of her perfume and lie for a few moments on the sheets we had been on the night before, was a lovely way to re-live a little of the night and extend the connection just a little longer.

We have had a number of experiences since and more to come, I hope. They have been wonderful, and many deserve their own story as well. However our ‘Night at the Ballet’, a night where I felt like I was dancing on air, early in our journey together is one of my highlights of being a client of escorts. It was a night I will never forget, with a person that I will never forget.

I hope you don’t mind me returning to some booking stories. This is one I have wanted to write for a while, and I have others I would like to share with you, and again with myself before the memories begin to fade. Thank you for letting me share this story.

Xx SP 11 January 2018

Mean Girls

What would make an Escort mean?

It’s a hard world out there, one that hardens most hearts. I saw a Twitter post from an Escort a little while ago that simply said, “Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.” It made me think, what hardens the heart and how do some Escorts manage to navigate the storm?

I had a challenging childhood, bullying at school, and a business stolen out from under me by unscrupulous scumbags. My personal values involve staying open to good people, even if that means being taken advantage of by assholes at times. To me that is a better reality. To me, a hardened-heart would be me, robing joy from myself, worse in my mind than having it taken by someone else. But then I haven’t had a fraction of the challenges that many Escorts face.

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So What Could Make An Escort Mean?

Let’s count down some of the many pressures and social evils that are perpetuated against Escorts and other sex-workers. This is hardly an exhaustive list, but hopefully it will set the scene for understanding the legitimate hardening of a worker’s heart. An argument as to why ‘Getting Mean’ would be a perfectly reasonable defensive response.

Count Down …

Ten – Society Hates Sex-Work. It isn’t a normal hatred, no it is far worse. It is a perverse hatred. One where nearly everyone is biologically, emotionally and intellectually interested, but most secretly protest and even rally against the idea of sex-work. Publicly expressing one out-dated view while secretly maintaining aroused interest. This isn’t just hatred, it is hatred with passion, because it reflects self-hatred of the contradiction inside people. A repressed desire, combined with rejection, missing-out and a lack of resolution between primal desires and a socialized view of how they think they must behave. The false image they think they need to present to the world.

Nine – ‘Here Be Dragons’. I have commented before on my dislike for criminals, rapists and real time-waters being lumped in with real clients. It pollutes the view of real and decent clients. But having said that, there really are evil people playing in this area, taking advantage of sex-workers, their lack of social protection, the isolation of the work, the potential for financial advantage and the poor support, protection and laws that are around sex-work. It makes this a place where some of the most evil men in society pray on women. These scum would harden anyone’s heart – seeing what one person can do to another and how bad society can be at supporting victims and preventing future crimes.

Eight – Failure of Institutional Support. Societies institutions, at best turn a blind eye to sex-work, and worst they actively support and enforce harmful behaviour, damaging stereotypes and the isolation and depression of workers. Myths of higher incidence of disease and poor parenting still prevail, preventing workers giving blood, getting accommodation, receiving equivalent health services and getting in the way of parenthood and the surrounding supports and protections that workers should have.

Seven – Peer Competition. Another myth is that the community supports itself and provides help to the independent workers and other industry participants. Well in many ways it does and there is great solidarity and support in many areas. There is also two-faced competition and outright harm. Fake booking made by other workers or their contacts for workers on tour are just a tiny example. Some terrible things have been done by one worker to another out of envy, competition or just transference of their own pain to another in the same way any other hurt person is likely to lash out.

Six – Youth and Beauty Myth. Most workers I’ve met are not as impressed by their own intelligence, skills and beauty as the clients who see them, or even their own peers are when they comment on them. Most don’t understand how amazing and desirable they are. Yet even though they don’t see themselves as most of the world sees them, they believe their peers are more youthful, more beautiful and more skilled than they are. This isn’t true. Yet against their own insecurity and rejection of the positive, they often have an exaggerated fear of loosing their (relative) youth and beauty. This contradiction of strong fear against weak positive opinion is another personal, but also socially imbued force, that puts additional pressure on industry workers in the most personal way.

Five – Real Client Needs. Clients, people like me, are needy. Escorts provide a service that is sadly wanting in society and when they do it well, clients want more. More contact, more love, more of what the worker is providing. This is a human interaction, so sometimes the workers need this in return. Drawing the line is hard. Draw it too harshly and clients go elsewhere and they do not provide loyalty and friendship in return. Draw the line too generously and well meaning clients will take unwitting advantage of what is on offer. It may make for loyal regulars, but their needs have a strong potential to be emotionally and financially draining.

Four – Health and Well-Being. Of course there is the risk of disease, illness, violence and any of these can take a worker out of action – reducing their capacity to generate their own income. The risks may be able to be managed, but they exist and they can easily play on someone’s mind and add to the overall stress of the work. If unwell, society and its support mechanisms often fail to adequately and fairly address the needs of the worker.

Three – Isolation. There may be ways of avoiding isolation, however independent sex work in particular is a solo business for the most part. Admin, security, preparation, marketing and the work itself is isolating both in its mechanical practice and in the way society isolates sex work and all of its aspects. This is hard enough at the best of times, but when difficulty in trusting peers, clients and social institutions are added to the mix, this isolation can be crippling in times of hardship.

Two – Rejection and Abandonment. The nature of the work is all about selection by clients. It is a rare thing in society to be chosen by someone else and workers get to experience this more than almost anyone else, but they can easily loose that buzz of adoration. What is left is rejection. Why was someone else chosen? Where did the regular I thought of with affection go? Often these changes in selection are not accompanied with any explanation of the reason, and as a result it is easy to assume the worst, adding extra negativity to a worker’s self perception. As a client, I find rejection, abandonment and the lengthy separations between bookings hard (many blog articles I have written on this topic). As an escort, I imaging it is even harder, at least in volume if not individual intensity. How can this not be a ‘heart-hardening’ force?

