OMG Escort Rates

One client’s perspective on escort rates – yes I went there!

Don’t talk about rates! Pay what is asked!

These are the two golden rules of rates when it comes to clients and escorts. Don’t talk about rates, don’t talk about rates, don’t talk about rates! Pay what is asked or walk away!

So why, in only my second blog article, am I tackling possibly the most controversial topic of all? Plus why did I come back on 3 May 2017 and again on 6 May 2018, and add some additional edits to this article? Am I crazy?


Rates from one clients perspective.

Perhaps the third rule is ‘don’t discuss what role rates play’ in the escort and client dynamic and client’s decision making process. Now here is some territory that perhaps isn’t that well understood, because we never really talk about it. So remembering that this is only my perspective, here we go …

Why does an escort charge a certain rate?

At some level this is market forces at work, the same as almost any service industry, but with some major differences. A client normally doesn’t know, and shouldn’t know the basis of an individual escort’s rate decisions. Maybe the escort only wants a certain volume of bookings and lifts their price to reduce quantity, as a result maximising their earning potential from a lower volume approach. Maybe it is the opposite, and rates are lower to maximise the quantity of bookings and win new clients in a full-time, higher volume approach. That decision is private and largely secret and there are many personal factors involved.

There are a huge number of personal and business reasons for choosing a particular set of rates and that is entirely up to the escort – end of discussion. Something many clients (a couple of my own very early mistakes included) take some time to learn. As a client, when you would like to see a particular escort, and feel that their rate is higher than your payment comfort level – walk away – seriously, walk away … it is the only option. Almost no discussion past this point ever ends well.

Why does a client choose to book at certain rate(s)?

Again this is private for many of the same reasons: volume, personal finances, preferred booking format (duration and type) and again a host of other private reasons. So all I can speak to is my own experience. Over time I have settled into a preferred booking type (duration) that I mix around a little for both new experiences and some variety. I also have a preferred pricing rate, or more accurately a pricing range, that again I play around with from time to time. I am fairly comfortable with where I fit, and the type of escorts that I generally like to see.

The reason for the ‘format’ preference is that it works best for my personality, desires and comfort within a booking. The reason for the rate-range is that it is where most of the escorts I see regularly price their service. Purchasing comfort, and after a while a sense of fairness and loyalty, as much as anything else, keeps me largely within that preferred rate range.

Everyone’s range and preference is different, and they shouldn’t be shamed, just as every escort’s rate can be different, and they shouldn’t be shamed or questioned either. Both the escort’s pricing decisions and the client’s buying decisions should be respected – where they match bookings should occur, and where they don’t match, bookings should not occur. It’s pretty simple at that level, when we keep entitlement, jealousy, competitiveness and other comparisons out of the mix and decision process.

What are the signals given by rate choices?

There are however many signals given to prospective clients by selecting certain rates and rate structures. I say prospective clients, because rates are part of the escort’s ‘marketing mix’ before a client has seen that escort. After the first meeting, the price may be a future barrier or incentive to re-booking, but it isn’t simply about first-booking marketing any more. For prospective clients, the time lengths and booking selections on offer and their price differences ‘say something’ about the escort, their preferences and ‘booking type’ fit. Here are a couple of over-simplified examples.

If an escort has a reducing scale for longer bookings it tends to signal a preference for longer dates (compared to more hours being on the same unchanging hourly rate). If a dinner booking is significantly less than the same number of hours for a comparable straight booking, then it would seem to signal that dinner bookings are a preferred, or at least enjoyed booking type (especially if the escort says as much and talks about food and dining in their profile). If overnight and weekend rates have a significant reduction on the base hourly rate, then once again a signal is sent. This may not be true or even the deliberate intention of the escort, but it is the signal that is sent to a potential first time client in any case. These pricing signals combine with photos, bios, social media and other elements in the client’s selection of who they are going to try and book.

Value and cost, or if you prefer, the apparent hierarchy of escort rates?

This is possibly where most of the angst about rates comes from – what is an escort worth? How do they compare? What does a higher rate buy? I don’t like or even agree with any of these questions for the following reasons that I hope are obvious.

The escort-client booking is almost unique compared to most other financial transactions. The difference between a good experience and a bad experience is as far apart as any service can be. A client can spend the same amount of money with two escorts and have, in one case the best experience of their life, and in the other case an experience they would wish to forget – one is priceless, the other (at best) is a waste of money. For an escort, the gulf between good and bad is even more profound – it is the enormous gap between an enjoyable connection and putting their life at risk – the full range of possibilities that exist in human interaction, one is relatively easy money and the other is not worth any amount of money.

