Thoughts on selecting an escort. How do I choose? How do you choose?
Well I have no idea how you make this very difficult choice. So this article will have to be about how I select an escort for a booking request. Hopefully that gets a few people talking, in social media or via comments, about your thoughts on this complicated decision. Originally, I called this article: Virtual, Physical and Cerebral … but that wasn’t a great title, so I have renamed this piece the obvious — How to choose an Escort?
There is a big difference between making a first-time booking and making a repeat booking, so I am going to try and cover a little of each. In the case of an initial booking, a client normally hasn’t met the escort, for this article I am going to call that a ‘virtual’ selection, since these days it is most likely the result of an entirely online discovery.
Virtual to Physical – meeting for the first time.
For most clients, I guess the process starts with some sort of ‘imagined scenario’ of what a first booking with a particular escort would be like. Since everyone’s ‘tastes’ are different, and people’s desires and imagination are so varied, clients are likely to differ significantly in their approach and the online method that works for them. So the process I am describing is one that seems to work for me, it is not a suggestion, and I am interested in what works for you.
It is probably a general truth that photos play the largest part in the initial ‘virtual’ selection. Sexual arousal for most men is very visual and it is not surprising that Escorts go to great lengths getting regular photo shoots and spending long periods of time deciding how to present themselves physically and what photos to show. At this point however, every potential client’s difference in what ‘works for them’ comes into play. I don’t have a particular preference for hair colour for example, although looking back I am about half blond and half brunette for bookings with a small number of redheads.
I am also not concerned about full-face or hidden-face. Although full-face makes it easier to make a selection, I fully respect escorts wanting to maintain as much privacy as possible. In this early selection stage, even with full-face, the prospective client still has to ‘imagine’ the booking and the escort. As a side note, it is rare to be disappointed on meeting an escort with a ‘hidden face’ profile, it is usually about privacy and not hiding features.
Making an initial selection.
It is an uncomfortable truth that at the beginning of a search, prospective clients are really browsing a ‘catalogue of escorts’. Whether the ‘punter’ (a name I dislike, but suits the ‘searching and gambling’ nature of this process) is utilizing the services of websites like Scarlet Blue (SB), Available Angels (AA), Punter Planet (PP), Private Girls (PG) or any of the other aggregating websites (some now defunct as a result of the unfortunate Sesta-Fosta consequences), or just making their own searches, it all starts with finding escorts that ‘appeal’ to the client. This is primarily a ‘how does the escort look’ decision.
My personal preference in Australia is Scarlet Blue, but I have reviewed and selected escort profiles from other sites as well. There are of course escorts with their own websites and active on social media, and there are approaches that don’t require the use of aggregator (industry) websites. I have seen escort’s personal websites, however I have normally discovered escorts from the industry websites named above, or from the social media posts of these same websites, when they progressively promote their advertising escorts. Or in my case from direct discovery on Twitter.
I realise there is a lot to say on this topic, so I will probably go into more detail on specific selection thinking in a future article. It is important to say that during this initial profile review, I am not interested in an escort’s rates (price) or their services. My first question is a simple one, do I find the escort physically attractive? Then, do I like what they say and how they describe themselves, including any insights that I can see from the escort’s social media and other clues, reviews (with lots of caution), personal preferences and the general style of their self-representation online.
In most cases I generally filter out escorts who say nothing about themselves and those who are too aggressive online. I look for communicative escorts who seem authentic and are not bitter or angry. I know this is still only an ‘impression’, but some escorts spend almost all of their online energy complaining about how awful clients are, and in some cases fighting with other sex-workers – well you get the point, I don’t book them.
Progressing to a booking request.
I expect that similar to me, most prospective clients look at many more profiles of Escorts than they actually make booking requests with. So once I have ‘selected an Escort’, what moves me to request a booking? In my case I am seeing less new escorts these days, because I want to re-book others I have seen before. Every so often however the adrenaline and the newness of a ‘first-time booking’ is attractive and I go down this road of discovery again. It is mostly about practicalities by this stage. Will the escort be in the same place (city) as me? What services do they provide and can I afford their rate? Have I already thought about booking them in the past, or heard another escort recommend them? These are all significant factors that come together as part of a complicated personal set of considerations.
There is lots that I could say on services and rates – topics for another time. For me it is simply this, do the services indicate I can book a date that will match my preferences.