One – Business Risks. On top of everything else, job security, career longevity, ability to maximise income and retain value is difficult. Many people, in other industries, can build up their businesses and sell them, or make money from growing their business. These strategies for business growth and exit are much harder to accomplish in the sex-work industry. Yet marketing, reputation, personal security, brand building and other aspects are also harder. This is not easy work in any way, and although it may be lucrative at times, it is hard to sustain and hard to build a business that can be sold and create a ‘windfall’ at some future moment. It is a damn hard career choice.

So What Could Make An Escort Mean?

Zero – How is anyone left? The question shouldn’t be ‘what could make an Escort mean?’, it should be, with all of this pressure and forces rallied against sex workers, how is it that so many manage to stay sane, stay kind, continue to truly connect with their clients and their peers, and avoid the hardening that would happen to almost anyone else? It is amazing that most sex workers are still so emotionally giving and wonderful, lovely people.

Support!

So on the few occasions where I feel I was treated poorly or unfairly as a client – and it is only a few, I try and remember the pressures at play. The forces that create stress for Escorts, by comparison, they make the forces that create stress for me look like child’s play. I know how badly I can react and behave when I am stressed – I am not proud of some of those moments. The stress on the escorts that I adore is so much more, so embedded in society, and even coming from well meaning clients like myself as well.

So those that occasionally seem like ‘Mean Girls’, are for the most part, decent, lovable and kind people struggling or reacting to their pressures, their lives and their stress. It is mean of me to compare their behaviour to my own, I am not under the stress that they are under, and yet I still expect kindness, attention and care. Who is the jerk here?

I hope that you get my point. This is a hard industry for so many reasons. Some of those forces we can all work together to improve, some are unlikely to change anytime soon. However if you are at the receiving end of what you feel is poor behaviour – unless it is profoundly bad, cut the other person some slack. The list (count down) in the article is only a small part of what they probably had to face, just this week alone.

I have finished this article (one I started a long time ago) as my first of 2018, in what I hope is a tiny contribution to making 2018 a great year. Forgiving each other a bit more and being a little more understanding and supportive. Many escorts and clients I know are struggling at the moment, let’s reach out and be more loving – especially to the workers who are confronted with this harsh reality every day.

Thank you for your readership. Comments are always welcome here or on Twitter. Please also understand that I am not trying to speak on behalf of Escorts, I am just a client who is trying to understand the forces that are impacting upon the companions that I meet and how I should behave in return to ordinary humans struggling with significant pressures.

Xx SP 3 January 2018

 

 

Transition and Recollection

At a cross-roads in life and reflecting on 2-years as a client of escorts.

Tomorrow I turn 50. I am at the end of many things in my life, at a true point of transition. As part of this change, and after two-years as a client of Escorts, part of my reflection is on how these experiences have changed me. Plus, what I want them to be like in 2018 and beyond.

This is also a return to my blog. I have had a badly needed break, it has been two-months since my last article. I feel rusty, I feel tired, but I feel like getting back into writing as part of my journey for next year. So it’s time to dust off the cobwebs and write something. What better time, than the day before my 50th Birthday.

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Second Year As a Client

Let’s start with where I stand as a client of escorts. It is not a comfortable place. I feel like every post-booking parting brings greater melancholy than ever, maybe this is a result of a challenging year and big life changes. Or maybe it is just something that happens as we are longer upon this road of disconnected moments of fantasy. That I can’t answer yet.

I also feel like I am not as good at this as I was in my first year. In 2016 it was all new, all fun. The relationships weren’t new enough to have much baggage. My industry insights weren’t enough to see some of the darker parts. I didn’t have a profile as a client. I just met people and had fun. If I met someone I really had fun with, and we clicked, then I saw them again. It was as I have already said, my best year ever, halcyon days!

I met amazing people, and I adored them. I felt feelings of love and began falling in love with some companions – falling in love is fun! Nothing particularly bad happened, many things profoundly wonderful happened. It was new, exciting, glorious, wonderful and things elsewhere in my life, for the most part, were going along pretty well at the same time.

So What Happened In 2017?

Sticking with the client of Escorts conversation, what happened is what always happens. We grow, we learn, we make mistakes, things sometimes fuck-up, and the shine wears off from things that were once shiny and new.

My blog and presence on Twitter created casualties. Communicating between Escorts and clients online is fun, but it is also high risk. Text formats of communication don’t offer the face-to-face benefits and ‘in-the-moment’ benefits of bookings – so connections between clients and escorts are likely to be more real, more prone to harm and break-down with clients who choose to engage on Twitter or other forms of correspondence in-between bookings.

Some connections just run their race. They reach a crescendo at some point, booking three, booking eight, booking fifteen, and then the honeymoon is over. For whatever reason, they start getting worse instead of better. It is amazing when we find those connections that just keep improving, deepening, becoming part of who we are.

In other cases, we never get that far. The companion (or client) retires, moves location or some other external dynamic changes. They depart and we are left to mourn the amazing moments that are no longer possible.

Amazing New Experiences!

Other amazing things happened! Partly because of this blog, party because of social media and partly because of my growing confidence, I got to meet new and amazing people – not just the amazing companions that I was booking. I also met fellow clients – travelers on the same road. Everyone I have met has amazed me, I enjoy being in conversation with them and some I now call friends.

I have met female clients of male sex-workers and that has led to some amazing conversations and new friendships, and I have met some of the male sex-workers that they see. With every person I meet, I understand society’s stereotypes around sex-work less and less. These are all inspiring people, better in many ways than the people who cast uninformed judgement on this rich community.