Put another way, one extreme asks the question – why wouldn’t everyone want to do this as a profession? The other extreme – why would anyone do this with such great potential risk attached? This dialogue leads into perceptions, society, bad clients, good clients, sexism and a host of topics for another time (which as at the time of updating this article over a year later, I still haven’t had the courage to tackle that many of these sensitive areas). Within these ranges, talk of ‘is it worth the money’ is almost nonsensical. Personally I have had many experiences that I will never forget and I have also had one or two rare ones, that I wish I had forgotten already – at those extremes, the value for money conversation makes no sense at all.

An escort is worth far more than their rate.

The range of experience and quality has very little to do with pricing and rate. It also varies enormously between one encounter where there is a good connection and another encounter where the client and escort simply don’t ‘click’. Depending upon needs, connection and a host of non-monetary ‘compatibility’ elements, the connection between escort and client is largely independent of rate. My experiences do not correlate at all with rate. I have had mind-blowing bookings with ‘lower-rate’ escorts and not-so-great ones with ‘higher-rate’ escorts. Really after the booking is made, a client should try and forget the rate and enjoy the ‘date’ as by that point, the amount spent has lost any relevance on the experience. The trick is finding where the balance lies and then sticking with it as much as possible – specifically the dynamic of ‘regulars’ (a topic I covered after this initial article, looking at rates and the impact on maintaining ongoing ‘regular’ client-escort connections).

So an escort chooses their rate as an earning and business decision, it is not a reflection of their value – any quality escort is ‘worth’ so much more than their ‘rate’. An escort is selling a service, provided personally for a set time – they are not selling themselves and as a result the rate is their pricing on the value of their service, it is not their personal value.

For a client, their spending rate is also a capacity and personal decision, it should not be seen as stating or inferring value and a good client knows that they are getting more than their money is worth, and for that reason, clients should ‘add value’ to the date. Clients should ‘bring additional value’ with manners, a nice environment, being at our best (attire, hygiene, cleanliness, sober and in a good frame-of-mind) and anything else that shows real value for another human being’s time, where money does not. Clients who think about ‘giving more than their money’ are generally going to get a far better experience, and the value and enjoyment is increased for both the client and escort alike.

More to say?

I had hoped to get into regulars, rate changes, discounting, gifts and other connected topics, but this is already too long an article, so more another day. A little of this was added later under ‘Discounts, promos and rates’ if you are interested in that follow up article. Obviously I am interested in your comments and thoughts. This is only my view, so please don’t get into heated debate. I am only speaking for myself and my experience, not for every client and certainly not for escorts – please add your perspective here in comments if you want or through discussion on Twitter.

Thanks so much for your readership!

Xx SP 7 March 2017 (article updated 3 May 2017 and again when republished on 6 May 2018).

Discounts, Promos and Rates

More thoughts on Escort rates and pricing models.

OMG are you crazy?

In a word – yes! Talking about sex-worker rates is always dangerous territory. All those jumbled up concepts of market forces, value, personal determination, competition and client expectation. What a minefield!

Since I said in my earlier piece on Escort Rates that I would discuss regular’s rates, rate changes, and discounting in a later article, a few people have called me out on that commitment. So here it is, Escort Rates Part 2 – discounts, promos, rate changes and regulars. Almost certain to get a wide variety of comments!


Discounting and Promotions.

I can see that this can be a valuable tool for any business, escorts included. As a client however, I do not book escorts on discounts and promotions (at least not anymore). There is a simple reason for this. I have a comfort level for rates, just as I do for restaurants, wine and most discretionary luxury items, and it is fantastic when those brands, products and services discount. But here is the rub, those things are not people.

I make a booking with escorts where the expectation is that I might make a connection and then re-book, maybe many, many more times. If an escort is only in my price bracket once, and I really like them, then I have a problem. They aren’t really in my part of the market and I either become a future cheapskate or uncomfortable with the rate – either way is a bad outcome that is best avoided from the start. Now clearly not everyone will feel this way, as for the clients who only want one experience, then that is a whole different matter. The question then is, does the escort want to encourage a group of mostly ‘once only’ clients – clearly a decision for them to make.

Rate Changes.

If you are a client for any length of time, rates are going to change. Some escorts choose to move their rates around fairly dramatically as demand grows or shrinks, some make a value decision and stick to it, some increase progressively over time. As you would expect, there is almost every model you can think of, so I need to talk in general terms.

If an escort increases their rates, they have three choices for existing clients – don’t tell them, let them know, or ‘grand-father’ them (hold the old rate for regulars or certain past clients). My preference is being told – it shows a level of communication and respect. I have been in a booking and paid less than expected because I don’t always re-check an escort’s rates, that is an embarrassing situation for a client and an uncomfortable one for an escort.