As a longer, dinner-date kind-of-guy, I am looking for indications that this is also an enjoyed booking format for the escort. I am not bothered by covered or uncovered, but I am likely to avoid escorts that are more focused on short-bookings, primarily PSE or other combinations that suggest a dinner-date GFE is likely to be less comfortable for them (and therefore for me as well).
I don’t care if the escort does porn or not, just whether when in their ‘escort mode’ they have a service offering that suits my preferences. Then I make a rate decision, this clearly (and sometimes sadly) knocks out a number of choices, as we all have our own comfort range for anything that we buy, just as every escort has their own pricing decision as a result of a large number of personal and market factors.
When rate ‘mismatch’ is the filter.
I know some prospective clients may look for ‘promotions’, or try to negotiate a ‘special rate’, or in severe cases, criticize the escort publicly or privately for her ‘supposedly high rate’ (in their opinion). None of these are appropriate client options in my personal view. I don’t take promotional rates any more. The problem is that if I really like the escort (and why would I be meeting an escort that I did not hope to like), then I am going to have a rate problem in the future.
I also hate negotiating rates, it actually makes me feel sleazy (OK, you can say sleazier if you want to be mean) and I think that it creates an instant reduction in the satisfaction of both the escort and therefore ultimately the client too. I have negotiated ‘unusual date formats’ in the past, but even in these special circumstances, I am now avoiding the negotiation of rates for any type of booking. So that means a rate either works or it doesn’t. It also means I am extremely unlikely to tell an escort that ‘the rate doesn’t work’ for me. I just move on to a different decision.
I guess it is something that every escort (like every business) would love to know – how many bookings and from what type of customer would they get as a result of different rate choices? A crystal ball would be wonderful! I am very happy for escorts who are more successful than I can afford, but for my bookings, that means I have to move on to another escort that I wish to meet who is within my affordability (probably better described as ‘comfort’) range.
A thought for escorts considering their rates, if you are starting out or not getting the volume that you want, maybe you made a poor rate choice. Clients like me are unlikely to tell you and you either get the volume that suits the rate or the clients who love to negotiate a deal. Of course if you are getting too many booking enquiries, then you know what to do. If that prices me out of being able to book you, then I will still be the first to congratulate you on your business success. I am in the same position in my career – some customers can’t afford me and some competitors charge more than me. That’s life and business.
So if everything matches, then when an opportunity presents itself, I will enquire for a booking – that process is also too big a topic to cover here, again a topic for another day. Another worthwhile note here, if I intend to book an escort in the future, then I don’t feel guilty engaging with them in social media. If that escort rejects me in social media (for example as a time waster), then I will move on to someone who has treated me more kindly prior to our first meeting.
Physical to Cerebral – meeting for the second time (and beyond).
All of the above relates to first bookings only. Once you have seen someone, the dynamic changes to something completely different. New photos, new bio, reviews by other clients and for the most part public social media are no longer part of the booking process, it is primarily about how our past bookings went, and how the communication between bookings supports re-booking and ultimately regular booking.
I know some escorts have calendars made up almost entirely of re-bookings and as a result can ease back on their public marketing and advertising. I know others who, for whatever reason, have largely new clients. Some of this will be about choice, part of it may be that some escorts are better at winning new clients and some are better at holding on to the ones they have. I know which group of escorts I prefer to see, but any combination is a legitimate business model and will appeal to certain clients. If an Escort’s business model and desired client base are a perfect match – then that is a wonderful thing. Another day I will explore what makes me re-book and why I see certain escorts as regulars, again those dynamics work for me but may not work for others. To be honest, as some of my articles show, it doesn’t always work for me – we are all learning and we are all changing.
Eventually the marketing (virtual online aspect) gives way to an ongoing escort-client relationship that is the same as any ongoing connection between two people (or a business and its customers) – it depends on both parties getting what they need from the relationship and that is the interesting part, what a client needs varies enormously and so does what an escort needs (after the obvious need to earn a living).
I believe pure physical appeal starts to give way very quickly to other things. In my case, that is a complex list but comes down to ‘how well we click’. How much do I strongly desire to see someone again, that I have enjoyed their company and want to have more moments with, someone that I am starting to think of as more of an ‘occasional friend and desired lover’, than an Escort on some industry list.
How do you make this difficult and complicated choice?
Thank you for your readership. Your thoughts, comments and article sharing are all greatly appreciated.
Xx SP 20 March 2017 (article updated 11 May 2017 and again on 18 May 2018).