I am fortunate enough to have some companions who know that I have been down and maudlin this year. They have helped, supported and changed me. I don’t know how they have stuck with me, but some of them have now known me for almost two years. Despite the fact that it is almost impossible to truly know if someone you are paying for intimacy truly cares for you, I feel that at least a few of my closest companions do. When the inevitable end comes, their retirement or mine, some may miss me a fraction of how much I will miss them.

Change!

Nothing is more inevitable than change. This year I have learned more about love and loss than in any other year of my life. I didn’t mean to care about the Escorts I met as much as I do. I didn’t expect to have some really care for me and despair at some of my actions and feel the same envy, jealousy, frustration and unrequited emotions as I felt – and talking to other clients and workers, understand that they at times feel the same way too. This is an industry full of deep emotion and fast moving impact upon those emotions – both positive and negative.

I think I am starting to cope with unrequited love. I think I am starting to understand when I hurt the feelings of others. However I am still an advocate for celebration and transparency, and that is why I plan to stay on social media and continue to blog. I feel that the small hurts are (possibly my opinion alone) worth the benefits. The benefit of the truth that I have feelings for multiple people, the honesty of some of my stories and my voice in support of celebrating what happens between client and Escort rather than hiding it because the realities might impact on someone else’s fantasy.

I have big personal plans for 2018. It is going to be a good year. It will be sad … I miss the people I no longer see. I have that empty feeling as a dark companion with me every single day, and that weight gets heavier. I miss the person that I started this journey with most of all – everyone who reads my blog knows this story and that missing part of me continues. I’m just learning to live with a piece of my heart missing.

Others that are important to me, and in a number of connections that importance is growing, well they will no doubt leave my life at some point. I am sure that I will find out then, that I love them too, and wave goodbye to another slice of my heart.

What is happening though is that my heart is getting bigger. I want connections with more people so that I can show them the elements of love that I have for them and receive their unique gifts in return. Even though I’m loosing parts of me, I am gaining others and I am growing. This is the biggest change of all for me – I am not sure I could ever go back to a singular sexually intimate relationship when every connection is so rich and different. I have some of the most amazing relationship and a few in particular where 2018 looks so exciting and plans for new experiences are taking shape already.

There are no answers here. Just one very ordinary guy, who is about to pass an age-based milestone, and is trying to learn from the experiences behind me. So that I can be a better person within the experiences that are in front of me.

If I have upset you on this road, I also take a moment to apologise. For the few people who have upset me on the same journey, I am not carrying that with me any longer. If you feel like reconnecting please do, if you can’t stand me (why are you reading this), then I know that I am not part of your tribe and I wish you well upon your own journey.

Thank you to those who connect with me, have a relationship with me, take my bookings, answer my messages or Twitter posts and continue to be happy to share a tiny part of their lives with me! That is the gift that I have received on the eve of my 50th Birthday.

My love and best wishes for you own future!

Xx SP 22 December 2017.

My Client Stages

How my journey as a client of Escorts has changed over time.

It seems strange looking backwards, to think that my journey as a ‘Client of Escorts’ has clear and distinct stages. Some relatively identifiable transitions and noticeably different periods. As I reflected on my journey in preparation for this unusual blog article, I felt great joy, but also rather profound sadness. Thinking about these phases is in many ways a personal meditation on the extreme highs and lows of my journey.

I am not suggesting that these stages apply to every client that sees multiple escorts and is active over an extended period. It is just what happened to me, so far, along the pathway of a two year adventure.

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The Beginning – Discovery Stage

I have written previously on how I began as a client, especially in the article ‘Becoming A Client’. Here I am talking in a less personal and more collective sense. A reflection on phases. Beginning with my first six-months as a client of the Escort industry. I don’t know how to explain this stage without sharing some numbers. Something that I have avoided in this blog until now, but my personal actions and the clarity of these stages, needs some explanation and some detail.

Over the first six-months, I met twelve Escorts. By the end of that first six-months, the three that I had connected with the most, I had met ten, eight and seven times respectively. Yes, I was hooked early and I did have a lot of bookings. I was careful in research back then, taking a long time to choose who I wanted to see. I selected in a slow and considered process, from a combination of online profiles and close observation of what these Escorts seemed to be like on social media.

I chose well. I was also infatuated with the Escorts that I met. It was such an exciting change from the lonely years that predated this journey. I liked pretty much all of the Escorts that I met, and I wanted to keep seeing all of them. I was trying to keep a growing number of connections open, and progress the strengthening connection with each of these different but amazing women. By the end of six-months, the only way that I could keep doing this, was to make more frequent bookings.

I was starting to realise that I couldn’t meet many new people and still keep seeing the Escorts that I had already met. As the first six-months came to an end, I came to my first sad realisation. This discovery dynamic of meeting new people, while continuing to see others I had met as well, just couldn’t keep going in the same way. It is pretty simple maths really, but who wants to consider maths in this type of emotional situation.

There is some change that comes with time in any case. Out of the first twelve Escorts that I met, four have since retired from the industry. In another two cases, the Escort is based somewhere that I don’t get to travel to very often, and as a result, they were single booking encounters. In three other cases, some of which you may have already read about on my blog, our individual connection ended. Often the ‘endings’ were not particularly pleasant. They never ended ‘within a booking’, but in the messages, complexity and communication spaces that sit in between these fantasy moments.

In fact the three ‘Escort relationships’ I have had that ended the most awkwardly, all started within this ‘beginning period’ and then ended in the next stage of my journey. I had fourteen, thirteen and eleven bookings with these three lovely Escorts. Even today, although the various reasons for ending contact were all appropriate, I still miss all three of these intimate connections. The adventures of those first six months were so new and rich with experience, it is hard not to reflect, remember and sometimes miss the sheer newness of that period. I think it was some sort of awakening – it was certainly a period of personal discovery and enjoyment for me.