I am also not keen on being ‘grand-fathered’. I know that seems strange, but you can’t be on lower rates forever and it means new clients are ‘earning’ the escort more money and there will eventually be a temptation for the escort not to see their lower paying older clients. I would rather be told, maybe granted an adjustment period, and then pay the full expected rate or if necessary, make the choice to move on and let the escort earn at the rate they now expect and command.

I should say however that escorts wanting to build solid repeat business with regular clients should exercise caution with dramatic rate changes and big transitions. Most clients can handle a bit more, and then a bit more and so on, but a large jump may force their hand into making a different choice and being forced to stop seeing the escort. I have had to say goodbye on a couple of occasions due to a large change, only to find the escort lowered their rate again months later. It is hard to reengage under that scenario knowing that it might be short-lived.

Pricing for regulars. This is likely to be the most controversial section of this article, as I am not fully sure what I think about this part of the topic myself. I guess my most accurate belief would be that service suppliers should recognise their most important customers in every industry. What that means is a matter for the supplier and their customers and there are so many ways to demonstrate the strength and importance of a relationship. Reducing price for regulars may not be the best for either the escort or the client. The client may not want to save money, they may just want a better connection, special attention, deeper intimacy, customised bookings, choice on times, or any other feature of a booking that encourages this regular connection to continue and grow, rather than a bit more money left over. Again this will depend on the escort and the nature of their clients.

In my case, I pay certain regular escorts above their standard rate. Sound’s crazy right? Maybe I am, but my thinking is that I want them to know that they are special to me, and send a signal that I value them more than a set rate. In effect adding a small ‘cash-gift’ to the booking. I tend to stop this ‘added payment’ at a certain rate, and if I am being completely open and honest (as I have tried to be everywhere else with this blog), then there are certain slightly higher rate escorts that I do wish would offer me a slight reduction for regular bookings. It is a strange dynamic and I guess it is not wanting to pay too far below or too far above the level that I have become accustomed to paying.

So this is complex territory as it is a combination of client and escort expectations within the context of all of their experiences and their own spending or earning comparisons. This article is just one client’s experience and it is already getting complicated. So making it simple – pay what is asked or walk away, unless you have a close enough business relationship for a mutually beneficial discussion on what works between you.

Comfort with rates in general.

An escort is not selling themselves, they are selling their range of services for a given time as long as all of their other conditions are met. A client is not buying a person, they are buying a selection of services for a given time as long as they meet or exceed the conditions of purchase. So the rate has nothing to do with the value of the person. Since it is also an interaction between two people, it should always include respect, boundaries, privacy and a desire to make each other comfortable in an intimate and highly personal setting.

What an escort charges for their offer is entirely their business. What a client is willing to pay is also entirely their business. When they match, business should proceed. If they don’t, then both the escort and client should walk away with good grace.

Shaming, attempting to force a generic model on others, seeing comparison rates as a judgement of personal value or service quality, and similar judgements on the industry segment (rate range) that a client chooses to buy within, are all poor behaviors in my opinion. I know there are certain escorts that I might wish to see, but they charge too high a rate for me to consider booking – that is their good fortune and I have no issue with their rate, in the same manner as certain houses are out of my reach. I also have a comfort range and choose to operate within it (most of the time), I should not have to defend what I buy from others that operate at a lower-range. Ultimately we all sort out our buying and selling behaviours for ourselves and that doesn’t mean everyone else should be at the same level.

I sincerely thank every escort that continues to see me, as two things have happened to make that the case. Firstly, I am getting more value than I am paying for, and secondly, they are getting the business outcome that they want for what is given in return. Clients should respect the escorts that take their repeat bookings and escorts should respect the clients who continue to return to them, because more than anywhere else, the re-booking thresholds seem to best indicate where the equilibrium in this industry exists.

That may have turned out to be a rather dry discussion, as money often is. Maybe I should write on something else that I also know nothing about – like sex toys. A little joke.

I hope I haven’t upset anyone too much, but I also hope I have made you think and perhaps share, comment or consider your own position. Thanks so much for reading.

Xx SP 20 April 2017 (article updated 27 May 2017).

Thoughtful Gifts

Some thoughts and recollections on client-escort gifts.

Gifts between escorts and clients.

I really do need to write more upbeat blog articles. Here is one that I really enjoyed writing and have enjoyed updating as well. This piece may not be exactly what you think, this is not the story of clients giving escorts gifts, I will write on that topic another day, this is the story of clients (this client) receiving gifts from escorts.