Three of the wonderful Escorts from this first phase, I am still privileged to continue to book today. The number of total bookings with each of them is climbing, and it is amazing to be building on a connection that includes a lengthening history together. They have been with me as I have moved through these phases and it is hard not to view these connections as friendships, because they feel like deep, intimate and beautiful friendships. After all, they have weathered my changing phases and still agree to see me. They are deeply important women to me. Each in their own way, they have changed me, supported me, loved me, and given my whole journey a continuity that I would be lost without. The beauty in these relationships also protects me in darker moments, and when confronted with some of the less positive aspects of this industry.

The Explosion – Experience Stage

A lot of my blog articles talk about this stage. After all, I didn’t start bloging until I had been a client for over a year, so I was in the later part of this second period when I started to write. Articles like ‘Addicted to Escorts’ are probably a good illustration of this period of wanting to ‘experience it all’. That ‘kid in a candy store’ dynamic has its own set of issues, and I wrote articles like ‘Single Booking Sadness’ and ‘What Went Wrong’ when I was dealing with no longer being able to make repeat bookings with every wonderful Escort that I met.

I am not going to say how many Escorts I met during this period, that is a level of private revelation that I’m not ready to open up to at this stage. What I can say, is that I met a number of amazing women, that had they been bookings in the ‘Discovery Phase’, I would most likely have seen them on more occasions than I ultimately did. With some of these bookings, I think back to the Escort and our one or two bookings with great fondness, and have wondered many times, if I had met them at the start, or now, not while I was in a phase of expanding my experiences, would things have been different. I believe they would. Sometimes it isn’t about ‘who you meet’, it is just as critically about ‘when you meet’. I certainly met some Escorts at the wrong time.

Despite the challenge of trying to balance seeing established regulars with a rush of new first time experiences, I still met some Escorts that I continue to see today. Some are close companions that I have seen on a significant number of occasions. I guess the point that I’m trying to make here, is that a growing regular connection was just ‘less likely’ to start with a client who was going through this crazy expansion period. During this stage, there was an element of ‘loving the thrill’ as much as ‘loving the individuals’.

A lot of the ‘angst’ in my early blog articles came from contradictory emotions that emerged during this stage. A sort of battle between the emotions of desiring experience, learning and discovery, in a tension and conflict with emotions that are about the specific personal connections between two people. In some cases the individual connections got collateral damage from the bigger journey, self-discovery and overall adventure that was happening with me at the time.

The Equilibrium – Settling Stage

More recently, I have come to find some form of equilibrium. I don’t see that many new Escorts that I haven’t met before any longer. It happens, occasionally I want that ‘first-meeting’ adrenaline and thrill again. The chance of meeting another close connection. It happens. Recently I have met a few Escorts that I am thrilled to be getting to know and seeing again. If I hadn’t still had the occasional new booking, I would have missed out on meeting some of the Escorts that I adore. The reality however is that this happens slowly, over a longer period of time, and largely as someone else retires or the connection closes for some other reason with a longer established companion.

Overall I have less bookings, most of them are with people that I feel I have come to know quite well, and I feel that they know something about me too. It is a stage that also has its challenges. It is hard not to fall at least partially in love with someone who you desperately want to stay in your life. Some of the articles like ‘Loving An Escort’ and ‘Staying In The Moment’, talk about the challenges of ‘keeping it about the booking’, when there is a growing interpersonal connection and a person (or people) that you (and I mean of course me) are thinking about regularly. Sneaking into your consciousness and even into your dreams.

With these regular connections, there are songs, smells, places and other triggers that re-make the connection at random times. So it is fine to say, ‘keep it to the booking’, but my mind has a way of filling in the ‘in-between’ places as well. I have found in this more recent phase, the phase that I believe I am still currently in, that the ‘Post-Booking Melancholy’ can be profound and deep. These wonderful women have entered my soul and although I can ‘keep it to the booking’, and respect boundaries and honour the connection, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that is a challenge. It is challenging because there really is a form of love that lives in this space.

Future Stages

I don’t know what else is to come. As I wrote in ‘Changed Man’ recently, there are other sources of changes and forces on my life outside of this journey and inside it as well. I know that other Escorts that I am close to will retire at some point. I know that ‘buying moments’ is unlikely to remain my primary manner of sexual intimacy forever. So there will be other stages, I just don’t know what they are yet. Maybe a different sort of equilibrium, maybe a decline phase, or maybe an extended ‘hiatus’ or ‘gap’. I don’t know. Many of you who read my blog have been clients for much longer than me. Maybe you would like to comment on your own phases. Have you been, gone, come back. Or do you see things very differently to me.

Perhaps if you are at the start, in that wonderful period of discovery. Then the one bit of bad news, or good news, is that the one constant is that things will change. People come into your life and they go out of it. I feel like I have formed some emotional ‘scar tissue’ from having strong feelings, then loss, and then other new strong feelings. There is a pervasive sadness that builds and grows over time, but it is the price of the adventure, the dark contrast to the lightness of amazing memories and experiences. I can’t give up the sadness, because it is the garden that all these amazing experience are growing within. There is no going back, and there is no way in hell that I would ever want to.

For every companion that I have met, I hope that some of this makes sense to you in the way that it does to me. You have all had a profound impact on me, that has made me a better person, and these connections and experiences are still shaping me into an even better man.

To my three companions that remain from the very beginning, I really don’t know how you have stuck with me through this journey. You know that I love you, and I want to say thank you once again!

Thank you as always for your readership. I would love to hear your experiences, your stages and your opinions. To those companions still with me, I truly and deeply thank you for continuing to let me share moments together with you.

Xx SP 12 October 2017

Growing Up

The journey starts to take hold …

I am an almost 50-year-old boy! Like a lot of guys, there is a teenager trapped inside, and I have been slow to learn emotional, life and important interpersonal lessons. Well the penny is starting to drop.

My almost two-year journey as a client of escorts is only part of my transition. It is an important part, and it has combined with some other difficult, painful and emotional transformations to teach me something. I am finally listening. Perhaps in some ways, I am finally ‘growing up’.

BestFootForward

Expectations of Seeing Escorts

I started this journey, as you can discover if you read ‘Becoming a Client’ out of a set of circumstances. I thought, after 10-years without real intimacy, and in a mid-life-crisis that it was about selfishness, adventure and rediscovering interpersonal intimacy. It was, and it wasn’t. I am not that guy any more.

My almost three-decade monogamous relationship looks like it is coming to an end. In the not too distant future, I will be a single, lonely, middle-aged and tragic figure. I would have expected to be looking for another long-term monogamous relationship, one that would see me through to the grave. That is what I thought. I wanted some memories before that declining last-chapter began. I wanted a bit of youth, some craziness and some sex and intimacy before resigning myself to old age and another attempt at an all encompassing monogamous relationship. After all that is what society expects.

That isn’t me anymore. I have new plans, and it is ironically the Escorts that I have met on the journey, that have changed my mind more than anyone else. Hotel bedroom and dinner booking ‘therapists’ that have shown me things about myself and shown me their own intimate journeys. Their desires, their demons, their lessons have helped me. They have also provided a mirror on my own issues and my own journey.

The Surprising Dynamics

I felt in some crazy way, that I could ‘road-test’ becoming intimate with a future soul mate by courting (seeing) Escorts. I know, madness right? I also felt that although the intimacy was purchased, it really was a ‘Girlfriend Experience’, again madness. So what has happened to me?

I fell in love. Of course I did, I was deprived of intimacy for more than a decade and Escorts for the most part are some of the most awesome and amazing people anyone could meet. Anyone who has read my blog knows that I have fallen hard (more than once). If I couldn’t have love, the I felt that I would give love, and hope for something to come back the other way. Anything really, just some care, some intimacy, some validation and interest. Also madness!

Despite my ignorance and stupidity, something that some parts of this industry depend upon from clients, I have been fortunate. In between my many mistakes, I have met some of the most amazing, and some of the most caring of people. Often, they have no doubt been frustrated with me. Head in hands, going “Bloody Hell Percie, what the fu^k are you thinking”, they have persevered with me. They have changed me. They have taken some real time and effort to help me!

My Friends

All of us meet friends in the most unlikely places. In fact, literally anywhere in our lives. Some friends and connections stick, and some don’t. I have been a very lucky client, as I think I have made a few on this journey. I know some clients write to me and say that they haven’t – and I am truly sorry if that is really the case. I have befriended a few fellow travelers. Perhaps more meaningfully, I have also been fortunate to befriend some Escorts. I have a friend in Sydney, we always have a great time together, and although we don’t see each other often, there are just too many things happening that we share for me to think that a friendship hasn’t formed. She is stuck with me!

I have a friend in Melbourne, although either of our eventual industry retirements will be a test, as I am a middle aged man and she is an amazing young woman. The same in Perth and the same in some other places, New South Wales, Queensland and even further afield. We are friends despite meeting in this industry, rather than because of it. I have also lost contacts I had mistakenly thought were friends. For a while that made me believe that every industry contact would end when the money stopped. Now I realise that is true in most cases, but it isn’t always true or some unavoidable rule.

In the situation where the money stops, and any artifice of friendship ends, if there is something else shared, a valuable exchange of another type between people, then a different future connection emerges. The possibility of a friendship that started within the moments together of an Escort-Client relationship. Some endings hurt as the reality becomes apparent. Now however I know, that in some rare and special cases, other connections will continue. I believe I now have a more mature engagement with this reality.

My Lovers

I don’t believe any of my paid companions love me. Sure I love some of them, but that is the nature of the industry, the gap between client love and escort accommodation of their clients, is the payment and the industry, that lets this dynamic and temporary reality happen in the first place. I will take friendship, and failing that, remembered experiences, as my wonderful result of this journey.

When I am single, I will be once again looking for love. I feel that I am now better prepared for this part of my journey. The challenge will be that I will be looking for it in an environment where I am open, integral with myself, and honest about my needs. I will be open that I have been a client of Escorts, and I may well be again. I know that reduces my chances of meeting people, but that is the approach I intend to take.

When that period of intensity of wanting to be in each others orbit, with nothing else intruding, that initial honey-moon of interactions is over, I will once again want broader experiences. I will want to invite others into my life. I will want to maintain a connection while exploring others. I will want to see other people, paid or unpaid, in an open and honest exchange and re-engage with people I have already met on this journey.

I know that sounds like a fairy-tale. I don’t have that much appeal to win love even in a classical model, let alone in some future utopian model of open relationships. But I don’t care. That is what I am going to do. That is what I will try. I am not ashamed of being a client of Escorts (past, present or future), I am proud of it. It has led me here. It has led me to a person that I actually want to be, a person that I am proud of, a person that needs more than one other person that I am sexually attracted to to be in my life, part of this life, sharing some aspects of the journey with me.

I still have a lot of growing up to do. But I am not going back to where I was and I have some of the most amazing people to thank for this transition. Sometimes these people are called Escorts. To me, they have been teachers, lovers, companions. In a few, a very small few cases, they are my friends.