Maybe if you are a fellow traveler (client), then this may happen for you a lot, but in my experience it is a relatively rare and highly cherished thing. Maybe this is because it goes against the ‘flow of money’, but when a small, relatively low-cost, but clearly considerate gift is given, it is a very moving and memorable thing. It is one of those surprising highlights that just feels so nice and that feeling lasts a very long time.


Why is a gift from an escort so special?

There are a number of obvious reasons, the main one being that it is unexpected. In addition, no matter how small, it is a return of some of the financial earnings of the escort. It also shows that you, the client, were on their mind outside of a booking for at least long enough for the purchase of a gift. I don’t know about other clients, but to know that a single thought of me passed through the mind of an escort I care about, outside of the booking or planning, is such an amazingly uplifting feeling – and a gift is proof of that moment of thought. When it is a gift with meaning, that shows a real understanding of you and your personality or desires, then it is a joyous and highly memorable moment.

Small time extensions, communication outside of bookings or their arrangement, extra effort in any aspect of the booking, clear attentiveness, all of these things are of course gifts as well. Anything ‘above and beyond’ that is given at the escort’s discretion, is in its own way a gift, given to the client by the escort. These should never be expected and they should always be appreciated. However the receipt of something physical, a real gift and symbol that sits outside of the booking, is a very sweet experience indeed.

Some of my memorable moments.

I have had champagne brought to bookings by my companions, those moments stick in my memory. I have had cards on my Birthday and at Christmas with very kind words, even notes left for no reason at all, I have kept them all, well hidden, but they all mean something to me. One in particular just struck a chord with what it said and how it was given and it brings a tear to my eye just recalling it.

I have been given a cigarette lighter from an escort’s overseas holiday destination and weird candy and chocolates brought back from overseas trips as well. Every gift I have received I recall clearly, and they all bring the memory of the booking and the person back with them, recalled more easily than some other bookings. The recollection is made easier thanks to the connection, that moment of surprise that goes with receiving an unexpected gift, offered by a beautiful and kind escort, makes those moments stick clearly in my memory.

A few gift stories illustrate my point, and they make me remember sweet and wonderful things about four amazing women. Firstly there is a repeat offender who sends me back, or returns in hand, with strange and wonderful alcoholic beverages and other accoutrements from her travels – items not generally available in Australia – yes she is an addiction in more ways than one. This has also included weird and wonderful sex toys from overseas. She is a lot braver than me, heading through customs with some of those items, all for the fun of discovery and sharing.

Secondly two wonderful escorts brought me back a very meaningful item from their overseas travels. That specific (and currently secret) item has been ‘on-tour’ with me and may take up its own place in a photo essay or blog article story one day. Finally, there is a simple engraved key ring, it captures an important connection and mantra for me so clearly and simply, that it just brings a whole host of memories and emotions flooding back to me whenever I see it – and I see it every day. I named a whole article after this gift called ‘Adventure’, this one gift is an anchor-point and perpetual reminder that we should all be here to have fun, great experiences and adventure. Sometimes I need that message and a re-focus on fun.

Making moments meaningful.

I think my take-away from this article is a simple one. Whether a client or an escort, you can make a moment meaningful outside of the financial or situational specifics of a booking. Something exchanged, words, feelings, a gift or giving a little something extra of yourself, they all show that there is just a little more happening between two people than a transaction. Of course if there isn’t that is perfectly fine, a normal booking is highly enjoyable, rewarding and fun, just not the subject of this article. Sometimes however it is nice to give and to receive, just a little bit more. In some cases, the gift is so charged with meaning, it will never be forgotten.

If you are the person going the extra step, you are giving the other person just a bit better experience and a better day. If you know someone well enough, you may even end up giving them something that means the world to them.

Celebrating the adventure!

You may feel from some of my articles and explorations that I have a negative reading on escorting and my experiences. That couldn’t be further from the truth, it is just that my writing is often here to explore issues, and often those issues are areas of tension in this tension packed industry. I am pleased in this case to tell you a story, a true and emotional story, of real giving generously offered to me.

I am not sure that the gifts I have given to escorts in return mean as much, but I have been touched deeply on a number of occasions by the thoughtfulness of escorts and the things that they have given to me – sometimes a gift, sometimes an idea, sometimes something of themselves – most escorts are extremely giving people and that is part of the reason why my secret client life, often feels like the richest part of my life. It is certainly rich in experience and human interaction.

I hope that it isn’t just my ‘issue posts’ that gather attention, I hope that you also like hearing something on the positive things that escorts bring to clients like me.

Thank you for your readership. If you feel like sharing, commenting or feedback, that is greatly appreciated, as are your thoughts and experiences if you care to add them. Thanks to Mike and Bella for comments on the original version of this article.

Xx SP 19 April 2017 (article updated 25 May 2017).