Thank you for reading. I hope your journey is progressing too. To those most dear to me, I hope you see your place in this story and what you have done for me. I thank you. I love you. I hope I can be there for you as you have been there for me.

Xx SP 20 September 2017

Clingy Clients

Dealing with jealousy and envy …

I have been known to have very strong feelings for the Escorts that I see. So I guess if you read many of my blog articles, you would class me as a ‘clingy client’ – that would be fair enough and hard for me to challenge.

I guess since I have written on this, I talk about it on Twitter, and I generally throw off that ‘vibe’, I also get asked questions from other equally clingy clients. I was asked one such questions recently and it made me think on “how do I deal with this ‘clingy-ness’ and associated feelings of jealousy, envy and abandonment?”

HarbourNights

The Trigger Question

So I was asked … “I need to ask you for my benefit, how did you deal with <Escort that I adored> being with somebody else intimately or when she flirted with other clients on Twitter. I am really struggling with my feelings for <Escort that he adores> and I want to keep that all under wraps, please tell me if there is anything you did that I need to know?”

Wow, what a great question. I don’t know if I have a real answer, because the challenge of sorting through feelings, positive and negative is hard. It is a journey that we are all on, and I am still wading through this very territory myself. Anyway, for whatever it is worth, here is my response.

Some Thoughts On ‘Clingy-ness’

I try to look at it this way. I would never have had the opportunity to meet her if it wasn’t for her profession. She would never have seen me, or continued to see me if she wasn’t working as an Escort, and if I wasn’t a caring, good client, that she wanted to keep seeing, as long as I kept being a good client and kept paying.

The memories and adventures that I have are some of the best in my life. They changed me as a person, they come back to my mind often, and they spur me on. I am getting fitter, healthier (in mind and body) and trying to be a better man, in a very large part because of her. To be worthy of more experiences like that, and maybe one day to have experiences like that with a woman that I can meet, who doesn’t have to have me pay her – not that I mind if I do.

The fact that I had to share her with other men (and women) led to moments of intense jealousy and envy. Those feelings hurt, but they showed that I cared. I also hurt for her when she had a bad booking, or was down, or wasn’t getting enough work, or just had a shitty day. I hurt because she hurt.

When I was only hurting because I hurt, missing her, jealous, envious. I reminded myself that was because I love her and want her to do well, be well, be happy. I wanted a little part of that for me, when we were together in our amazing moments and occasionally in between, and that she wanted to see me again and again was most of the time enough for me.

I also reminded myself that she would not have been in my life at all, if she hadn’t decided to be an Escort, and if I had not decided to become a paying client.

Now that she is completely gone, I would have that back in a heartbeat.

Missing her now, is far harder than the occasional jealousy of another client or some comments on Twitter. I have lost all of her. But even then, I can’t be unhappy for very long. We had what we had for as long as we could have it. Special, unique, unrepeatable moments that will stay with me forever!

I am one very lucky man! Cling to the moments! Be glad of how they came about. It came about because at the time she chose to be an Escort and I chose to be a client. We all have to appreciate the things that allow that dynamic to occur, or all of those moments would never have existed.

Not really a solution I know, but a reality. Thank you for reading. This time I have given you something shorter, but I hope it has some meaning for you too.

Xx SP 13 September 2017.

Percie the Escort

Providing intimacy for someone else …

What is it like to ‘turn the tables’? This is the tale of the day that Percie was fortunate enough, to get a small taste of what it might be like, to be a male Escort. Possibly a once-in-a-lifetime chance to be the provider of intimacy for a female client.

Now before everyone gets their ‘knickers in a twist’, no one is suggesting that this is an authentic account of what being a male Escort is like. For one thing, I don’t have what it takes. It is however the true account of what it feels like for a long-standing client of escorts, to come as close to a ‘role change’ as possible, for a single experience. It didn’t teach me what it is like to be a male Escort, but it did teach me some other very interesting lessons.

PercieGifts

So How Did This Experience Come About?

It began on Twitter. Isabella Lawrence @SensualIsabella and I had been connected on Twitter for some time. When I started blogging, I began getting comments, both public and private from Isabella about the articles I was writing. I don’t think she liked my blog very much at the start, and was harsh but helpful on some of my naive early client views. Isabella is a writer as well, and has a lovely style and very interesting blog. We chatted in Twitter Private Messages (PMs) and started sharing part of our stories with each other and a connection built. I think she started to like me a little and I liked her, and our communications grew in frequency.

As a result, we agreed that when I was planning to be in Queensland later in the year, we would catch up for a coffee. We would meet face-to-face for the first time, discuss our mutual interests, our blog writing, and get to know each other a little better. Isabella and I had discovered that our other areas of work overlapped in the same professional field, and we started comparing notes, stories and even some professional support as part of our growing connection. We discussed what form the Queensland meeting would take, and settled on a companionship booking and either lunch or dinner – I would be the client obviously.

Then in mid-year, Isabella announced that she would be coming to Sydney for a visit. The visit was connected to both her escorting work and her other professional activities. Given our recent dialogue around her other professional field, we discussed the possibility of moving our first meeting forward, and grabbing a much earlier chance for a face-to-face meal in Sydney. Somewhere along the line, the conversation started to include joking banter about her booking me as her male companion for her upcoming Sydney business trip. A fun and unusual way of extracting some mentoring for her other work, and combining it with some personal intimacy. Initially it was a joke. In the early discussions, it was light-hearted ribbing and neither of us were taking it seriously, but it was a fun exchange and we both kept it going at different times.

I never believed that anyone would want to book me and pay me for intimacy. Isabella was having some fun, relieving boredom online, and I believe honestly letting me know that she was interested in taking our online conversation into a real-world one. In July, a month out from her Sydney visit, the joke become more serious and then a real conversation about logistics started to happen. How would it work in practice? Would it be OK? Would we both be comfortable with that dynamic? I was ‘sh^t scared to be honest, and I imagine that her own nerves and anxiety at the plan of booking me as her male companion were heightened as well. Suddenly we both agreed it would go ahead as a lunch booking on the 3rd of August, when we would both be in Sydney. It was locked in and it was going to happen.

SP-Prep

The Lead-Up To The Booking

We both nearly cancelled the idea on a number of occasions. Both of our insecurities were strong and laid bare. I didn’t know if I could play the part of a Male Escort. I didn’t have the physique, the skills, the youth, the Viagra or any idea, despite my significant experience as a client, on what I should do and how to do it. Isabella seemed to be concerned that she was not my type of Escort (or client), explaining that she was different to most of the Escorts that she had deduced I was booking. We both assured each other that there was no issue, and we had lovely exchanges of messages that reduced our mutual anxiety.

If we were going to do this, I wanted the experience to be as authentic as possible. I knew it was a sham of course, but I still wanted it to be a different and unique experience. It was a sham, because I knew her online, she wasn’t some unknown client with all of the uncertainty, risks and first meeting anonymity. I knew what she looked like, I knew she was a professional escort with all of the skills, comfort and easiness that would bring to the booking. It was a role-reversal pure and simple. I had to try and be the attentive provider, establishing my boundaries and rules, but still trying to live up to the wishes and dreams of my client. She was going to be able to play the client, deciding what she wanted from the booking and letting me know what her desires were and how I could try and satisfy them. At one point she joked that she could play the part of a deliberately difficult client, if I really wanted to see ‘authentic’. That alone was an arousing and intriguing thing. Could I satisfy my client, even if it was more act than reality, especially if they were making it challenging for me?

I went and purchased condoms, lube and other paraphernalia. I had a haircut, purchased some new clothes and an ‘out-call’ bag. I always prepare for my bookings as a client, but I wanted to be the best provider that I could be, and I went to extra effort. It was all part of the fun, and it was also enjoyable to talk about the difference of this experience online. We slowly went from ‘keeping it quiet’ to sharing little bits and pieces of the lead up on Twitter. Isabella told me that if I was a ‘real Escort’, I would need a profile. So I made one up, sent it to her and then posted a version of it on Twitter as well.

PB-Bio

The Booking – Lunch

I arrived at my hotel in the morning and my room wasn’t ready. I needed to get in, shower, put my long planed preparation in place and be calm and ready. I had organised an early check-in, but the last guest had held everything up by leaving late. My first real lesson came at that point. I was so much more anxious. I couldn’t message my Escort and say lets meet somewhere else, or the room isn’t ready yet. I was the provider, it needed to be perfect and I didn’t want my first thing to be an excuse about a problem caused by someone else. I begged and argued and finally got into my room, with 20-minutes before I needed to leave for lunch. It was far more stressful than being the client and just updating an Escort on external problems – I didn’t want any external problems, I wanted to be the perfect companion and be ready and on time.

I arrived at our lunch at the agreed time, just, it was a close thing. Isabella was already at Rockpool in Sydney and she got up to greet me. I nearly tripped on a chair and it spoiled my planned introduction. I could feel little glossy sweat beads starting to form on my forehead, from the really strong nerves I was feeling. We sat and I hid my hands under the table to try and remain cool and look as relaxed and debonair as I could manage. We broke the ice quickly. It was an easy conversation, with lots of laughing and it was all wonderful and amazingly natural. I did start to forget that I was meant to be ‘providing’ the companionship. Isabella is a natural and an amazing conversationalist, so this was hardly an authentic experience of having to work hard to get a conversation going, or find common ground, or deal with the menu and fine dining issues of someone less experienced. Anyone dining with Isabella is in for a great time – and we sure had a great time.

My only lesson or difference of experience here, apart from the opening nerves, was a surprising one. It was something I should have realised, but it caught me completely by surprise. I wasn’t paying for the lunch, so all of a sudden intense anxiety hit me about what was the right approach to ordering – did I need to go cheap, mid-range or take Isabella’s offer, the same one that I make all the time, have whatever you want. I went mid-range with the meal and the wine, which at Rockpool is still an extravagance. It wasn’t exactly what I would have ordered if I was paying, especially the wine, but it was close. It made me wonder that when I said ‘have whatever you want’ to companions, how restrained were they really being? How were they making their judgements on what to order? How in future could I really, really convince them to relax and order whatever they really wanted to eat and drink and have a good time. This is a subtle difference between client and provider, but it surprised the hell out of me and made me angry at myself that I hadn’t thought of this difference before.

It was an amazing lunch, really first class and Isabella was magnificent. I hope that I managed to play the part of provider well enough. I did try and shut up about myself and listen more to her, ask her questions, and let her have the lunch conversation that she wanted, but hell, I’m a talker and it is hard to change that in one go. I think I did OK.

SP-View

The Booking – Dessert

We went back to the Shangri La hotel in a taxi, holding hands, continuing to laugh and taking our time as Isabella was recovering from a recent knee injury. I knew she was in a fair bit of pain, but she was pushing on. I was in a really comfortable place, and I was thinking to myself, I want to show Isabella the best possible time that I can. I know I can’t ‘rock someone’s world’ with professional male Escort skills, but I wanted to be intimate, be of service and make her feel good about inviting me.

Isabella had selected me. She actually wanted to meet me, see me, treat me and be intimate with me. That is amazingly special. It is hard even to write this, because it is making me emotional all over again. I have had girlfriends, been married, and even been propositioned for affairs (on very rare occasions), but I had never before had someone choose me in this way. It is nice when Escorts indicate that they are close to me and are happy to accept re-bookings. It does make me feel special as a client, but I am still paying to see them.

It is something else entirely for someone to actively choose me. I wonder now when I see aggressive complaining about minor client annoyances, happening on platforms like Twitter, whether these more seasoned professional Escorts remember, how few people actually get to be chosen in this way. I found it very special, humbling and fulfilling to have the feeling, even for just a moment of role-reversal, to be chosen to be someone’s paid companion.

Almost anyone can be a client. If they make the right approach, are decent, have the money and behave the right way, they can see amazing Escorts. Not many people can be Escorts. Develop a brand that has personal and intimate appeal, make others want them so badly that they will pay, over and over again, and often fall for them. It is special to be of service and to be wanted. Isabella made me feel so special, it is probably the most desired I have ever felt in my life. Someone wanted to be with me badly enough that they would pay me for the privilege. Even in the pretending of this, it was a special moment where I got lost in the role reversal and saw how much of a gift being desired is.

We spoke more. Isabella told me that there was no pressure, we didn’t have to go through with anything and we could just talk and have fun. We did a little of that of course, but I wanted to get intimate with my client for the day, and try and make her happy with me. I did OK again. I wish I had done better, but nerves and self-imposed pressure played their part. I was turned on and hard, no Viagra required, and was having a great time physically, but I admit it was lucky that Isabella was a professional. Despite our role-reversal, it was clear who was the novice (me) and who was the expert (Isabella).

SP-Wine

I don’t know how Escorts manage time, I was terrible. I had always intended to go over time, but I really had no idea, and hadn’t really prepared myself for being ‘on-the-ball’ with alarms, or a discrete clock, or some other way of knowing and managing the time. In the end, I left at close to 6pm, about 90-minutes more than our agreed 4-hour session. I was having a great time, I would have stayed longer, but you know, professional boundaries. Of course Isabella also let me stay until then, so she was cutting me some ‘rare experience’ slack as well. I had a wonderful afternoon, it was an amazing and unique experience, and in many ways it was really pure. Two people that thought they might get along, finding out that their expectations were right. I know Isabella will never book me again – I’m simply just not male Escort material, but I will book her. She is a wonderful Escort.

The Aftermath!

Isabella gave me a card, a gift (Whisky of course) and my fee, a once-only special ‘newby discount’ rate of $50 for what turned out to be a 6-hour lunch. Far more than I’m worth. That payment is “going straight to the pool-room” – framed and honoured. The one time that Percie was paid for sex, the day gravity turned up-side down, water ran up-hill and time went backwards. The day that Percie got to pretend to be a male Escort. Thank you Isabella for a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Now whether I had prepaid Isabella for this to be a role-play or not, really shouldn’t matter to anyone but us. Regardless of that, we both knew that this was pretend, a fabricated experience. Isabella is a professional escort, I am a client. That is the world and although this experience probably taught us both things, especially me, it wasn’t real. No one suggested that all of a sudden Percie was an escort, but despite that, Twitter went into a mini melt-down!

A number of our connections had been celebrating the lead-up, the fun and games of the preamble, and then the booking itself. We both left the day thinking that we had shared our wonderful experience with some of our Twitter buddies. The next morning was a different and nasty world. Apparently we had committed some huge offense against humanity. Some was directed at me, some at Isabella, we both got more than our fair share of haters. Apparently somehow we had disrespected the industry, some smack-in-the-face for struggling workers. It was said that my ego was running wild, that all of a sudden I thought of myself as some gun male Escort. Of course none of the haters asked, none of them discussed, and none of them tried to understand the story or even take a look at the lead-up. Since this was something different, they jumped in, with their own agenda, their own issues, and their own viciousness. A little Twitter campaign against Isabella, or me, or both of us ran for a few days.

The level of nastiness drove Isabella to an asthma attack and hospitalization. In my case, I am actually appreciative of the outcomes. It showed me some vicious people to avoid, it showed me some people that I thought would support me that didn’t, it showed me some that supported me privately, and it showed others that despite the significant personal risk to themselves, didn’t hesitate to jump in and support me. To those that sent me private well wishes, thank you so much. To those that put themselves on the line, I really don’t know how to thank you, or if I will ever be able to repay you – but I know who you are, I love you, and I saw first hand the quality of people that you are. Brave, lovely and like me, stupid enough to jump into social media storms, when far more sensible people would steer clear.

I’m not worried for me, but the malice directed to Isabella is unforgivable in my opinion. The people who complain about their own trolls, haters and aggressors that can hypocritically turn on a lovely and sensitive colleague – well I guess you know what I think. Somehow she is more forgiving of you than I am, so if you still think harm was done here, it was my doing and not hers.

I have this strange feeling of joy at the experience and meeting Isabella. Thankfulness at the insights and lessons that it taught me. Also some thankfulness in knowing who to trust and who not to trust. Plus residual surprise at how these crazy Twitter storms grow and progress, and who it is that seems to want to fuel them.

I am no Escort. I am a pretty simple average guy who is a client of sex workers. I write on the experience occasionally. I make mistakes, I have issues and I stuff up. This wasn’t one of those ‘stuff-ups’, it was always respectful of this industry and if anything, it has given me even more respect for the challenges of being an Escort – especially when solidarity and support within the community goes missing.

Thank you for reading. I hope that you can respect Isabella and leave her alone or show her your support. In my case, see this tale however you want. A fun role-play, an ego maniac client, a blight on the industry, or just a guy on a journey. It has cured me of thinking I can somehow get everyone to like me – that lesson alone was worth the experience. To Isabella my companion for the day, it was special, you are amazing, and I love you for being part of this with me. Thank you so much!

Xx SP 7 September 2017